As-salaamu ‘alaykum!
NOTE: As of September 26th, 2009, I am still an ex-Muslim and an atheist. Life is great! I occasionally check this blog but will not make any more posts. The blog will remain online for people to read my testimony. Thanks for visiting. Take care everyone!
Welcome to KHALAS! The primary objective of this site is to showcase the testimony detailing my experience with Islaam. I’m not much of a blogger, nor am I even talkative. Nevertheless, I hope you’ll read my testimony and comment.
I wasn’t born Muslim but had intentionally converted to the religionof Islaam. However, when doubt arose, I decided not to be passive in faith. Truthfully, I desperately wanted to remain Muslim. Eventually, I left Islaam and now vehemently question many aspects of the religion. In predominantly Muslim countries, adherents to Islaam unfortunately do not have the freedom of dissent. Apostates of Islaam are heavily persecuted in Muslim countries and usually face ostracization from their families and colleagues. Ex-Muslims living in an Islamic country, in accordance with Sharee’ah (Islaamic Law), are to be executed if they do not return to Islaam. Rather than be outspoken, most apostates have to dwell subdued in silence. Thus, their courageous stories remain untold. On behalf of those ex-Muslims under duress, I shall speak out.
Apostates of Islaam need to band together, to counter the Muslims that seek our demise. Even by creating just a blog with one post, you can make a difference. We need to speak out, band together, and create a momentous movement to promote our position and foster human rights. The latter is possibly our main cause.
We ex-Muslims stand together in solidarity against this particular ideology that blatantly solicits our fatality. There is much truth and good in the religion but, in all honesty, we find vices within it as well. Abandoning Islaam is an endeavour going against a Muslim’s senses and conveniences. The process entails shattering all traditions and patterns they’ve been accustomed to. For example, if a Muslim husband suddenly apostasies from Islaam, his marriage is rendered invalid, according to Sharee’ah (Islaamic law). How was Salman Rushdie treated and how is Kareem Amer being treated now? For the dissident, there is much sacrifice. And sometimes, we literally are the sacrificed! When told of a Muslim that had recently left Islaam, the Prophet Muhammad responded with “kill him.”
This blog has exceeded my expectations and has fulfilled many of the initiatives I’ve set out. However, the reality of the situation is that an apostate discards his/her religion for a reason. Whether it be for a newfound religion or ideology, most ex-Muslims gradually disappear into anonymity. Likewise, my calling is elsewhere as I have the opportunity to make a greater difference far afield. Challenging the fascists in the Muslim world is a great cause. A reformation of the Islaamic religion is only possible from within by, and not without, ardent Muslims who believe in Allaah, His Last Prophet, and a perfect Qur’aanic text. I will continue someway to work in coalition for human rights in the Muslim world and be of at least some service to the ex-Muslim community. With my minimal accomplishments as an apostate, I desire to journey forward and leave Islaam behind.
Ma’asalaamah.
Abdul-Quddus
I dedicate this website to my sisters in Islaam.
Fantastic blog and quotes. Thanks.
I find your writing bizarre in that you speak as someone still on the faith.
I don’t believe your search is over, nor your curiosity satisfied. You seem a vicitm of rationalisation and a picture of Islam bereft of spirituality and the Truth. The image of ‘god’ that you have concluded from Islam is so far from Reality, and perhaps if you would ask to understand you may yet find the peace and satisfaction of Knowing the Divine.
I am, of course, like any other Muslim, going to say you are mistaken. )
And what a totally bizarre concept to wear a name of servitude to Allah whilst proclaiming to have turned your back. My dear, you are full of contradiction, and so how will you see anything other than this unless you step outside of yourself and ask those who know.
Please take your questions of science and quran specifically to sunnipath.com and see your inadequacy as a giver of tafsir.
May there be some part of you still turned towards Allah that He may set you straight and heal you entirely. amin.
wa la hawla wa la quwwatta illa billa.
My prayer for you is that you come to the knowledge and faith in Jesus Christ the only begotten son of God. He changed my life in an instant and he can do that for you and you definitely know that you are bound for heaven. When you accept Him into your life you will definitely know you have been touched by God the Father and no one I repeat no one can take that experience and knowledge and peace from you. I have seen this miracle happen to all manner of people and from all walks of life.r.p.
(I will not greet you with Assalamu a’laikum as you are not eligible)
Abdul Quddus, May the Almighty Allah swt bless you by guiding to the way of Jannah. Insha Allah we’ll meet soon.
Rehan syed.
“Welcome to KHALAS! My name is Abdul-Quddus and I’m a former Islamic fundamentalist turned born-again atheist. In the summer of 2004, I abandoned Islaam as my religion. I testify that there is no deity worthy of worship and that Muhammad is not my messenger.”
The curse of humanity is that it keeps on jumping from one certainty to another. I was Muslim, dead certain about Allah and all that. I see it not satisfying my intellect, and it’s bizzare rituals are self contradictory (as would be of any religion), so I testify there is no God and Mohammad is not my messenger. Outwardly looks great. But what has happened to the mind in the meantime? Has anything happened? Has it not operated in the same groove of certainty, only the details have changed. Is it not operating in the same mould now. Previously it was condemning infidels, now it is against fundamentalist. What it is now, is essentially the same mind, only reacting against the old details. And the mind which is moving from one certainty to another can always change the patterns. Once it sees the limitation of atheistic liberal society, it will once again be born again Muslim or Christian. Of course now, you can see that liberal society is free of all limitations, but that is just opinion.
And in all these certainties, the extraordinary reality, the mystery of it remains waiting to be explored. All it demands is to live with it, and not live in words and certainties.
It is remarkable to walk out of organized religions, the dogmas, the words. But it is important to ensure that mind does not get caught up in another certainties or words, and come face to face with that which we call life, existence, without the shield of words, without the mediation of organized religion- and Mohmmad is my prophet or MOhammad is not my prophet are both words. Equally fallacious are the ways of other who would be like wolves try to claim your soul, and so will be atheists. It is another thing to remain with fire of inquiry, never settling down for anything, forever remaining alert to wipe out every influence which countless humans will be very eager to heap upon.
Once you left this religion, then leave it yourself, change your name into Kaafir name, live as Kaafirs, for you your religion, for us our religion..Allah has taught us what to tell to Kaafirs in surat Al-Kafiruun (Quran: 109)
May Allah save us from such people like you.
My god doesn’t this upset people to hear someone speak about their own expieriences!
I am also a deconverted-converter or murtad as you might also know it. I’m 22, a female with kids and am running from an extremist husband who doesn’t know I have committed the ultimate shirk yet. Like you I am grieving for my islam although I must say I am also rejoycing in my new-found freedom! The thing I miss about islam is the brainlessness I guess of having everything set out in order – pray now, walk like this, eat like that blah blah blah and the feeling of being close to allah… now I don’t know what to do with myself as I still get urges to worry about burning forever in jehannam for all of my sins. Thanks for telling us your story, you are truly a lightpost in the darkness for me,
anonymous
btw – are you still keeping your murtadeenism a secret from those around you or have you come out of the closet so to speak?
This guy is a complete joker who never understood what it is to be a muslim and comes to conclusion by looking at how some mulsims are living.
Dear friend, being born on earth gets us the right to know who we are ? And this thirst can only be quenched by knowledge. Real wisdom lies in knowledge. Religion can be something that can be created but truth and knowledge can not be created and they exist eternally. God is the source to everything in the same way an ocean is the source of water and same water we find in tiny berries, in all vegetables, in all animal life and as well in rocks etc , in air and almost everywhere. that water is present in you too. In the same way God is present in everything and in you too as well. One does not have to become some one or embrace some thing or go some where or learn some special languages to understand or to know HIM, The Your True Self. Any try in this regard is just a step in the direction that concretes the thought that what you believe in is not omnipotent and omniscient as well.
Truth can not come to someone standing on a particular plateform. Dissociate yourself from all those identities and when one is without any one of these, knowledge starts sprouting. On the contrary on earth we run for identities and these identites work as veil to our truest only identity.
Get lost you kaafir
Sorry the top half of the previous post was lost
but here is a site of interest
http://www.pantheon.org/articles/a/allah.html
You have claimed that you converted to Islam after realizing that it’s the True religion. Then you somehow realized that it’s a false religion and left Islam. That’s fair enough. No one is forcing you to stay in Islam (2:256). However, it seems like you have waged crusade against Islam. Not only that, the right-hand column of your site is full of Christian Missionaries propaganda against Islam and Muslims. So, I doubt you ever converted to Islam in the first place.
I can not give my email address. I litterally have renounced my faith only last night to my son, who is happy for my decision to think for myself.
I have been a revert for so very long. I have litterally lost my mind, and am trying to understand how in the name of God I could have lost my common sense to this religion/cult. Trust me I am by no means a docile woman.
As an African American woman, Islam seems that it is the way to complete racial liberation and then the fact that it creates a sense of superiority to others. -Women who don’t cover are loose and basically whores whose main desire is to seduce men and yes the birthplace of my home the West is so tarnished with its backward freedoms…I have all bought the Islamic ideologies hook line and sinker and did not question if I could get a return if it was defunct.
I feel sorry for my sisters who I know have been abused by husbands some with notable husbands of the deen…I find the polygamy case to be the most mentally abuse way to get a woman to feel less than and unworthy. -I am still choking on when my husband said he would get so many virgins in paradise and I would be there to still serve him – amazing I can now be there to watch you have your way with other women…but I was told that jealousy would be a thing of the past because jealousy and all of those other things would not be in the jennah.
I have been through the many sects of Islam beginning with the WD Mohammad community and then since that was not the “pure Al-Islam” I unknowingly came to As-Sunnah Al Salaaf. Litterally suffering but thinking this was my plight. I am hurting I am sad, confused, betrayed…simply I am angry…and then to top it off I feel guilty like I’m going to suffer in the hellfire for this.
If Allah does exist I ask for a pardon and I hope someplace in my heart…simply for freedom.
Take care all,
A former woman in Al-Islam
New York, NY