I Left Islam

16 03 2007

Journey Through Islam
The testimony of a former convert to Islam
By: Abdul-Quddus

I’m often asked, despite knowing the pros and cons of Islaam, why would a Westerner embrace a religion they hated? Though surrounded by believers, while growing up as a child, I was essentially an agnostic. I pondered that, if this Creator actually existed, an unbiased investigation was needed to discover who He was and what He wanted from me. The following testimony is a trustworthy account of a journey through Islaam.

I was raised by non-practicing Christians who immigrated to Canada from an anonymous country near the Caribbean. In the beginning, our family would occasionally attend Sunday’s church services. However, my mother later realized that her husband’s inattention and son’s rebellious behaviour during the sermons conveyed an undeniable expression of disbelief. Considering we had more nominal believers in the household, our church visits as a family unit slowly withered and then finally ended abruptly.

To my adolescent mind, the deity of the Judeo-Christian faith baffled me. I would curse the Biblical God, who although was once supposedly involved in human affairs, for now being idle during all the injustice and suffering I saw rampant in my world. However, following the blasphemous utterance, I’d immediately reprimand myself. To battle my agnosticism, during age twelve, my parents gave permission for the public school to have myself proselytized to by a Christian minister. In an experiment that would likely be illegal today within public school walls, a few other parents consented and we children were in the library being handed a red book labeled ‘The New Testament’. This book I would soon abuse with a black-ink marker with obscenities and my scissors. Without any guidance or education, I was left confused about God, albeit, the Judeo-Christian interpretation of the being.

Beside from my almost quasi-religious upbringing, early in my youth I had close contact with a conservative Christian family that would subsequently influence my behaviour and thinking. One of their boys was my age and I would never find a closer companion and friend in life like him. Originally from Newfoundland, the father was a minister and both husband and wife had a zealous demeanor towards their sons. To my shock, even uttering “damn” in their home was reprehensible and would bring chastisement. The mother always fed me as if I were her visiting nephew, even though we were not related by blood. Aside from my immediate family, from these people I perceived love and friendship. Although disciplined and strict, the warmth and compassion received from this God-fearing family I would consider ideal and exemplary in a world void of.

As a teenager, an encounter with a Jehovah’s Witness introduced me to another kind of believer. While waiting at a bus-stop, standing beside myself was a woman who suddenly began preaching to me from her copy of the Bible. Throughout the pages, her penned notes around the verses, which accumulated over the years, caught my interest. In order to approach a complete stranger in this manner, she must surely have believed in her religion, I thought. The sense of purpose and spiritual fulfillment she seemed to receive from her religious practice would plant a seed on my own spiritual path.

During my mid-teenage high school years, I developed a severe clinical depression that would endure for many years affecting my religious perspective. My social and academic life became strained and eventually I found myself dropping-out of high schools repeatedly. During one early morning, I came across Nightlite Live, a call-in television show about prayer, repentance, and salvation. The messages of hope from the counsellors were candy for the downtrodden folk and I would frequently view the program. I resonated with the despondent callers. This Christian-owned television station CTS was balanced and tolerant enough to allot program space for other religions faiths in order to reach their adherents. The hope I was receiving from these Christian ministers watered that planted seed given earlier by the Jehovah’s Witness preacher. My clinical depression would become propellant for a now unequivocal spiritual endeavour.

Browsing through a CD-ROM encyclopedia, I came across the section on ‘Religion’ and would gravitate towards the entries on Buddhism. The biographies of the world’s religious figures was a favourite read but I then attempted to educate myself on doctrine and theology. An upbringing of Christianity could not motivate me, however, the gnostic perspective on the Gospel almost renewed a passion for Christ. The Baha’i Faith, being fairly new compared to other organized religions, was difficult to view as anything but a cult eclectically borrowing from a multitude of sources. The idea of a direct and transcribed communication with God, along with a photograph of the Arabic verses, ignited an interest in Islaam but my agnostic mindset squashed it within days. Hinduism offered nothing that Buddhism couldn’t deliver and, to my knowledge, even absorbed many elements of Buddhism. From the outside, Sikhism appeared steeply cultural and as a hybridization of Hinduism and Islaam. Daoism intrigued me for a brief period, but I later discarded the philosophy because it seemed to lack direction and purpose. From a comparative analysis of the world religions, the path of Buddhism and it’s founder resonated with me deeply and seemed closest to an absolute truth I’ve been searching for.

I would return to the character of Siddhartha Gautama, who I resonated with personally. According to my comprehension, his character was impeccably ideal and his dispensation faultlessly moral and rational. Buddhism had profound wisdom, encouraged independent thinking, discouraged blind faith, was not exclusive but inclusive for all humankind, and could be practiced without the superstitious beliefs abound in other religions. With an agnostic and/or atheistic temperament, and a leaning towards scientific inquiry than blind faith, Buddhism seemed befitting. Influenced by my discoveries in the encyclopedia, I would pursue a devout Buddhist practice that would last six years.

However, for reasons and causes unbeknownst to me then, the Buddhist practice that once filled my life with meaning and purpose would meet with disenchantment. I would perform quadrupled fasts each month for uposatha, an occasion dedicated for intense discipline, doctrinal study, chanting and reflection. The duration of each fast spanned from noon until the next day, with a break in between for plain tea. Although most Buddhists partaking in this observance would be at the temple, I eventually chose the confines of my bedroom in isolation. My withdrawal from public life and anti-social behaviour would be the result stemming from a surging illness of clinical depression. The total lack of guidance from engaging mentors, and sole reliance on inanimate books for my religion stifled my inspiration and I began to experience disenchantment.

In retrospect, if it were not for a family member converting to Islaam, I would likely have not embraced it myself. Having a lost loved one unanticipatedly reappear and noticeably dedicated to this Arab “cult” would spark my curiosity. Recent terrorist campaigns overseas by Muslim extremists were escalating and the need to understand the Muslim perspective was paramount. My obligation to reconnect with my sibling would contribute Islaam to affect my own religious experience.

Out of curiosity of Muslims, belief in Islaam, and fear of Allaah, I considered the process of converting to Islaam to become Muslim. Beforehand, I’d been a mild opponent of Abrahamic religions. After an exigent probing of Islamic websites, inconceivably, I was mesmerized. Islaam wasn’t a cult, but a rich faith tradition that rivalled all others. I highly regarded the comradeship of the ummah (Muslim community), clarity of the Qur’aanic text, and simplicity of the religion for the adherent. I brought myself to open the Qur’aan, beginning with page numeral uno, Soorah al-Faatihah. Islaam seemed created in a competently organized fashion. Allaah (Arabic; lit. The God) was distinguishably one and without partnership. Understandably, all those sincerely contemplating on converting to Islaam have already accepted theism over atheism. The primary attraction to Islaam was not in geometric Arabesque art, Islaamic-inspired calligraphy and architecture, the constant argumentatious fights over Middle Eastern politics, nor the latest innovative model of hookah. No question about it, on the minds of all sincere converts to Islaam was tawheed (monotheism, affirmation of the Oneness and Uniqueness of Allaah).

In the past, I had encountered some uncompromising critics who vigorously presented explosive accusations on Islaam and the character of Prophet Muhammad. I was not unfamiliar with the charges of pedophilia, genocide, thievery, rape, and murder. Supposedly, Islaam was a barbaric cult stuck in seventh-century Arabia bereft of human rights and with a disavowal for advancement. Initially, as a kaafir (unbeliever), I had accepted some of the charges as true and was perhaps an “Islamophobe.” However, once I held a belief in Allaah and an admiration for Islaam, any propaganda or criticism could easily be dismissed as an undertaking to discredit the religion. I bared in mind that all organized religions harboured objectionable and disagreeable content, at least in the eyes of some. I was given a sanitized version of Islaam by moderate Muslims and read merely segments of the Qur’aan in English translation. Naturally, I felt compelled to fully trust the Muslims’ explanations since a selected few had the monopoly on this Arabic revelation from God. I decided to reject any subconscious Islamophobic mentality, ignore all anti-Islaamic subject matter, and solely submit myself to brainwashing

Despite having close friendships with Muslims, my initial exposure to Islaamic subjects was via cable television. Airing on VisionTV, a nationwide Canadian multifaith and multicultural television network was a program called ‘Journey Through Islam’. Using material from the Islamic Information Service (IIS) based in California, this one-hour show featured conversion testimonials, documentries, interviews with scholars and thinkers (Maher Hathout, Muhammad Asad, Muzammil Siddiqi, Jamal Badawi, John Esposito, Yusuf Estes, Yusuf Islam, Hamza Yusuf, etc.), and snippets from Harun Yahya’s cunning videos on Creationism. Another program was ‘Let The Qur’an Speak’ by Shabir Ally which featured mostly Qur’aanic lectures and interviews. ‘Reflections on Islam’ by Ezz E. Gad and ‘Call of the Minaret’ by Steve Rockwell also were influential to my indoctrination. Besides the wealth of Islaamic programs on VisionTV, the Christian CTS network aired ‘Islam Today’ with host Bashir Khan and ‘The Muslim Chronicle’ hosted by Tarek Fatah. Both programs featured local interviews, documentaries and educational material. With this wealth of Islaamic education, my heart and mind was won.

But by far, the most stimulating and persuasive piece of all was footage of a talk (titled: ‘Glorious Qur’an, The Liberator’) delivered in 1987 by Yusuf Islam (formerly the pop singer Cat Stevens) at the University of Houston wherein he spoke of the Prophets and their struggle to present the same revelation to mankind. With a pointed index finger and green Qur’aan in hand, he spoke with profound meaning, contentment, spirit, composure and enlightenment. His gift left me in awe and craving what a billion Muslims possessed; a sense of purpose.

With assistance from cunning Muslim proselytizers, I deprogrammed my acquired beliefs and swallowed the da’waganda. After one converts and embraces this religion, all previous sins will be blotted out. Even the name ‘Islaam’ (submission, to the will of God) seemed truthful and posed actual meaning; the other religions were either named after a man or tribe. Apparently, the Jews were strict monotheists but had rejected Jesus, while the Christians accepted Jesus but then rejected Muhammad. At the time, Islaam seemed a sure option as “Judaism was for Jews” and Christianity had the “polytheistic” Trinity. One common point delivered repeatedly to me was how only in Islaam had a revelation been absolutely preserved in its original language uncorrupted. No brilliant criticisms of Buddhism were given; no Muslims knew what the Buddha actually taught. As I became increasingly impressed with the Islaamic position on theism, Buddhism seemed odd with its absence of an omnipotent Creator God and obscure purpose for man’s existence. I saw the superb design pervasive throughout creationism that pointed to a higher intelligence. Coupled with clinical depression and a loss of conviction, I became disillusioned with Buddhism. Vegetarianism became too strenuous to endure. If Allaah willed meat for our consumption, and I disagreed by being a vegetarian, it would put me with the munafiqeen (hypocrites) since I would be protesting to have more knowledge than Allaah al-Hakeem (the Most Wise). With Islaam, I could return to succulent meat-eating dinners and abandon my daunting dream of becoming a monk. However, now that I was admonished with threats by al-Qur’aan, I was fearing Hellfire for believing yet denying the revelation simultaneously.

Harbouring an aversion for a decadent Judaeo-Christian modernity, believers born into Christianity began to search for meaning elsewhere. The prevailing vehicles facilitative to escaping a sinking Western society were usually Buddhism, Islaam, and secular humanism. Islaam, “the fastest growing religion,” was an ubiquitous mantra. The vast majority considered converting to Islaam following a relationship with a Muslim. When an empathetic accord with a Muslim peer ensued, exposure to Islaam increased in addition to curiosity while submerging into a foreign culture. The media’s popular portrayal of Islaam would be contradictory with a first-hand experience with Muslims. Western society seemed to degrade women as exploitable objects while Islaam offered a woman security and respect. When juxtaposed to our Christian environment, adherents to Islaam exhibited uppermost consciousness of God; they appeared pietistic to the halaal (permissible) and apathetic to the haraam (impermissible). The foremost decisive factor captivating soul searchers to Islaam was aversion for and disillusionment with the West or dunyaa (this temporal world, as opposed to the Hereafter).

While home alone contemplating and pacing repeatedly back and forth, I sensed my existence in jeopardy and so decided to plunge into Islaam wholeheartedly. I rode my bicycle to the local masjid (mosque) with the ulterior motive of requesting books. The Islaamic building was a fortress, surrounded by concrete and brick walls and metal gates. Since the main entrance was sealed off by a barrier, I attempted to access the masjid through the car entrance. The building’s rear had an entrance for “Sisters Only” so I ran away with lightening speed. Through another entrance, I wandered about searching for the masjid office. Inside that office, while looking at the security-camera monitors, I awaited assistance while noticing the unclean and disorganized mess. A middle-aged committee member approached me, a man that would later order me to come to the masjid everyday. I received some moderate Islaamic material and a Yusuf Ali translated Qur’aan. Out of fear of Hellfire, and with a growing belief in Islaam, I confessed that I wanted to say the shahaadah (declaration of faith). It was either during ‘Asr (mid-afternoon) or Maghrib (sunset) prayer that I sat on the floor and viewed the men prostrate in prayer. Just as the speaker announced a statement, someone grabbed my hand and then guided me to the front. The Pakistani imaam asked if anyone was forcing me to convert, to which I replied negative. He recited with me, in Arabic and English, the shahaadah (declaration of faith – “There is no deity but Allaah, Muhammad is His Messenger”). An individual yelled “Takbeer!” This signalled the congregation to chant “Allaahu akbar!” (Allaah is the Greatest) two more times. A procession formed wherein everyone anticipated to hug the new Muslim. After the ceremony, I felt frightened, extremely drained, and disorientated.

At the end was a fully bearded Muslim in Islaamic wardrobe who asked the committee member of my previous religion. When told of my Buddhist past, he scorned twice, “So he’s a loser? So he’s a loser?” After mocking my conversion, he offered a hug. I later learned that he viewed me as an idolater that could never make it to jannah (paradise). According to al-Qur’aan, Allaah will never forgive shirk (associating partners with Allaah) and “And whoever seeks a religion other than Islaam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers.” (3:85) On my first day as Muslim, even before taking my first steps, I encountered fitnah (trials, tribulations, sedition). The Muslim that chastised me, who was perhaps of the Salafiyoon, never was seen again.

I was led into the masjid office to sign a document testifying to my Islaamic faith, in case I wanted to perform hajj (pilgrimage) and needed verification in Saudi Arabia. Then, I was given a prayer mat, many Islaamic books and Syed Abu-Ala Maududi’s Arabic-English Qur’aan with his famous commentary. This was a totally different ideology given to me before they knew I was “with them” and not simply interested in studying the religion as a kaafir (unbeliever).

My parent’s reaction to the conversion was tolerant, to say the least. After two days as a Muslim, I approached them in our living room and uttered, “Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you. You won’t get angry, will you?” When they said no, I replied, “I’m a Muslim.” The excitement from their faces quickly vanished. Regardless, they responded with tolerance and acceptance, saying, “Are you sure? If it’s what you want, it’s your decision.”

With Islaam my only obligation, the following year after my conversion was devoutly productive. As a high school drop-out without employment, all my energy was dedicated to worship Allaah and learning the deen (religion, way of life). Day and night, I resided at the local masjid. In my Arabic class, the teacher remarked about me, “I’ve never seen anyone learn it this quick.” I grew my beard unshaven like the Prophet, studied the Qur’aan and ahaadeeth, would pay zakaat, give sadaqah, sawm during Ramadaan, walk by foot to the masjid, perform all the fard, sunnah, waajib, nafl, dua’a prayers, and basically do everything right down to Islaamic toiletry etiquette. Successfully, I gave da’wah (missionary activity to invite others to Islaam) and converted people to the religion. My conversion testimony was being read on Islaamic websites. Most reverts were often paraded around as tokens. As trophy Muslims, our conversion to the religion apparently was validation for the insecure Muslims born into the faith that Islaam was true. Before going to sleep, I sincerely yelled, “Ya Allaah (Oh Allaah)! I am a Muslim. Alhamdulillah (Thanks to Allaah), I am safe and secure now. Don’t you dare ever leave the deen, boy! You’re going to jannah (paradise)!”

Over time, certain individuals were introduced to me that changed the course of my journey. Being a revert (convert) and impressionable, I was vulnerable prey and acquainted with predators. After taking shahaadah, I was given many telephone numbers for contacts. The first contact being from a brother named Yusuf eagerly seeking my attendance to reinstate a revert support group dismantled after the founder left the country. I’d encounter numerous brothers attempting to recruit me into their organizations. My hesitation to partake in many activities perhaps saved my life. The claims by brothers who left us for “Arabic studies” or “humanitarian work” overseas caught my suspicion. Some actually went for jihaad; one brother returned very depressed from qitaal (warfare, fighting) in Iraq. Yet, even with all precautions, the dreadable risk of having “tea with terrorists” supervened. When over a dozen Muslims were arrested on terrorism-related charges, we discovered one “suspect” was from my close-knit clique of brothers, passing his house hundreds of times while he plotted using three metric tonnes of ammonium nitrate fertilizer. Reverts were wandering sheep that had to be extra cautious of acquaintances.

The only way for the non-Muslims to consider Islaam was by proving our Qur’aan superseded previous revelations. To establish the immaculacy of the Qur’aan to Christians, it was imperative to expose the fallibility of the Bible. Once the Christian had encountered inconsistencies in the substructure of his faith, he became more open to the possibility of Biblical errancy. Faced with numerous contradictions, the keen recipient would be guided to a more agreeable theology found within the Qur’aan. They knew not Arabic, so we provided selected material to them. In specific cases where Christianity and/or Judaism lacked in subject matter and Islaam had the leeway, I took advantage to prove the superiority of the Islaamic religion and its honor by staying true to the previous revelations with Ibraaheem (Abraham), Moosaa (Moses), or ‘Eesaa ibn Maryam (Jesus, son of Mary). To convince atheists and agnostics, we exposed the loopholes in evolution and modern science, presented the finest examples of Islaamic creationism, and perhaps mock their presumption of the universe existing merely by chance. Once the non-Muslim was eagerly reading the Qur’aan and Islaamic material, I would present Muhammad as a prophet of God no different from the accepted Hebrew prophets. Guilt and fear were common tactics used to pressure the conversion process. Just as the Jews denied Jesus, so did I admonish the Christian for rejecting Muhammad. If they recognized monotheism and Muhammad, I seized the opportunity by recommending the individual to embrace Islaam and take the shahaadah (declaration of faith – There is no deity but Allaah, Muhammad is His Messenger).

As I gained experience as a Muslim, I sought a more literal interpretation of Islaam closer to the pristine deen of Prophet Muhammad. Without equivocation, the notorious “Yusuf Ali” Qur’aan was a translation that pandered to Western liberal values attempting to lure non-Muslims to Islaam. Although I used Syed Abu-Ala Maududi’s Qur’aanic commentary as a reference, I closely adhered to Muhammad Taqi-ud-Din Al-Hilali and Muhammad Muhsin Khan’s translated work ‘The Noble Qur’aan’ which offered a summarized version including the efforts of At-Tabari, Al-Qurtubi, Ibn Kathir, and Al-Bukhari. Tasawwuf (Sufism) and modern progressive movements conniving to reform Islaam were not considered the real McCoy for they presented serious drawbacks and discrepancies that revealed an intentional divergence from Sunnah (the sanctioned practices, sayings, or actions of Prophet Muhammad). The Saudi-based movement of Salafiyyah, heavily influenced by ibn Taymiyyah’s call to renounce innovation and return to the genuine Islaam, seemed to be a viable option. However, concluding that being “Muslim” was sufficient, I rejected any labels of sectarianism that would consequently divide the Islaamic ummah.

Guidance and companionship from my brothers in Islaam gave me a sense of belonging. Being a “revert” signified the reversion to a state of fitrah (the inherently pure disposition a being was created with). Everyone adopted an Islaamic first name, shunned music, and only ate halaal. We new Muslims delightfully welcomed a “brainwashing” since years in kufr (disbelief, ungratefulness to Allaah) left us feeling filthy. An unadulterated Islaam was difficult for the kuffaar (unbelievers) to digest so deviants evidently had a higher success rate in their propagation of Islaam (da’wah) as they modified principles to suit the nafs (carnal self) of recipients. The moderate and sanitized version of Islaam that initially brought me to conversion had to be reassessed. Through the local masjid (mosque), always available was a handshake and anticipated hug. This was a comfort unavailable at home, especially from a mother always unsatisfied with my performance and father unconcerned with my progress. Encouraged by my Muslim brothers, I desired to excel in my religion; possibly get married, master the Arabic language and be a mujaahid (partaker in jihaad) and shaheed (martyr).

We viewed contemporary Muslims as crippled by colonization and far adrift from the straight path. In much insecurity and drifting, I found fundamentalism a perdurable anchor. We romanticized the early generation of “pious predecessors” and sought to capture their vigor by imitation. To revive the Islamic spirit for a fresh renaissance, we propagated a fundamentalist version of Islaam to unite Muslims under one refined but exemplary model. Unislaamic programs such as communism, democracy, socialism, and capitalism were thought as destined for the dustbin. The ideal of freedom was vehemently rejected as implausible, even in a democracy. The latter we ridiculed as “democrazy.” The plan we envisioned was a homologous Islaamic ummah comprised of compliant Muslim nations willing to accept this nostalgic ideology, followed by a pan-Islaamic government. Funded by Arab petroleum sales, this jihaad could be sustained because Muslim countries held approximately 80% of the world’s readily accessible reserves of crude oil. This would enable the restoration of the Khilaafah, and thus usher in a Khaleefah. The military defeat of an emasculated mujaahideen brought about some promising perspective and reformation. Our focus was needed elsewhere, besides Chechnya, Kashmir, Mindanao, Pattani, Palestine, etc. We chose the alternative frontier in jihaad, Islaamic da’wah, to rectify the decadent affair of present-day Muslims. However, from the very get-go, politicized Islaam was a dud that failed to launch. The Salaf (pious predecessors of the first three generations of Muslims) of seventh-century Islaam were far from exemplary and their ummah was riddled by schism and assassinations. With a religion that advocated jihaad and casus belli, it was inevitable to have infighting factions. We had never achieved an Islaamic utopia and, without an appropriate method for reformation of Islaam, the future seemed not promising without a strategic platform to alleviate the plight of Muslims.

With hindsight, I perceive the quintessential factor sustaining my Islaamic faith to be fear. I had buckled under the coercion. After embracing the notion of a Supreme Being, anxiety ensued while receiving admonishment from Allaah’s Book. A substantial amount of aayaat (verses) of the Qur’aan are intimidating threats against your personal well-being. Consequently, after departure from the masjid as a new Muslim, I sensed regret and remorse. By taking precautionary action, I had determined the expected value of submission to Allaah overweighing the value of punishment in Hellfire or emptiness of non-belief. This erroneous and biased wager sought the necessity of considering God for personal convenience, without considering the necessity of truth for the sake of truth itself. There lies Pascal’s Flaw. When emotions took precedence, in dire desperation, I abandoned my most cherished opinions and chose to surrender voluntarily as Allaah’s slave.

Surprisingly, the greatest challenge that threatened my servitude to Allaah came, neither from criticism by Islamophobic orientalists nor polemics by Neo-conservative Christians but, from Muhammad’s holy book itself. Muslims may interpret my doubt as possession by the whispers of Shaytaan (Satan). Prior to my conversion, I had read merely a third of the Qur’aan accompanied by a minuscule amount of ahaadeeth. Since Arabic is foreign to the majority of non-Muslims, conniving proselytizers with impunity can expurgate a compromising interpretation of the Qur’aan. Conceivably, had I examined Islaamic subjects more thoroughly, I likely would have never walked in a mosque, let alone convert. From my sincere study of al-Qur’aan wa Sunnah, at an occurrence when my credence to Islaam and servitude to Allaah was culminating, I would become disillusioned with an apparently incongruous Qur’aanic text.

Once acquainted with a bona fide Islaam, I reevaluated my commitment and questioned whether or not to continue an adherence to the religion. A Muslim eventually stumbles across contestable matter in a Qur’aanic aayah or hadeeth. Paradoxically, we questioning Muslims had to use the very scripture under scrutiny that advises us to seek “the people of knowledge” (16:43), or the ‘Ulamaa (religious-legal scholars) for tafseer (Qur’aanic exegesis or commentary). As one brother put it, you either “believe in it or you don’t.” Now exposed to unadulterated Islaam, I would encounter a crucial test of submission. A decisive decision would follow; whether to blindly believe or independently scrutinize a book “wherein there is no doubt.” (10:37)

The strongest evidence and proof for Islaam was al-Qur’aan (Arabic; lit. the recitation). As Muslims, we spuriously believed Jibreel (archangel Gabriel) was sent by Allaah to bestow the revelations to Prophet Muhammad. In fact, empirically speaking, the Qur’aan definitively disembarked from the vocal cord of Muhammad’s larynx to be heard by his companion’s eardrums. If Muhammad was truly illiterate, without the ability to read nor write, then he couldn’t adequately supervise the written compilation of the Qur’aan nor proofread. Our faith was reliant upon the fallible sahaaba (devoted companions of the Prophet), whom were not scholars, to manufacture the Qur’aan and preserve it. Devastatingly, most of the companions memorizing the Qur’aan were also illiterate and an enormously significant number of companions died in battle, before and after the death of Prophet Muhammad. Although our Qur’aan was transmitted, memorized, and later written by men, I pondered, could it also have been tampered by them in the process? Religion being the machine and believers the automatons, while avoiding the monumental task of thinking hard, many Muslims would ignore any possible inconvenient truths and say, “Allaah knows best.” Instead of a cold-blooded answer, the evasive responses I’d receive from the ‘Ulamaa were unsatisfactory. With the discovery of the Arabic Qur’aanic containing foreign linguistic influence, I doubted the claim of its preservation in “pure Arabic” (16:103). Our Qur’aanic text claimed to be “an exposition of everything” (16:89) and “the Book explained in detail” (6:114). Yet, the actual implementation of Islaam necessitated the assistance of ahaadeeth (narrations, the sayings or doings of Muhammad and his companions). Without a hadeeth, we could not properly perform salaat. Regardless if the creation of al-Qur’aan occured by Allaah or in the confines of Muhammad’s cerebrum or cerebellum, an unbiased exegete would conclude that nothing “new” arrived with seventh-century Islaam. Likewise, we Muslims postulated the Islaamic belief that Islaam had the same message revealed to previous Prophets such as Ibraaheem (Abraham), ‘Eesaa ibn Maryam (Jesus, son of Mary), or Moosaa (Moses), all of whom had the same religion. Truthfully, I found nothing “revealed” by Prophet Muhammad that couldn’t be influenced by or plagiarized from existing sources, especially from the Judeo-Christian tradition (Tanakh, Talmud, New testament, apocryphal works). Everything Islaamic could be traced to pre-Islaamic origins, from theology to pilgrimage rites. Islaam attempted to abolish idolatry when Muhammad, like Ibraaheem (Abraham) who was once an idolator (6:76-78), became disillusioned with idolatrous pagan rituals. Prophet Muhammad beseeched the monotheist deity of the Jewish constituents in the Arabian Peninsula but not without undertaking a reform of their Hebrew religion. Evidently so, Moosaa (Moses), considered the greatest Prophet to the Jews, is the most mentioned Prophet in the Qur’aan. Disdain for the Jewish people permeates throughout al-Qur’aan and ahaadeeth for, when the Jewish people eventually rejected Muhammad as a possible Prophet, he vengefully sought against them in heartache. This is why Islaam harbours considerable disparagement and hatred for the Jews, a people exceptionally monotheist, rather than Christians or Zoroastrians who apparently commit shirk (polytheism, aligning partners with God). With the epiphany that al-Qur’aan was not Allaah’s infallible speech, subsequently, I would approach certain aspects of the religion as man-made.

My expectations of a Supreme Being was in contrast to the conventional god of Prophet Muhammad. I yearned for a deity that was transcendent, incomparable, and an indefinable holy unable to be conceptualized. To my discovery, the Islaamic deity was actually the generic anthropomorphic Sky Father abound in popular mythology. He was afflicted with psychological infirmities such as megalomania, melancholy, and malevolence. Allaah suffered from ambivalence, claiming to be ar-Rahmaan, ar-Raheem (The Most Merciful, The Most Beneficent), while simultaneously being malicious or fastidious. As an omniscient entity, he should have exhibited irrevocable authorship in his scripture, instead of acting capricious by amending and abrogating revelations like a fallible redactor confused about what He should have written initially. On the one hand, there is the incapacity of man to grasp the nature of omnipotent Allaah, yet His Will can be altered by exterior forces such as the affects of human prayers. I could not worship a God that changed. As just another idol, Allaah was depicted and contained in the literary work of al-Qur’aan. According to one hadeeth (Sahih Bukhari: Volume 8, Book 74, Number 246), the Islaamic God created Aadam upon His soorah (form, shape, image), sixty cubits in height. Allaah rested upon His Throne (arsh) near His Footstool (kursi). He claimed to have an Eye (20:39), a Shin (68:42), a Face (55:27), a Foot (Sahih Bukhari: Volume 9, Book 93, Number 541), even both Right and Left Hands (39:67). Surely, there were many “comparable unto Him.” (112:4) Discovering Allaah to be as mythical as the elephant-god Ganesha or temper tantrum Yahweh was a devastating blow to my heart. Relying on tawheed, the initial attraction to Islaam, was ineffectual for I now discerned Allaah as fictitious like the rest of the idols. The god of Islaam, likely just Muhammad’s alter-ego, displayed masculinity, anger, indecision, misogyny, and other moral weaknesses unbefitting of a majestic deity. Between Muhammad and Allaah, there was an uncanny resemblance in personality. Similar to the 1939 musical fantasy film, ‘The Wizard of Oz’, I realized that the Wizard (Allaah) was a fabrication concocted by the man (Muhammad) behind the curtain.

My withdrawal from Islaam occurred suddenly as I studied the Qur’aan and ahaadeeth. The same disillusionment I experienced as Buddhist and Christian began to now emerge while a Muslim. I found it difficult to believe in angels, jinn, or talking trees. My mind clustered with doubts and objections as I raged with discontent. The deity was fictitious and cruel, the founder deplorably barbaric and sinful, the scripture mediocre and uninspired, the laws primitive and unjust. I perceived Muhammad as a fraud and Allaah as his imaginary friend. Instantly, while holding the Qur’aan still open, I slammed the covers shut. I tossed the book across the room and ran downstairs. With two garbage bags, I eagerly erased Islaam from my life. This included every Qur’aan, Arabic course tutorial, hadeeth book, da’wah pamphlet, tape, and paperback book on Islaam into the trash. The texts nearly burst the bags. My prayer rug, favourite woolen kufi caps, thobe, and compass followed next. I stored the garbage in our garage until night in order to dump near a neighbour’s curb for pick-up in the morning. Never had I eagerly renounced an attachment with such certainty and resentment.

When I accepted fundamentalism and uncovered the unadulterated religion of Islaam, I eventually became unimpressed. Besides tawheed, what the religion offered wasn’t much. To the naive, Islaam appeared divine with the hypnotic recitation of the Arabic Qur’aan, captivating Middle-Eastern architecture, and stunning Arabic calligraphy. Our Western culture and Judeo-Christian traditions just paled in comparison. However, just like in art, it only seems creative when the influences and sources are left unknown. Once you uncover the plagiarism, what remains is tediously pedestrian. Reverts from a Christian upbringing, because of their dire hatred for Christianity, were blinded to the core principles as taught by Jesus. The grass seemed greener on the other side. But the reality is, where Christians sought forgiveness for sinners, Muslims sought punishment. Muslims prayed towards an inanimate object (i.e., the Ka’bah at Makkah), while Christians prayed towards the heavens. Ahl us-Sunnah proudly ate on the floor with their hands like animals, while the kuffar used chairs and utensils like rightly guided people. As for the corpus of Islaam, unable to find a shred of originality, I concluded the Qur’aan as the most unoriginal composition in religion. I’ve read beautifully written books without any errors, but that doesn’t mean they’re divine. Judaism was actually more Islaamic than Muhammad’s religion for Yahweh forbid angels and humankind from bowing to creation, whereas Allaah commanded the angels to bow before Aadam. Religion should have man change for God, not vice versa. Allaah would make changes to suit the whims and desires of Muhammad. We reverts were lied to, though none admitted it. Islaam did not mean peace but “submission.” Even those religious groups – the Jews and Christians – which share theological similarities with the Islaamic faith are not to be taken as auliya’ (friends, protectors, helpers). There was a legal hatred for the Jews, fully sanctioned by our scripture. It was a very politicized religion pushing much propaganda. The longer I was Muslim, the more ahaadeeth and less Qur’aanic aayaat we would receive. Sunnah became the obsession as man-made laws and traditions basically replaced Allaah’s revelations.

For an unbiased investigation, I examined the veracity of Islaamic Creationism. Muslims claim that the perfection of “creation” implies intelligent design. According to creationists, certain natural systems are too sophisticated to be adequately explained without help from an intelligent agent. Using their logic, for the sake of my argument, I will claim that Allaah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) al-Mutakabbir (The Supremely Great, The Majestic) is greater than any evidence found in “creation.” The Qur’aan agrees that not everything has a cause. However, since Allaah merely “exists” Himself in arbitrariness, without any given antecedents, given purpose, nor given meaning, so can the universe itself. If the anomalistic existence of Allaah al-Kabeer (The Most Great) can just be without cause, no logical explanation should be required for the lessor entities in the universe such as bacteria, planets, cells, or DNA. This is their logic. Ironically, instead of perhaps concluding that the universe always existed, Muslims create the idol or anomaly of God in partnership with the universe. No longer impartial by blind faith and delusion, I rationally dismissed the Islamic assertion of a Creator in their absence of compelling evidences.

Although the non-zero probability of the existence of God was and will remain present, the same probability exists for gods, ghosts, monsters, and boogie-men. The stated entities have been encountered in every civilization during every time period throughout history. Primitive man once believed everything from trees to rocks contained a spirit. Animism is still practiced today by native populations around the globe. Even the Islaamic tradition has kept a few spirits, such as angels and jinn. Eventually, two spirits remained in mainstream belief, because of atheism. Those two are God and the human soul. No reason surfaced to suggest that Muhammad’s Allaah was any more significant than the other quadrillion gods contrived throughout human history. Like all theists, Prophet Muhammad approached the “chicken or and egg” dilemma by guessing that a motherless chicken once upon a time created everything. The whimsical being of Allaah, the epitome of arbitrariness and fortuitousness, exists superficially and accidentally by chance with no given purpose or meaning. He is the fiction of imaginative hope. The Islaamic understanding conclusively bypasses the probability consideration and boldly begins at a mind-boggling refutable truth: “There is no deity but God.”

Certain rituals and conditions required by Sunnah for the ibaadah (worship) of Allaah actually were a distraction from worship itself. One must be in a purified condition for acts of worship, and to facilitate this, a ritual of purification known as wudoo (partial ablution) or ghusl (full ablution) must be conducted. The wudoo would be rendered nullified if, for example, the Muslim defecated, urinated, bled, fell asleep, or passed gas. Since Sunnah allocated a limited time frame for each of the five prayers, the result would be disastrous. If you completed al-wudoo to begin an obligatory salaah, and suddenly released gas, the entire cleansing ritual had to be redone. This entailed getting semi-undressed, making niyyah (intention), doing recitations (e.g., bismillah, shahaahah), washing the face, neck, arms, head, nasal cavity, mouth, ears, feet, including the repetition of each act three times. By desperately undertaking to postpone flatulence and the call of nature, during prayer, a worshipper would experience consciousness of one’s own bowel movements, rather than consciousness of God. Instead of praying to God alone, we Muslims were submitting to the automatic prayers constituted by mere men. During worship in jamaa’ah (congregation), especially for ‘Eid or Jumu’ah salaat, you had to prostrate behind men. This position gave one a view of the carpet below, the masculine buttocks of the worshipper in front, or the holes in his socks. For any heterosexual revert, this was an uncomfortable predicament. Truthfully said, for this reason is why brothers came early to reserve a spot in the front row. If a Muslimah was allowed in the masjid, she’d unfortunately be behind a man’s behind or in an enclosed section separated by a screen. Islaam was vehemently against idolatry, yet when we Muslims performed salaat, there was always a figure before us. And if you traveled to Makkah following the qiblah (direction of worship), you’d discover Muslims prostrating, touching, caressing, and even kissing the Ka’bah. During hajj (pilgrimage) at Mina, hundreds would be killed and thousands injured following the idolatrous ritual known as the “stoning of the devil.” Al-Jamaraat, the three symbols representing the devil, have been since renovated into 26-metre-long walls in the hopes that more Muslims don’t die trying to make an impression on the idols. The Arabic Qur’aan, believed to be incarcerated Truth and the literal speech of Allaah, also became an idol for Muslims. With washed hands, we held our Holy Book and many would actually kiss it. For Christians, Jesus was the Word of God made flesh, while Muslims held the Qur’aan as the Word of God made text. I questioned the necessity of prayers and Qur’aanic recitation being reserved only in Arabic, simply for the “pleasure of Allaah.” Clearly, we were following traditions for the sake of Arab supremacy. Most Muslims were not fluent in Arabic, so instead of reaping the benefits in our native languages, we recited in a foreign tongue what many could neither articulate with nor understand. If Allaah was omnipotent, he could understand English. In Islaam, instead of being Muslim for Allaah, we had to become Arab to be Muslim.

The Islamic world was a catastrophe for we Muslims were unable to reconcile the discrepancies in our religion, the bedrock of all predominantly Muslim states. In the Qur’aan, particular Madinan revelations conflicted with Makkan ones. Our foundation was an incomplete sacred text quite ambiguous, inconsistent, and without chronological order. With the Qur’aan lacking proper substance to be a constitution for a civilization, we implored man-made ahaadeeth to help a divine revelation. Although this combination provided substance to implement Sharee’ah (Islaamic law), it brought more discrepancies into the religion. According to the Qur’aan, all men and women are born in a state of fitrah as Muslims. However, the Sunnah demands the adhaan (call to prayer) and shahaadah to be yelled into our infant’s ears at birth. While the Qur’aan commanded worship in “neither aloud nor in a low voice,” (17:110) Sunnah instructed a Muslim to scream at pedestrians the adhaan (call to prayer) from the top of buildings. Allaah’s Creation is perfect, but Sunnah mandates that Muslim infants should be corrected with circumcision. The Qur’aan says to make no distinction between the Prophets, yet, the hadeeth-inspired Islaam with “Allaah and His Messenger” was awfully similar to the “Father and His Son” in Christianity. Islaam has elevated the Prophet Muhammad to an infallible hero with almost godlike status. However, when Allaah commanded fifty prayers a day in the night of al-Israa’ and Mi’raaj, Muhammad could not “submit” and disobediently sought to reduce the amount repeatedly until it was down to five. Women could legally have no more than one husband, while the Prophet Muhammad could and did have several in one day. Allaah created everything perfect, especially the Qur’aan which is considered to be the ultimate miracle (17:88) proving Islaam by containing aayaat (signs, verses, proofs, evidences, miracles). Non-Muslims who doubt the Qur’aan are challenged by Allaah to produce a soorah like it (2:23). Yet, throughout Muhammad’s prophetic career, Allaah would abrogate verses to “substitute one revelation for another” (2:106, 16:101) as if the “Truth” needed correction. He claimed throughout the Qur’aan to be the “The Most Merciful” and “The Most Beneficent” while simultaneously threatening man in detail the prepared punishments and tortures awaiting him in Hellfire. Although the Qur’aan claimed to be the “best hadeeth” (39:23) and contained Sunnah, fundamentalists were not satisfied with the Qur’aan. Indeed, they abandoned the Qur’aan in the process as the Prophet Muhammad said of his people (25:30). With such inconsistencies, no wonder a schism in the Islamic ummah occurred immediately after the Prophet’s funeral.

The evolution and behaviour of a Muslim revert has always been predictable. Soofiyyah (Sufism) was what attracted the ample majority of today’s converts. In fact, without a military conquest by the sword, this has basically been the endorsed ideology for the amicable expansions of Islaam. Indeed, Islaam wasn’t completely spread by the sword but was welcomed by many. However, to be downright and straightforward, Sufism isn’t Islaam but a deviation from it. Tasawwuf or Soofiyyah ingratiated Islaam to the kaafir by accommodating a rigid theology into a compromising spiritual mysticism. Islaam almost took the backseat for some individuals. Instead of pursuing the Muslim identity, many reverts would become obsessed with their Arab wardrobe, the Arab language, and Arab politics. If they converted in a predominantly South Asian neighbourhood, you’d notice the reverts mimicking desi culture in an attempt to assimilate. It’s a daunting task, especially for Muslims, to rectify the confusion of Islaam with culture and culture with Islaam. From firsthand experience, I’d generously estimate that merely a quarter of all converts actually remain Muslim by their first year. Oftentimes, a serious revert would exhaust him/herself to the point of burn-out and would slowly disappear into apostasy. The latter individuals were never spoken of as we ignored anything that could possibly jeopardize eemaan (faith) and taqwaa (piety, fear of Allaah). Judging by their facial expression and physical posture, I could differentiate between a now moderate Muslim and a timid apostate trying to go undetected. Those Mu’minoon (faithful believers) that actually kept their Islaam, now keen on fundamentalism, eventually disowned their native culture and decidedly lived and dressed as seventh century Arabian Muslims, even in a North American metropolitan city. The first turban I actually saw was on a Canadian, a Caucasian convert trying desperately hard to “be one” with his Pakistani congregation. These particular reverts – ripe for a picking by the Salafiyoon – would willingly yearn for a strict adherence to the fundamentals of Islam. As reverts, readily dupable and persuadable, our dependence and submission was crucial for a successful brainwashing.

Reverts to Islaam, ever so gullible and naive, were easily susceptible to the prevalent dysfunctional behaviours and propaganda infecting most Muslim societies. By striving to not conform with the kuffaar, we duly had to be ignorant by circumnavigating anything unislamic. We believed, if a Muslim concealed the faults of another in this world, his own faults would be concealed by Allaah on the Day (i.e., Day of Resurrection). One revert declared that Usama bin Laden was better than “a million George Bushes” and “a thousand Tony Blairs” simply because he’s a “Muslim”. Arrogantly speaking, we Muslims were “the best of peoples ever raised up for mankind.” (3:110) So when an atrocity occurred that was obviously committed by Muslims in the name of Allaah, my fellow brothers and sisters were complacent. We obsequiously forsook the human rights violations in Muslim countries, even when the victims were Muslims. The conspiracy theories widespread in my Muslim society were outright delusion. Not even the moderate Muslims, who neglected salaat and committed zinaa (illegal sex; fornication, adultery, etc.), could accept the Muslim identities of the 9/11 pilots. As my Afghani classmate remarked, “It was the Jews!” When the opportunity arose for self-criticism, inevitably, we instead blamed the Jews, our favourite scapegoat. Homogenizing oneself into the Islaamic ummah was ostensibly clinched if one supported the latest Arab-Muslim agenda, grew an outstanding beard, abstained from using beads during tasbeeh, expressed hatred for the Jews, uttered the word “bid’ah” occasionally, and repudiated the modern state of Israel. We proudly acknowledged the jihaad, yet acted stupid if questioned by a kaafir and responded to their accusations with, for example, “How do you know it was done by Muslims? Where is the evidence?” Although they were not blind to the videotaped confessions by boasting Muslim terrorists, they chose to be. Not all Muslims were terrorists, although it was unequivocally but agonizingly true that most terrorists were Muslims. Sunni Muslims, to be exact. If some Americans or Jews died, there was sympathetic joy and I observed this particular behaviour genially absorbed by one Muslimah just five years old. Reverts hopelessly adopted a rigid interpretation of Islam taught by immigrants from oppressive theocracies that incarcerated ijtihaad to keep freethinking and dissent criminal and their rule immutable.

The greatest threat to dogmatism is doubt because thinking leads to kufr (disbelief). Islaam thought for us. My classmate Mohammed once said, “You know what your problem is? You think too much!” Ironically, freethinking and open-mindedness brought me to tolerate their da’wah and convert. I embraced Islaam and gave Allaah my undivided worship. But because I now kindly disagree, Islaamic scholars say I should be killed. Even moderate Muslims living in the West concede with my death sentence. All Muslims encountered aayaat and ahaadeeth too unpalatable to digest. Did submission (Islaam) mean accepting not just everything, but anything? I realized that I could not be a muqallid (follower who imitates another blindly and unquestioningly). I found it deplorable that Muhammad, a man over fifty years of age, married six year-old ‘Aishah and then consummated the marriage when she was nine. His hatred for the Jews rivaled the antisemitism of Adolf Hitler. The Prophet, supposedly guided by God, did not abolish slavery but actually possessed slaves. He waged systematic campaigns to exterminate opponents. I came from a civilization where murder was considered, believe it or not, wrong? I had to draw the line somewhere. Yielding to fundamentals and authority is a legitimate endeavour, while fundamentalism and authoritarianism is not.

In the pursuit of a strict monotheistic belief system, I incidently had accepted the irrational and illogical along with the absurd. In the process of wishful thinking, we fell into willful delusion. As blindly obedient slaves of Allaah, resultantly, believers became subdued as mentally comatose Islamobots without the ability to doubt, question, or scrutinize. This dogmatic approach by theists favoured delusion and coercion that intentionally set believers as sheep to be led by shepherds into justifying anything they so desired (e.g., Jonestown by Jim Jones, 9/11 by Khalid Sheikh Mohammed). We harboured the delusion that Islaam was perfect, while Muslims just did not live up to Islaam. We had to agree with the inferiority of women, the amputation of the hand for thieves, and antisemitic hatred of the Jews. There was stoning of women and animal sacrifices. Even the incentives of Islaam were ignoble. Paradise, an apparent Club Med in the sky, contained earthly sensuality and materialism catering to primitive man, such as numerous women, wine, and couches. A married Muslimah would spend eternity attending her husband as he titillated with numerous women in bed. A sensible man should expect better treatment for his wife (i.e., an equal human being that is someone’s daughter, sister, or mother). No progressive interpretation of such scripture could hide the ignominiousness. Although the Qur’aan alone was a revelation unto itself, to deny a saheeh hadeeth was an intellectual cop-out. One had to simultaneously obey Allaah and the Rasool (messenger), without bias to sound evidence. Reason can exist, but so long as its conclusions conflict not with the institutionalized logic frozen in seventh-century Islaamic orthodoxy. To be a Muslim, one had to absolutely relinquish heterodoxy, as the name of the game is literally “submission” (Islaam). No Muslim could rationally reform a religion that had been “perfected” (5:3) by an omniscient and omnipotent God. I realized that Islaam could likely not be reformed.

Surprisingly, even as an apostate of Islaam, I contemplated on reverting back to the religion on numerous of occasions. To outsiders, Islaam was an unfashionable and demanding faith tradition to adopt. However, contrary to most apostates, I view my experience with Islam as a blessing. I enjoyed the obligations and would establish my salaah regardless if I was under a staircase in a busy subway terminal or outdoors bracing the elements. I immensely miss fajr (dawn) salaah and cleansing myself by wudhoo (ablution), a reinvigorating ritual leaving your body, heart, mind, and soul in rejuvenation. Never had I felt so pure. Islaam was intentionally my chosen faith out of sincere submission to God, not for conniving to woo a Muslimah or it being adopted by my forefathers as my birthright. Only with the Qur’aan could I facilitate a belief in God. There seems to exist a religiosity innate in man, including the atheist. Considerably, Allaah proved to be a comforting solace, though one day I contemplated on why none of my modest supplications had ever been answered. And I begged Allaah (swt) to keep me Muslim. If I could sustain the belief in Allaah, I would remain Muslim and try to courageously reform Islaam from the clutches of fascists. Eventually, I accepted the fact that I was plagued with doubt from the veritable onset. Although once again skeptical of religion, I continued to uphold ethics and ideals such as pacifism and vegetarianism. I had faith, just not in a particular god or religion and held my quintessential identity to be as ex-Muslim. No longer a Muslim, life now was a vacuum and I knew Islaam could never fill that void.

As an apostate of Islaam, similar to all dissidents, I keep my views hidden. But on one occassion, I confessed about my apostasy and opinions to one Muslim and was almost physically assaulted. Living with fundamentalist Muslims certainly made for a tense situation. For safety reasons, I kept up appearances and preferred to pose as a nominal or nonpracticing Muslim instead of an apostate. As an atheist, I view all religions as man-made institutions. Unfortunately, due to inadequate evidence, I’d concede the existence of God as highly unlikely. Most definitely, this “God” described in all world religions is but a trivial idol. The whole premise of my conversion to Islaam was to embrace a monotheistic view of God and fully submit to Him. I presumably accepted an omniscient, transcendent, and sublime deity, but after delving into Islaam, I realized that Allaah was just another conventional god. God could still exist, but equally, so could the other supernatural beings abound in mythology. The time has come for adults to grow-up and discard their imaginary friends. I’d estimate that 99.99% of believers adhere to a particular religion, not by choice, but because their parents indoctrinated them. Before I was an agnostic, but after my experience with Islaam, I’ve become an atheist. This testimony ideally must bear criticism of Islaam, but don’t be fooled. From my intimate experience with Islaam, I’ve encountered much truth and good. For that, I’m truthfully appreciative. Some of the best people I’ve met are, in fact, Muslims. Before my conversion, I despised the religion of Prophet Muhammad. However, I now respect Islaam, but notwithstanding that I kindly choose to disagree with Muhammad.

Leaving Islaam was likely the greatest decision I’ve ever had to make. The religion of Prophet Muhammad kept me shackled from the diverse richness that is life. I’ve since rediscovered love; the unconditional loving-kindness and equal respect for all humankind, irrespective of gender, caste, race, language, nationality, religion, or lack there of. By doubt, I scrutinized and by questioning, I sought. In seeking, I increase the possibility that I may come upon more truths. But I’m not as arrogant to claim I possess “The Truth”, with a capital tee. In conclusion, for the Muslims in the audience, a quotation from Stephen F. Roberts who eloquently said it best: “I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”




231 responses

16 03 2007
Selin Kara

Salam, Allah is the One and Only, and everywhere we look at from the skies to the earth and from our body to what we eat, we see a reflection of His Wisdom and Creation. Therefore, Islam is the “only” path to guidance, no other path will be accepted. Fear of Allah, is a very noble feeling that one has in his heart. This noble fear, is the bringer of all goodness, happiness, purpose and salvation to one’s life. I am a Muslim, I have faith in Allah, and I am keen on reciting and living according to the Qur’an. Each one of us will die, and we will stand up before Allah, in order to account for what we have done, thought and said. Before that day of judgment comes, I call you my dear friend, back to Islam. I pray that Allah will open your heart back to Islam. Harun Yahya’s books may give you answers to your questions. All the best…

15 10 2009

Fear! That’s what drives the faith Islam and that’s how your prophet propagated Islam. he filled the mind of his followers with so much fear for Allah and hatred for non-belivers that the whole world is still suffering today. Muhammad deserves complement for a seventh century fanatic could ruffle so many feathers for so long is indeed praiseworthy. He conspired against humanity and this conspiracy is still haunting human beings. I am sorry dear but howsoever you may defend it Islam is an unpardonable crime against humanity and all Muslims are party to this crime. I hope you would revert to humanity and shun the insanity called Islam.

11 02 2011

First you are mixing religion with politics,war,economics,racial and cultural issues.It was not the Muslims who nuked Hiroshima and Nagasaki,or invaded Vietnam,exterminated red Indian race, killed 6000 000 Jews,colonized most of the Africa and Asia “to spread the faith and the empire” and to bring Christ to the Pagans of Africa,Asia and America.List of barbaric acts committed by the west can fill whole space in this page. But this does not mean that God Almighty does not exist or that there are three or more of them( Father,Son and Holy spirit). Let me make clear to you ,and this after my extensive research, that if there is such a thing as God than there can only be one,and if there is such a thing as a religion than Islam is the only one.

25 04 2013

Fantastic response to the deluded. Well done! Could not agree more.

1 06 2011
Faraz Ahmed

Selin you need to go through the whole article and not comment just by reading the headline of the writeup. I’ve just identified your problem that you’ve only been reading just the headlines of your own religion, Islam.

1 06 2011
Faraz Ahmed

Gms i see you’re mixing religion with politics race and culture. Had you read the whole article alongwith your great research, you wouldnt lie from your teeth. Its evident that you have no idea about the religion Islam leaving the rest of thousands of religion alone. I admire your great research mate!

25 04 2013

Lol too right. Well spoken.

22 11 2011

hiks.. Allah is a pig that grow the bad things to world..hiks

17 03 2007

Wow! This was an amazingly written, sincere, heartfelt, deep, thought provoking post. I thank you immensely for sharing your experiences with us.

As a female born into Islam who is dealing with (and trying to offload) all the baggage that comes with the “birthright,”as you call it, I can and do definitely appreciate all that you have written here.

One question – if you were raised in a more religious or more practicing family, do you think that you would have been so drawn to Islam? I don’t want to paraphrase or put words into your mouth, but it seems as if there was a void in you as a result of having a non-religious upbringing.

I ask this because I feel that my being raised (without choice) as a Muslim in a religious household has stifled me, and that I will forever carry the fear, guilt and dogma that was ingrained into my mind at a young age. As they say, the grass isn’t always greener…

I hope to read many more compelling, thought stimulating posts!

17 03 2007

I just saw that you have a link to my old blog on your blogroll! Thanks a bunch..!

btw, you can find more recent updates at my new place, *ahem… shameless plug* http://chickpealove.com/blog

17 03 2007

I really loved this post. A lot of people who leave Islam tend to bash it right and left, but yours is the first account I’ve read that doesn’t seem to do this. Your questions are definitely legitimate and you raised a lot of the same questions I have that no one has ever been able to answer for me not just about Islam but about organized religion in general. The biggest question I have about Islam being the “perfectness” of the Quran. I quite simply do not understand how it could be perfect if it was transcribed by fallible men who themselves were practically illiterate. And then if that isn’t enought to cast doubts in my mind, to have all copies of the Quran be burned and then subsequently retranscribed from memory by fallible men again. Generally when I express my doubts and questions I’m usually critized for them so its nice to see someone who had the same problems I’m currently having.

11 02 2011

One can reach all the teachings and meanings of Koran by simple scientific logical reasoning. Islam gave directives about stock markets 1300 years before it came into existence, Islam has also given precise directives about meat consumption of animals/species which will come into existence by means of bioengineering. Most of United Nations resolutions regarding human rights,children rights ,environment,flora and fauna are nothing but based on Islamic laws. There is no running away from Islam because it is most logical,simple,precise and all encompassing system of existence.Humans can use and abuse any system at their disposal and Islam is not spared, it is illogical to negatively influence your relationship with the Creator because of this.It is the same to be angered with your father if your brother harms you in anyway.
If The Prophet(SAW) didn’t have any supra natural source of knowledge than(any reasonable person will agree) he must have been most brilliant human being to come into existence in the history of mankind, and by common sense one should follow what our “brilliant” people say.

1 06 2011
Faraz Ahmed

shut up gms. How many of the scientific gadgets that you use today are a gift of islam? or leme put it this way, there are 54 muslim countries in the world, how many of them have something that they can proudly say is a creative contribution to humanity?

25 08 2014

late to the party, but there is another ex-muslim with a moderate view I know of on islam (more specific, the community).. Alom Shaha. i did not finish ‘the young atheist’s handbook’, but it was getting good

17 03 2007

And chickpea I can totally relate to being afraid and stifled. I have all these whatifs that truly can’t be answered, like what if my parents weren’t muslim. Would I have actually chosen this for myself? And I’ve been so engrained since birth really that Islam is THE TRUTH that I can’t really envision ever leaving it mainly out of fear (what if it really is THE TRUTH and I left it?)

Sometimes I wish that I could just willingly accept that there really is no God. That would make things so much simpler.

5 04 2011

GOd is good, righteous and merciful. Mankind has authority over all creation and were different from animals because we think, we reason, we discern and choose (free will). I believed that any teaching that would deviate from that fundamental logic or truth is false.

I don’t believed also that religion can save us but fear of the lord, yes, it will determine our intentions and behavior.

You can leave your religion without necessarily rejecting your belief that there is GOD who righteous and merciful.

17 03 2007
Umm Yasmin

That was a fascinating account, and you are clearly a philosopher. It reminded me of Imam al-Ghazali who in an autobiographical account you can see the period of atheism he went through as a sceptic, although he never comes outright and says it.

My quibble would be that I don’t buy that the fundamentalist Islam you experienced = “authentic” Islam and other types of Islam (modernist, neo-traditionalist, cultural, sufistic etc.) are somehow not as authentic, or are later developments that deviate from the original.

There is no such thing as one authentic form of Islam (as there is no such thing as one authentic form of Christianity). Religion, any and all religion, is contextually manifested and fundamentalist Islam is very much a project of modernity. This is because it is a human experience, evanescent and ever-changing as the human experience changes. What fundamentalist Muslims (and neo-traditionalists and modernists etc. etc. etc.) do is selectively emphasise those aspects that accord with their paradigm and expression of Islam.

Truth with a capital T (which others call God) is the only unchanging, authentic Reality. Ibn al-‘Arabi calls this undifferentiated Being, which when viewed through the prism of creation becomes diversified like light scattered through a crystal. So anyone who claims they alone have the authentic Islam – it is like trying to claim they have the authentic Truth, when that cannot be contained in a finite expression. Sorry for getting philosophical.

Cheers wasalam
Umm Yasmin

14 05 2015

I think that the experience of and perspectives of the author are valid. They are not my truth and I continue to draw different conclusions to him but clearly they are truth to him [sic] and who am I to deny anyone else’s opinion?

It could be however that his rejection of Islam also occurred as a result of Salafi burnout…. a kind of inexhaustable zeal that only seems to end with the grave. Imagine climbing a mountain and never being able to reach the top – let alone see it – and you will start to get a handle on the collective misery of this group and others like it [for example the sufis are likewise a little susceptible to burnout].

I have been a Muslim now for 15+ years and have found religious Muslims across the board to be consumed by a competitive race like mentality to the practice of the(ir) ‘deen’. This overt competitiveness is a little soul destroying because like the ficticious vampires in Bram Stoker’s Dracula sucking blood from the necks of the living, the very life force of compassion, friendliness, love, and empathy is drained from the corpus of the believers by this collective act of competition.

To clarify, I don’t mean the competition of racing to do deeds that are pleasing to Allah – like feeding or helping someone who is down on their luck. If only the masjids were used to feed the hungry and house the homeless like the Prophet [sas] used to do. Rather, I refer to the never ending drama of religious muslims’ need to [sub]conciously validate the sanctity, purity, and excellence of their own selves and their egos, perspectives, beliefs, and actions through putting other believers and their actions and beliefs down.

Of course this is not allowed in Islam, but whatever group of muslims’ you find yourself amongst this is realistically normalized group behaviour.

In my humble opinion, Shaytan has been successful in this regard ever since the believers were split by the fitna between Ali ibn Abi Talib and Muawiyah bin abu sufyan.

19 03 2007

This was a great testimony. I hope many people read it especially those who are considering converting to Islam. As for you not despising Islam, wait. This will come naturally and inevitably. As an apostate I went through the same mental experiences. I tried hard to revert to Islam but I couldn’t. Today I hate Islam with every fiber of my being. There is nothing more evil than Islam. Any person who loves mankind, truth or has a shred of decency can’t help it but to hate this cult of hate. If you love truth, you hate lies. If you care about goodness, you despise evil. Intolerance must not be tolerated. Ex Muslims must speak out. We are the biggest threat to Islam. Muhammad knew that. That is why that evil soul ordered anyone leaving his insane cult to be put to death. Islam’s days are numbered. Visit http://www.faithfreedom.org and meet other apostates.

11 02 2011

I just want to find out which ideology,religion,system of governance didn’t get involved in wars in the history?

5 04 2011

That’s why i couldn’t embrace ISLAM after reading islamic books but I believed there is only one GOD, and that GOD is good, righteous and merciful..

20 03 2007

Interesting testimony. One question I do have though, since your apostacy was a result of logical conclusions about the religion of Islam, and not a result of a personality conflict with members of the faith, and since you cited the negative parts of the religion in many areas, why do you then defer all of the logic with the second-to-last paragraph by stating that you still “respect Islam” ?
Is your respect earned by anything concrete, or is it a result of nostalgia with the last “religious feeling” that you experienced ?
What is left to respect about Islam ?
Certainly, I can understand respecting individual Muslims or respecting specific non-objectionable elements within Islam (such as sadaqa, etc.) but why respect the whole Islam, since within that concept “Islam” are the many deplorable things you previously mentioned.
Frankly, I am confused.

20 03 2007

All praise and thanks are to Allah we praise and seek His help, His forgiveness and we seek refugee in Allah from the evils of our souls and the evils of our actions. whomsoever Allah guides none can misguide and whomsoever Allah MISGUIDES THAN NONE CAN GUIDE ARIGHT, i bear witness that there is no diety worthy of worship but Allah and that Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him and all the mesengers) is His final messenger.
to proceed

i praise Allah firstly for raising me upon His religion of truth and i ask Him to make me steadfast upon it.Aamin

for the one who choses to give up his faith and the one who doubts it. then you will gain a great loss by leaving it.

Question yourself, for God said in your ouwnselves are signs. did you create yourself? nay, you didnt.
did you come out of nothing? if so then produce me something out of nothing? rather you were created from something. The One, Eternal and Absolute, He begets not, nor is He begotton and ther is none comparable and co-equal to Him.And He is Allah.
do you believe that you were made for play and amusement? if so ask yourself , why do i loose my health,why do i age and why do i die ? these are only loses to increase us in patience, hope, and trust in God, that He will replace it with something better.
What is the meaning of Oneness of God? it is to believe He is the creator of all things you, me and all that exists from something that was non existance He brought it into existance, Most Glorious is He. secondly to believe that He is the provider of all things, that nothing gets its provision except that it had been decreed for him an example the milk contained in a mothers breast for her child, the child would not have had that sustanence if Allah (god) did not put it there. thirdly to believe that He is the controller of all affairs, i.e the alternation of the night and day, the rotation of the sun and moon etc. something to relate to is if a ship is going through a fixed course without knocking into the land but running smoothly through the waves. can we say that this ship is smoothly moving through the sea by itself? or does it have a navigator or sailor to control it? the affairs of this world life, growth, death, the alternation of the night and day, the rotation of the sun and moon etc. are far more complex than this ship, surely it has a controller behind it.

i leave you to ponder.

27 05 2011

sir, how old you are? may be 12 or 13.

20 03 2007

I might be poking my nose into business that is not mine, but the above comment by Amatallah sounds suspiciously like a spate of comments that I have been receiving on my blog, informing me that I am going to burn in hell, my family will burn in Hell if they don’t lash me for my indiscretions, etc.

Just figured I’d give you a heads up.

21 03 2007
Another Apostate Speaks Up « Basharee Murtadd

[…] rebel against what they perceive to be an exclusively white religion. Another ex-Muslim’s recent testimony, which I encourage you to read in full, says:  Harbouring an aversion for a decadent […]

21 03 2007

All praise and thanks are to Allah we praise and seek His help, His forgiveness and we seek refugee in Allah from the evils of our souls and the evils of our actions. whomsoever Allah guides none can misguide and whomsoever Allah MISGUIDES THAN NONE CAN GUIDE ARIGHT, i bear witness that there is no diety worthy of worship but Allah and that Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him and all the mesengers) is His final messenger.
to proceed

Again, i praise Allah for raising me upon His religion of truth and i ask Him to make me steadfast upon it.Aamin

islam is not something that is enforced upon people. it is a religion of submission through which by submitting peace can be attained in the heart and the society. And Allah said in the Quran ‘there is no compulsion in religion.’ [surah 2:256]

i hope and pray Allah protects me from being among those who give up His religion, if they knew the beauty of it they would not want to leave it. but glory be to Him (Allah) far from what they say and He is capable of all things. through His mercy He guides whom He wills.
its like a person who is given a million dollars but doesnt know its value so gives it away thus attains a great loss.

the truth is yes all disbelievers will go to the hellfire so if a person chooses disbelief over belief then yes they will be of the inhabitants of Hell, disbelievers will go to Hell, this is a serveer enough warning and punishment from Allah, mans insults is futile and do not equate to Allahs Greatness.And also the prophet(peace and blessings be upon him)teachings one of which is ‘gentleness is not found in a thing except that it beautifies it.’ so there is no need for insults and im not inclined to such actions.
As for people feeling the wrath of others bad actions then this is unjust and Allah (God) is Just and His religion calls to Justice ,unless they helped to direct us to evil actions then they do not share its punishment. i.e. if i encouraged you to steal, then the authority should arrest both you and me and if i encourage you to feed the poor it would be unfair if you only got the reward for it.

im not here to insult or abuse anybody, all praise and thanks to Allah, it is He who reformed me. rather i am only her to remind.

Death is a certainty, but some of us act as if it is doubtful, how? because we WORSHIP MONEY AND WEALTH, ‘live life to its fullest’, do what we want, when we want, how we want, am i right? please take a lesson from the dead, THESE LUXURIES WONT LAST.the money we work so hard to attain, the fancy car that takes much time to maintain, the pretty women that some men try so hard to impress, then what? these are forms of worship because we devote and sacrifice our time and our efforts for these things.and obviously theyr not going to occampany us in the graves, but only our deeds.
Rather We were created to WORSHIP GOD(ALLAH) by sacrificing our time, effort and our luxuries for Him so in return He will give us something eternal without death, enjoyment without disruption and luxuries without end. This is the reward for him who BELIEVES IN ALLAH, does righteous good deeds sincerly for Him in accordance to the teachings of the Quran and of the prophet(peace and blessings be upon him).
the final part of Allah’s oneness is that to Him belongs the most beautiful names. He is perfect, He lives and never dies (Ever Living) yet man lives and dies. He is Capable of all things and we are uncapable of many. He is Beautiful and His beauty never seizes, we must look after ourselves to stay beautiful but then we age, burn ourselves (get spots, injuries etc.). this is the true meaning of His oneness to acknowledge that He is the Lord (Creator,Controller and Provider), He alone deserves to be worshipped and to Him belongs the Most beautiful names.

Anything good i say is from Allah and anything bad is from myself or the accursed devil.

Glory Be You(Allah), Our Lord to You belongs all praise, i bear witness that there is no diety worthy of worshipped but You i seek Your Forgivenenss and repent unto You.

18 06 2015

Amatallah, ideas about god and names given to Him or rules made in HIS name are not HIS but just human ideas. If you believe God is ALMIGHTY, you should know that He does NOT belong to any particular religion, or to any particular nation; He doesn’t need ‘submission’ from human beings or His creations. Only sentient beings ‘need’, not god. So don’t quick to judge people whether they are wrong or right. Bad or good. Leave it to ‘HIM’.

21 03 2007

This is a very enlightening piece. I appreciate your graciousness and admire your having the personal fortitude to write it. I’m not going to try to address any specific point you made but only comment on my thoughts as I read.

Firstly, I will tell you that I am a former Christian. I found many doubts in my faith in Christianity that you had with various religions. Secondly, I will tell you that I am a convert to Judaism. Yes, there is a Jew here for any and all to hate! We seem to be the object of the world’s hatred, although I never quite figured out why. Now, onto my thoughts:

Many people, such as yourself, find themselves concerned with eternal salvation. They agonize over “heaven” or “hell”. As a Jew, I will say that neither is a concern! “Heaven”, where so many want to ‘go’ when they die, is a myth in the traditional sense. “Heaven” is very simple – an eternity praising G-d and living righteously. The primary objective on earth driving people to strive for “heaven” – another myth – “hell”.

If you’ve seen “The Matrix”, I will ask you to remember a conversation when Neo was waiting to see the Oracle.
Boy:”Do not try to bend the spoon; that’s impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth.”
Neo:”What Truth?”
Boy: “There is no spoon.” Neo: “There is no spoon?”
Boy: “Then you will see, it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself. ”

Simply – there is no “hell”. It is a fabrication of most world religions to scare the living crap out of the adherents into doing the will of the religions’ progenitors. An extreme simplicfication of Jewish faith – THE REWARD FOR A GOOD LIFE IS A GOOD LIFE. Loving acts of selflessness and charity are of utmost importance. While yes, I do believe that G-d will punish us for our sins, there is no place of eternal torture where we burn in a lake of fire or have boiling water poured down our throats! Those notions are akin to the “boogey man” we scare our kids with – BOOGEY BOOGEY! LOL

I chose Judaism not because I want eternal salvation (hint: We all are already OK in G-d’s eyes). “Salvation” is another myth but too lengthy to delve into here. From a Jewish perspective, everyone who isn’t Jewish need only follow the 7 Noachide laws to find favor with G-d. Most significant of those, in my opinion, is the fact that you don’t even have to believe in the god of Abraham! Just DON’T worship any other gods and you’re fine! I found it ironic as a former Christian that I was falling out of favor with G-d because I was basically engaging in idolatry (worshipping JC) but that an athiest was doing no wrong! I’m a Jew because I’m drawn to G-d and want to please him by fulfilling his commandments (there’s 613, not just 10, BTW!) I fully understand that I can please him just as well by following the Noachide 7, that Judaism is a burden on a person that isn’t encumbent upon them and shouldn’t be considered lightly.

That’s another thing I found funny about Judaism – It takes generally a year to convert, to be taken in and be accepted by the Jewish community and “ordained” by a Rabbi as a Jew. This is because they don’t want you to take Judaism lightly! They aren’t concerned with growing their numbers, they are concerned that you won’t be able to fullfill the commandments and bring the wrath of G-d against Judaism as a whole. Saying “I’m a Jew” 3 times like a Muslim or “G-d is my personal savior” and being baptised like a Christian simply won’t cut it! But again, we don’t want you to come to Judaism because you’re seeking “heaven” or fleeing “hell”. We prefer you to follow the Noachide 7 and contribute to humanity in a positive way and reap all the rewards without the work – leave the work to us!

In closing, I love you all as brothers and sisters and wish us all rewarding lives filled with peace and love. That is what G-d truly wants for all of us. This is in no way meant to be interpreted as a call to Judaism or a “my religion is better than yours” argument. Since Muslims outnumber us 100 to 1, as do Christians – I just wanted to give the perspective of one of the true minority. The voice of people from my religion is seldom heard but VERY OFTEN assumed to be known and totally misrepresented. As I believe – THE REWARD FOR A GOOD LIFE IS A GOOD LIFE! Oh, and “there is no spoon!” 😉


25 04 2013

to seeking, if only muslim should not be close minded and be open minded, they will become really a christian.

21 03 2007
Philip Saenz

Dear Sirs, No doubt most if not all of you are very sincere. Some are Muslim and some are atheists, and many of you are very good. As a Catholic, I wish all of you well. Please let me inform you that there is a true church. And, yes, there is a Supreme Being. This Supreme Being performs many miracles in the supernatural order in order to lead sincere people into the Holy Catholic Church. At least I ask you to keep your minds open and watch with humility. Yes, God does exist. How could anyone convince me otherwise when God has performed many miracles in the supernatural order through me and others? At present, I’m asking our Supreme Being to perform a great miracle so that you will convert. If the miracle occurs, please do not reject it. Submit with humility. A Supreme Being wills it.

22 03 2007

Thank you so much for your biography. It is written in a very personal and informative way, and it is very helpful. Some of the comments are very worthwhile, too.

I’ve been through a period of introspection. I was bought up a Christian, and, though I retained my faith in God, I began to see that the deification of Jesus asks too much of the man. Jesus is human. I began to look at the books of other faiths; I read the Qur’an, taking the suras in chronological order (which is not the order in which they appear in the book: this is important, as Mohammed’s teaching became more severe as he grew older.) To me, in that reading, Allah came over as an alter ego of the Prophet and nothing more. His words too conveniently follow the events in the life of the prophet. He changes his mind, ‘abrogating’ previous instructions when it becomes expedient. Allah threatens and pleads for praise from his own creation; there is actually something faintly humorous about this: it is as though the divine webmaster were content to spend his time typing glowing comments about himself in his own guest-book. I found an element of sadism in the gloating over the fate of the damned in the fire of hell. The Qur’an, in short, is not divine, but is of human making. To attribute eternal and divine properties to transient human thought is to court disaster.

I began to realise that the only system I could agree with was the Noachide one; its laws are very simple and inclusive. Honour God, be faithful to your spouse, be honest in your dealings with your fellow man, do no evil, treat nature with respect, and maintain a sytem of justice. That’s probably enough.

22 03 2007

All praise and thanks are to Allah we praise and seek His help, His forgiveness and we seek refugee in Allah from the evils of our souls and the evils of our actions. whomsoever Allah guides none can misguide and whomsoever Allah MISGUIDES THAN NONE CAN GUIDE ARIGHT, i bear witness that there is no diety worthy of worship but Allah and that Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him and all the mesengers) is His final messenger.

Ben said
”The Qur’an, in short, is not divine, but is of human making.”

my question is if it is not devine then produce a verse like it? and you will never be able to do it.
if it is of human making explain how a man who lived 1400years ago (prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him and all the prophets) could have had knowledge of the following WITHOUT SCIENTICFIC EQUIPTMENT (because logically telescopes, microscropes, space rockets etc. did not exist in previous centuries)

‘we created man from an extract of clay. then we made him as a drop in a place of settlement, firmly fixed. then we made the drop into an alaqah (leech, suspended thing, and a blood clot.) then we made the alaqah into a mudghah (chewed substance)’ (23:12-14)
refer to the video ‘this is the truth’ to hear the response of PROFESSOR Moore worlds most prominant scientists in the field of anatomy and embyrology, who has no difficulty in accepting this FACT.

‘HAve we not made the mountains as pegs.’ (78:6-7)
refer to the book ‘the geological concept of Mountains in the Quran’ el Naggar
these are two scientific facts, but there are much more, please refer tot he book ‘a brief illustrated guide to understanding islam.’ I.A Ibrahim

if you dont wont to believe there is no compulsion in religion. but please dont insult others religion in the process.
in order to convince someone to believe you, you must use evidence. No where in the Quran does God exclaim ‘please worship me.’ rather He orders it for our own good.
God is Merciful, certain verses in the Quran were abrogated to make it easy for the believer to follow.And because of the weightyness of the meaning of the Quran it was revealed in gradual steps. i.e. the prohibition of alcohol. if God told the people to leave what they love they would not have obeyed him rather His prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) instilled love in the heart of his followers for God, hope for His Paradise and hate for His punishment ,that the believers willingly gave it up.

heres an example
Allah, the Most Wise prohibited alcohol
first He revealed ‘And from the fruits of date palms and grapes you take from it strong beverages and a good provision.’ (16:67) so God rebuked it and did not consider it a goodly provision then gradually when a companion asked the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) regarding issues including alcohol. God revealed
‘they ask you concerning intoxicants and gambling in them is a great evil and benefit for mankind. and its evil is greater than its benefit.’ (2:219)
then slowely God told them to abstain from it when approaching prayer ‘o you who believe do not come close to prayer and you are drunk until you know what you are saying.’ (4:43)
Until He finally prohibited saying
‘o you who believe! intoxicant and gambling and animal sacrificed to false dieties on alters and arrow for seeking luck or decision are an abmination of satans handiworks…’

the people obeyed this willingly because love, hope and fear was instilled into their hearts

this is not the order of how the verses were revealed, however, God later sent His Angel Jibraeil commanding the prophet (peace and blessing be upon him) to put the verses in the order that we have today, and He is All Wise.

lastly before i leave i remind myself of a chapter revealed by GOD in His final revealation ‘the Quran’

‘say (O Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) to these idol worshippers and disbelievers)
i worship not that which you worship
nor will you worship that which i worship
and i shall not worship that which you are worshipping
nor will you worship that which i worship
to you be your religion and to me be my religion (islamic monotheism)’ (109:1-6)

‘it is He(Allah) Who has sent His messenger (Muhammad peace and blesings be upon him) with the truth (islam), to make it superior over all other religions even though the mushrikoon (polytheists, pagans, idolators, disbelievers in the Oneness of Allah) hate (it).’ (Quran 9:33)

Glory be to Allah, far above what they ascribe to Him.

23 03 2007

THe only basic thing that i always hold deep in my heart is that; every religions encourage people to do good things other than bad things..that’s the basic. U said something about Gautama Buddha and his decent behaviour…well, as far as i know..gautama buddha is one of our prophet in Islam…He delivered about our god Allah and asked his people to always being good and worship Allah..but his people ended up worshipping him after his death rather than worshipping his teaching to worship Allah.

Islam never tolerates with violence. those who committed suicide bomb out there..were people who didn’t grasp and embrace islam the right way…in Islam, even if we are in war…we can’t kill children, ladies and old people…we can only kill the one in the battle. we killed face to face…we didn’t ‘touch’ sacred places like mosque, church or temple…but israelis are doing this…and yet muslim are the one they labelled terrorist due to those who are not embracing it truthfully…what a shame..bush is the real terrorist..israel are the real asshole..even a normal people could agreed on it..

17 07 2010

ha ha ha!

23 03 2007

This is I think the most wonderful story of leaving Islam I ever read so far.

Thank you, Abdul-Quddus.

23 03 2007
Reverts at Risk « Wolf Pangloss

[…] 22nd, 2007 · No Comments Abdul-Quddus writes on his website “Khalas!“ Over time, certain individuals were introduced to me that […]

23 03 2007
Wolf Pangloss

I too am Catholic and agree with Philip Saenz.

To meatrocket, who wrote

And I’ve been so engrained since birth really that Islam is THE TRUTH that I can’t really envision ever leaving it mainly out of fear (what if it really is THE TRUTH and I left it?)

Sometimes I wish that I could just willingly accept that there really is no God. That would make things so much simpler.

What if there really is a God but not the one you’ve been worshipping, who is actually a devil? Wasn’t “Sin” the original name of Allah, and wasn’t the golden calf with the moon horns his symbol, in the long-ago days before the Arab polytheists gave him the title Allah and worshipped him at the Kaaba?

I think you sense the truth that there really is a God, and that the Allah of the Quran is not Him. Atheism is not the correct path post that revelation.

23 03 2007
Lisa (Catholic)

May GOD bless you all and lead you to the right path. I see GOD in each one of you and also in our muslims brothers and sisters. I keep them in my prayers that they may come to the light, I have no problem with Muslims, I will never think of hating muslims but I hate Islam as ideology that is enslaving those brainwashed fellows. I feel so sad when I see the kids been brainwashed and feed to hate instead of experience the ultimate and unconditional love. The love they teach kids is always conditional, the concept of forgiveness only applies to the willingness or when in power.

Peace of the lord Jesus Christ be with you all

11 02 2011

Please explain to me how come 1+1+1=1.This is the only and fundamental difference between Islam and Christianity.Jesus never ever said “I’m god” and nobody prayed to Him while He was alive. How come His pictures and statues are God and he himself was not while alive.

16 09 2012

God cannot be understood with the mind! God is multiple unity! He’s many and he’s one at the same time. Those, who try to understand everything with their mind are antichrists, because the mind itself is the ANTICHRIST.

16 09 2012
Lucifer Himself

Lol I dont understand why you keep giving quran’s references when the book is full of errors and most of the times negates itself? If religion has no compulsion then why does it tell muslims to slaughter people who leave islam? Thats one fallacy right there. Stop being lame and write something that is worth reading. All of the replies coming from muslims are pathetic and disappointing to the point that they do not show the ignorance of it but arrogance. Just liie the comment above. How stupid can it be? In his own statement he is giving arguments that prove either he has not read his own religion or hes just an idiot. Christians have not made jesus a god. They dont go on a killing spree if someone draws a cartoon or say anything against religion. Muslims have made muhammad a god because he is actually allah and allah is muhammad himself. Muhammad = Allah. Abdul Moore there is no need for religion for harmony peace and respect. Religion has taken more lives in the name of god than anything else. My opinion counts cos its not biased. I do not believe in imaginary friends.

16 09 2012

Jesus has said, who he has made himself – the Son of God. He has said so to those, who were antichrists (intellectuals), not fearing the physical death! Everyone can make themselves into what Jesus has made himself, but a very few know about the secret keys to awakening. Humanity is asleep, in the Darkness. Any kind of blind beliefs into something or ideas are Darkness.

23 03 2007
Lisa (Catholic), To Anul

You are right Anul, I also think that Bush and Israelis are not fair with Arabs, whether in Palestine, Iraq, etc. As someone who is following Jesus, I’m against violence in all means whether from Americans, Israelis or muslims, there is no justification of violence.

Anul, I encourage you to read the history of Islam carefully, do not only listen to what the imams feed you. Muhammad after moving to Medina started to intimidate tribes around him, invade thier caravans. Yes he created these rules around wars, but do not forget that he also made it lawfull to enslave non muslim woman called sabaya, thier children became slaves (Abds).
The arguments that we always hear from muslims that these war rules didn’t exist before islam, I encourage you to think again. Islam didn’t bring anything new, it actually brought laws back to thousands of years before the Christ. GOD in Islam prefers muslims and allow them to kill non muslims in Jihad. GOD the loving GOD that Jesus brought to us doesn’t allow his children to kill, no justification of violence whatsoever.

Muslims justifies thier invasion to the world out of self defence, this concept is just as wierd as the concepts of “Redda wars” at the time of Abu Bakr elsedik. Please read your history, most of the tribes reverted back from Islam after Muhammad died, if it is not for Abu Bakr, who commanded Khlaed Bin Elwalid, Amr bin Alaas and others to force those who converted from islam back to silam, Islam would have finished after Muhammad died, or at least was kept within Medina and probably Mecca.

My dear, just read, read and read, isn’t it what the first verse of Quran says, READ, but hopefully in an open mind

Peace be with you

23 03 2007

Lisa :
I’m far from a perfect muslim and i agree that im still reading and reading. but the thing is..things u read..u cant tell whether it tells the truth or not..some has been manipulated..

about jihad..we only allow to kill our enemy of islam if they try to ruin islam to disregard islam…we never been taught about killing non muslim in jihad just like that…that refers to the sucide bombing happened nowadays..eventhough they might think wat they did is jihad..we muslim never acknowledge it as jihad coz jihad is killing the real enemy..the real one threatening us..”real one”…

as long as the threat can still be solved w.out killing..we always try to use peace..that’s y islam never force anyone to embrace it..u can live on our land with ur own religion..no problem…

the truth is…out there..we dont know who practice the real islam…we..as a normal human..try to practice the pure one which totally leads to a peace for everyone..

23 03 2007

Wolf Pangloss (03:51:55) :
“I too am Catholic and agree with Philip Saenz.
To meatrocket, who wrote…”

Wolf – I didn’t write that, you quoted the wrong person. I’ve never followed Islam, I’m an ex-christian convert to Judaism.

23 03 2007
Organic Muslimah

I have to finish a school assignment before I read your lengthy post. I was aware that there were: Polygamy bloggers, Muslim bloggers of all sorts (salafi, sufi, Qiadani, shia), but I never imagined there was “leaving Islam club.”

Regardless, I have nothing else to say because I haven’t read anything, but I will be back.

And so this means you left our club? You aren’t on the Muslim team.


23 03 2007

There is no way I have read your lengthy post. I came here because you commented on a blog that I read. Just wanted to tell you my parents, sibling, her best friend, and I, all reverted to Islam from Christianity (Catholism, and different sects of Protestant to be exact). We all reverted at different times, too.

Show me an apostate and I’ll show you many converts/reverts.

You are one of the few. Your side bar shows all 10-20 “fake” used to be Muslims. If you have Islam in your heart and in your life, you would rather die than apostate. If you truly understand Islam, and are highly educated, no way in the world would you apostate.

So, I will give you the benefit of reading your post someday. Perhaps you were not informed. Or perhaps I will see that you are a Christian and this is your form of trying to attract weak Muslims to your current belief. I have seen your kind so many times before.

There are Campus Ministry students who go to Palestine, wear the hijab, read Quran, go to the mosques, stay there for years, meanwhile teaching about their own faith. I have seen them come back with many new Muslim friends, but not A SINGLE ONE converted to Christianity. I think they are sneaky tactics. But just so you know, most Muslims are “on to you guys”.

1 02 2012

Talk about a whack job! Can’t you just accept that people are leaving Islam because they found faults in it? Good for you if you want to continue believing, but believe this… People leave all kinds of religions everyday and the fact that you tell him he should die instead of apostate shows how limited you’ve become within Islam. You are just another irrelevant sheep of a religion. I bet you could not even start to understand what he was talking about and that you did not read it all. I requested for my apostasy from the Catholic religion and it is funny no one told me I should kill myself instead of requesting it. You are as twisted as your religion.

3 03 2013

That’s the problems with Muslims, making such arrogant statements about their faith without any thinking or reasoning behind why they hold their convictions so dearly to their hearts when the whole of humanity marches onto progress and enlightenment when the most that a Muslim can offer is a backward look to the past trying to recreate that primitive past with all its beliefs and superstitions. There is no freedom of thought in Islam, if there were then the greatest gift to humanity which is the human mind would have been utilised by Muslims to create dynamism and innovation that would have rivalled any other civilisation in the world. Instead all we see now is Muslims immigrating enmasse into the West to benefit from the advancements that the freed intellectual mind has given to the world – and what is the contribution of Muslims to this part of the world? In a nutshell: zero. Of course we are sold the politically correct lie that Muslims contribute and enrich our lives in so many ways. I hope someone will enlighten me as to what that is. Meanwhile their numbers continue to grow throw procreation and still continued immigration. Through the ballot box they will achieve their aims. You only have to see this in action, George Galloway.

I too have left Islam but while a member of this cult was too swayed by its message of hatred and intolerance towards non Muslims. All who are not part of this faith should beware. What they tell you the message of Islam is, is short of nothing but a lie. World domination under one ideology of a primitive past is their goal. I fear with our politically correct class in the West we are already doomed.

23 03 2007
Lisa To Anul

Dear Anul

You seem to read only part of what I have wrote and ignored the rest. I didn’t mention suiside bombers, I mentioned the early wars of islam that Muhammad and his companions were responsible for.

This is the history that you should read and analyze in an open mind.

Try to also re-read what you have wrote, how many times did you mention the word kill, killing in islam is justified based on defending Islam. This is a vague statement that is responsible for all the wars Islam did in the name of GOD, in the name of defending Islam. Is Islam is so great or GOD in islam is so powerfull, how come they need muslims to defend them?

Christ Died on the cross, he could defend himself but chose not to, for one simple reason, is to show humanity the unconditional love that GOD has for all of us, the GOD that will not command his children to kill each other, nevertheless killing each other in his name.

Peace of the lord Jesus Christ be with you

23 03 2007

“If you truly understand Islam, and are highly educated, no way in the world would you apostate”

LOL, I love it when people make stupid statements like this because its so unbelievably idiotic. Give me a break.
I know someone who was highly educated in Islam. She got her degree in sometype of Islamic studies at Al-Azhar but still left Islam and converted to Christianity

26 03 2007

what a loser, fake post! go and do some constructive work..your digging your own grave..and I”m more than sure you’re a spammer.

27 03 2007

Lisa :
if u really read so much..do u even know that in our teaching..we also being teached about our 25 prophets..one of them is our propehet Isa..which u christians claim Christ…which means..ur God is just Our prophet…

n the only thing i want to emphasize is…how confident u are to claim what u read, is true..in islam, if we were to seek for truth learn about islam or anything we need a teacher..a wise man that really know bout it…

and again..if u really read so much..ur god Christ is just our prophet dear Lisa.U claimed that Christ let himself died on the cross to show how GOD has unconditional love, y dont u search who is Christ’s God..but yet u think Christ is ur GOd..phatetic mind..even if u think it logically.

16 09 2012
Lucifer Himself

because Islam is a rip from christianity. judaism and other pagan religion lol I salute your ignorance and lack of grey matter in your head.

27 03 2007
Lisa To Anul

Dear Anul

The last thing I intent to do is to upset you, calm down and try to read what I have written and answer the points I raised

So, your only source to understand islam is your imams and mullahs, why is it forbidden to investigate islam by yourself?, is it hard to read or research the history of wars in islam, or research the biography of Muhammad. Or is it that you don’t want to move away from your comfort zone?

Peace be with you

28 03 2007

As to the last comment. As a revert, I never learned Islam from any mullah or imam. That is just plain ignorant.

The Quran is an unadulterated text and there are plenty of resources written about the life of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him.) Perhaps you should get yourself something written by a Muslim.

Oh, and I’m sorry, there have never been any wars in the name of the Church? Perhaps you fell asleep during all your college years?

28 03 2007

Reading this biography, it almost sounds as if I read it. I too went through almost every religion, finding myself in Islam, and not being able to live, like something was in my heart that was keeping me from loving, and loving myself.
I thank you for putting this online, because you are not the only one that feels this way, or has been put through the “religion” thing.

Thank you, you have opened my eyes to the world.

28 03 2007

You still didn’t answer the questions about the wars in islam during Muhammad and his companions time, wars that were fought in the name of GOD. Wars to defend islam against what they called kuffars or murtadeen.

These wars are in the history of Islam, from Islmic sources, and from the Quran.

The church has apologized for the mideavel time, fo one simple reason, because old doings were against the bible (new testment) and against Jesus’ teachings. Who to blame for the wars fought by Muhammad himself, is it Muhammad? or is it Allah.

I’m sure you know that Christ haven’t justify violence for any reason, any war in the name of Christianity is against Christianity itself.

Peace be with you

11 02 2011

Lisa, those were wars of self defense exactly as happening today.Those were wars against the Roman colonial empire which was terrorizing the whole of North Africa and Middle East, stealing their resources,forcing heavy taxes on indigenous populations forcing them into slavery and ultimately destroying the whole Egyptian civilization. If this evil empire was still existent today I’m sure that even some of the western countries would have gone to war against them.

31 03 2007

Asalam wa alaikum

I have read your post and I found myself with tears in the end. You are a very good writer with a gifted way of expressing yourself. What I got from the content was confusion with multiple personas shifting through each section. So please reply if i have misinterpreted anything you have said. It seems that there are a couple misunderstandings of your knowledge of Islam.

1. Where in Islam does it say you cannot be have communist, democratic, or capitalist ideals so long as they comply with the Quran and Sunnah. You can even be a vegetarian.

2. “And whoever seeks a religion other than Islaam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers.” (3:85). This is true of Islamic belief except for the fact that if one has sincerity when make complete repentance to Allah, it will be accepted so long as they are alive.

3. You said that the Quran was not the Word of Allah. You claimed that a majority of the Companions were illiterate, what about the ones that were scholars and scribes? For argument sake, if the Companions were illiterate does that automatically mean that they didn’t have the capacity for memorization? Nowadays you can find 4 and 5 year old that can barely read, memorizing the whole Quran! Did you forget to mention the month of Ramadan in which the Prophet would have to recite (out of memory) the Quran to angel Gabriel.

4. You said, “I could not worship a God that changed. As just another idol, Allaah was depicted and contained in the literary work of al-Qur’aan.”
Amatallah gave the example:
“Allah, the Most Wise prohibited alcohol
first He revealed ‘And from the fruits of date palms and grapes you take from it strong beverages and a good provision.’ (16:67) so God rebuked it and did not consider it a goodly provision then gradually when a companion asked the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) regarding issues including alcohol. God revealed
‘they ask you concerning intoxicants and gambling in them is a great evil and benefit for mankind. and its evil is greater than its benefit.’ (2:219)
then slowely God told them to abstain from it when approaching prayer ‘o you who believe do not come close to prayer and you are drunk until you know what you are saying.’ (4:43)
Until He finally prohibited saying
‘o you who believe! intoxicant and gambling and animal sacrificed to false dieties on alters and arrow for seeking luck or decision are an abmination of satans handiworks…’”

This is to show that Allah revealed the Quran in stages, so that we would be able to get the whole picture and not just commandments.

5. You said, “Surely, there were many “comparable unto Him.” (112:4)” I’m guessing you’re playing on the Anthropomorphic Deity. I will not lie, when I first heard that Allah had a Face, and rises over His throne, I thought how so, when Allah clearly says in the Quran, “And there is none comparable unto Him.” (112:4). Alhamdulillah I came to the acknowledgment that there is no contradiction unless we perceive there to be. In Islam you must accept that Allah has a Face, and rises over His Throne BUT in a manner that suits Allah. What is that manner? Sectarians will give you metaphorical or literal meanings depending on the sect of Islam. But the Truth can only come by your ability to say that Only God knows, because Allah has not described to us this manner in the Quran or was it made know to the Prophet. As a Muslim you must ask yourself if you are seeking truthful answers or answers that will fulfill your endless human want to know.

6. You said, “Once you uncover the plagiarism, what remains is tediously pedestrian.” referring to the Quran. As a Muslim you must believe and know that the Quran was a revelation that extended from the Psalms, the Torah, and the Gospel. It is the Word of Allah like the Psalms, Torah, and Gospel had been. How can Allah plagiarize?

7. You said “Ahl us-Sunnah proudly ate on the floor with their hands like animals, while the kuffar used chairs and utensils like rightly guided people.” That is simply an dehumanizing attack of “the others” and from what I got from your testimony I don’t understand why you out it in there?

8. You said, “We reverts were lied to, though none admitted it. Islaam did not mean peace but “submission.” Even those religious groups – the Jews and Christians – which share theological similarities with the Islaamic faith are not to be taken as auliya’ (friends, protectors, helpers). There was a legal hatred for the Jews, fully sanctioned by our scripture. It was a very politicized religion pushing much propaganda.” Islam first and foremost means “willing submission to God’s Will”. A root word derived from Islam as you may know Salam means “peace”. Like many other words in arabic, one word can mean more than one thing (ex. Ayat means “ proofs, evidence, verses, lessons, signs, revelation, etc.). What do you mean I cannot be friends with Jews and Christians. The verse is out of context, it refers to those Christians and Jews that had transgressed and were attacking Islam. Christians and Jews in the Quran were given the high status of “People of the Book”. There is “no legal” hatred for the Jews. The prophet married a Jew! He had close relations with Jewish tribes in Medina. He only became angered by a couple of the Jewish tribes that were breaking accords, oaths, and treaties they had made with him. Those groups had conspired to kill the Prophet; it was fight or be played until being put in a crucial position. This may be the root of many muslim’s hatred for Jews even though the Prophet had not hated the Jews that respected him. So as Muslim’s you should never hate a group of people. Sadly this has not been the case.

9. You said, “If Allaah was omnipotent, he could understand English. In Islaam, instead of being Muslim for Allaah, we had to become Arab to be Muslim.”

In prayer you must do it as the Prophet had commanded us to do, and that was in Arabic. The simple response besides the Prophet telling us to do it is the fact that meaning gets lost in translation. So the Quran in English is not the Quran but simply a meaning of the attempted translation. Its purest form is in the language that it was revealed. Of course God understands English. God is All-Hearing, and he Knows what is in our hearts. You do not become an Arab you learn the language. The reward for those who struggle in the recitation of the Quran is double. Common misconceptions are that you must change your name when you become a Muslim, this is not true so long as your name does not revival the Names of Allah (i.e. The Merciful), or does not attribute to another, besides Allah (i.e. Slave of death, or something like that). The Prophet never commanded us to wear turbans or koffis, but we can to show our love for him. Dress code (emphases on modesty) is revealed in the Quran.

10. You said, “However, the Sunnah demands the adhaan (call to prayer) and shahaadah to be yelled into our infant’s ears at birth. While the Qur’aan commanded worship in “neither aloud nor in a low voice,” (17:110)” But the sunnah does not say to yell the adhaan in the ear of the newborn. Its say that you MAY (not obligated) recite (not yell) the adhaan and iqamah

11. You said, “Muhammad could not “submit” and disobediently sought to reduce the amount repeatedly until it was down to five.” You are missing an important concept in Islam and that is Predestined Will of Allah (Qadr). It was Moses during the ascension through the seven heavens that had wisely warned him about our inability to carry out 50 prayers a day. Even at 5 prayers a day Moses told Muhammed to lower it but by that time Muhammed had felt too shy and humiliated to ask Allah to lower it again. But in the end it was by Allah’s will the you pray five times a day.

12. You said, “Even moderate Muslims living in the West concede with my death sentence.” It reminded me of a hadith where a Companion who had been living in Abyssinia came to the Prophet and told him that he had converted to Christianity. The other Companions went straight for their swords, but the Prophet told them to let him go. The Companion later returned to Islam. Sadly we Muslims forget this hadith and blindly attempt to apply Shariah laws without any wisdom or knowledge of the situation, leading to injustice. Also this hadith, “By Allah, other than Whom there is no god, verily one of you behaves like the people of Paradise until there is but an arm’s length between him and it, and that which has been written over takes him and so he behaves like the people of Hell-fire and thus he enters it; and one of you behaves like the people of Hell-fire until there is but an arm’s length between him and it, and that which has been written over takes him and so he behaves like the people of Paradise and thus he enters it.”

13. You said, “A married Muslimah would spend eternity attending her husband as he titillated with numerous women in bed.” I suggest you read about Islamic Polygamy, its not the lewd sexual fantasy that most may think it is. The husband must provide an apartment for each wife let alone a bed.

I hope this clears some misconceptions about Islam that have arisen. I hope you also understand why I shed tears after reading your testimony. Allah can take away my faith anytime; all I can do is pray and seek truthful knowledge in order for Allah to strengthen my faith.

“Whomsoever Allah guides none can misguide and whomsoever Allah misguides none can guide.”

May Allah guide us all on the straight path

Asalam wa alaikum

(p.s. please excuse any typos)

31 03 2007

reply to Lisa:

If you were to look carefully at the history during the time of the Prophet all the expeditions made were justified. It was either get slaughter and oppressed or Jihad (struggle) for your God given rights and freedoms. So i can say that an apology is not needed.You may not see any justification for fighting, but unless you are in a situation where your sisters and mothers are raped, your children enslaved and your brothers and fathers murdered (God-forbid any of these), you may never fully understand. As for anything after the three generations after the Prophet I do know that some of the wars waged by certain empires claiming the banner of One God, did so in an unethical and unIslamic manner that any apology would never suffice. We as Muslim’s are not obliged to apologize or take the blame, but instead we should recognize their mistakes and learn from their mistakes so that they may never occur again (God-willing).


31 03 2007

All that I said i realized i never concluded, I would just like to give you some advice in life. Try to attain a balance. Do not burden yourself.
Thats it i guess.

1 04 2007

You wrote

“If you were to look carefully at the history during the time of the Prophet all the expeditions made were justified. It was either get slaughter and oppressed or Jihad (struggle) for your God given rights and freedoms. unless you are in a situation where your sisters and mothers are raped, your children enslaved and your brothers and fathers murdered (God-forbid any of these), you may never fully understand”

I understand now thank you Salahdin, that will give me justification to kill and slaughter muslims who are oppressing the minorities in the Islamic dominent countries, Oppressed Dhimmi at the time of Muhammad and Omar Bin Elkhatab. You see yourself as victims of opression but because your religeon lacks the real love that Jesus brought, you are not realizing how oppressed people were at the time of early Islam, whether Jew or those who denounce islam after Muhammad death. Try to read about Yamamah war, about 40,000 murtad (denounced islam) were killed.

But as Ghandi said, if we are going to follow that saying “an eye for an eye”, then the whole world will be blind

Open your mind before its too late. Violence will only lead to more violence

Peace of the lord Jesus Christ be with you

12 04 2007

What I cannot understand is Allah’s sadistic delight as he gloats over the fate of the damned, replacing one burned skin with a new one so that the pain can be felt anew. And this mechanically goes on forever. And then this creature calls himself ‘The Compassionate’!

17 04 2007
Allah is Great

Congratulations on writing such an eloquent and beguiling piece, especially since it effectively covers up the total lack of substance and truth in the allegations you level and the assumptions you make.

1. You say that the Quran is filled with ‘threats’ and warnings to the sinful and the unbelievers but you conveniently ignore the equally frequent references to the rewards for belief and righteous deeds: jannah, eternal life, the pleasure of the Lord and happiness. This is what Allahs message is : ‘whereupon unto those who attained to faith and did good deeds He will grant their just rewards, and give them yet more out of His bounty; whereas those who felt too proud and gloried in their arrogance He will chastise with grievous suffering: and they shall find none to protect them from God, and none to bring them succour.(4:173)

2. You refer to the ‘shackles’ of Islam whereas if you really reflected upon each command and prohibition you’d see that: ‘Allah commands justice, the doing of good, and liberality to kith and kin, and He forbids all shameful deeds, and injustice and rebellion: He instructs you, that ye may receive admonition’16:90.

3. You try to doubt the authenticity of the Quran by giving the ludicrous argument ‘as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was illiterate, how could he proof-read’. Did it not cross your mind that the sahaba could *read* what they wrote back to the Prophet for approval??! The Quran was not written down at one sitting, but it came down in stages and there was ample time for reading and revision to prevent errors in it’s 23-year span. Besides, How does being illiterate in any way compromise memory?
(for all interested see the book ‘The History of the Quranic Text, From Revelation to Compilation’ by M M al-Azami) While on this subject, do you not find it even a little extraordinary that an ‘illiterate’ can conjure up such a piece of literary mastery that is agreed upon by Arabs to be the best in their language?

4. Your allegation that Islam teaches that ‘Allah will not forgive anyone guilty of shirk’ …ever…makes me very suspicious of your supposedly ‘unbiased’ synopsis. How could you have missed the numerous assurances in the Quran : 25:70 ‘Excepted, however, shall be they who repent and believe and do righteous deeds: for it is they whose [erstwhile] bad deeds God will transform into good ones – seeing that God is indeed much-forgiving, a dispenser of grace,’. Most of the Prophet’s companions were idolators before Islam and he welcomed them with open arms saying they had chosen the path to Paradise.

5. You (and others in their comments) make sweeping statements about the early periods of Islam – it was rife with dissension, war and treason. This is baseless, how could the Muslim empire stretch from Indonesia to North Africa under a climate of civil strife? How could these countries remain Muslim to this day if they were not conquered by a stable force and country? For the benefit of Muslims who are perturbed by these allegations I will give an account from the history books recorded about the wars between the Muslim Companions (which is the period I believe you are referring to). When the Roman Emperor heard of the war between the Muslims he began to amass his troops at the border to take advantage of the situation. Muaviya (one of the Muslim sides) at once sent him a letter saying that if he makes any advances to attack the Islamic border he will join with the Caliph (whom he was challenging) Ali and be the first in the Caliphs army to defend with him. (Muaviya and the Historic Facts, Justice Taqi Usmani, p 243)

6. Another thing that doesn’t add up in your story is why you felt ‘remorse’ when you left the Mosque as a new Muslim. How could you launch yourself in such a pious and devout life, much more than Muslims with sound faith usually manage, learning every minutae of Islam, whilst you were still feeling ‘regret’??!!

7. the objection that as the Quran is complete and ‘an exposition of all things’ then what is the need for ahadeeth is an old one. The answer is very simple: in that ‘exposition of all things Allah incorporates the ahadeeth marvellously ‘5:92 Hence, obey God, and obey the Apostle, and be ever on your guard [against evil]; and if you turn away, then know that Our Apostle’s only duty is a clear delivery of the message [entrusted to him].’

8. To allege that ‘there is nothing new in Islam’ is another generalisation designed to confound the uninitiated. The similarities to Judaism and Christinanity is not something we are ashamed of since these religions were originally Revealed but had been corrupted and Allah sent Muhammed (peace and blessings be upon him) with the original message, to rectify the erroneous concepts that had seeped in. Consequently, in Islam you will find nothing of the weird notions of a God who ‘rests’ after creation and punishes the whole of mankind for the sin of one man (original sin) and Prophets who fornicate and murder, practise sorcery and idolatry (as David and Solomon are accused of doing). If your argument is to believed then what about the similarities between Judaism and Christianity, does it mean Jesus plagiarized from Judaism? What do they say to that?

9. The disdain of jews is evident because of their own actions. To allege that Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) turned on them because of their hatred of him is your twisted logic, since they are reprimanded by Allah mostly for what their people did way before Muhammad’s (peace and blessings be upon him) time such as disobeying Allah’s order to enter the city of Jerusalem, fashioning the calf to worship and breaking the Sabbath which they record in their own books.

10. To not recognise their enmity is naivety since they were the ones who tried to poison the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and reneged on their agreements with him and collaborated with his enemies. Furthermore the ayah’s about them are not to be applied to every single Jew ever to live (so it is not anti-semitism) but only about the few who openly declare their enmity towards Islam. For the rest, friendly relations are kept. The ayah in which Muslims are told not to befriend Jews and Christians refers to siding with them over/against Muslims, ie. Treachery which is universally acknowledged as despicable.

11. It is also in your befogged mind that Allah’s beautiful names, being simultaneously the ‘Most Merciful’, The Most Kind’, ‘the Subduer’ and ‘The Compeller’ could be construed as ‘ambivalence’. How else, I ask you, would you describe a Deity? A God is only worthy of worship if he is capable of ALL things, be they opposites. Besides, Allah is kind and merciful towards his devoted servants and ‘Subduing’ for his rebellious ones.

12. The fact that he displays wrath and simultaneously Love; does what He pleases; guides whom he wills; misguides whom He wants; changes things when he accepts prayers and ordains new things, abrogates others and commands angels to bow to Adam (which was out of respect anyway, not worship) shows that He is the God that you yearn for. For through these things He shows that He does what He pleases and possesses power over all things.

13. How can you arrive at the conclusion that His hands, feet, face etc. are like our own hands, feet, face etc.? His other ‘feelings’ are like our own flawed anger, hatred, sadness etc? Free is He from Imperfections!

14. To say that between Allah and his messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) there was an ‘uncanny’ resemblance which points to fact that Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) invented Him is similarly laughable. Never ever has this even crossed a Muslim’s mind and you are mischievously trying to plant it. What you see is that the Messenger obeyed Allah’s every command and became a picture of his Lords deen, which is what YOU interpret as ‘similarity’

15. ‘fictitious and cruel’ ?? ‘O MAN! What is it that lures thee away from thy bountiful Sustainer?’ 82:6
‘mediocre and uninspired’ and somehow inspires awe and possesses unrivalled beauty for millions around the globe for over 1400 years
‘founder deplorably barbaric and sinful’?? ‘He who is deprived of gentleness is deprived of good’
‘The best of you are they who are best in character’
‘Allah will not show mercy to him who does not show mercy to others’
‘If a daughter is born to a person and he brings her up well, I myself will stand between him and Hellfire’
To his persecutors on the day he conquered them: ‘Whoever enters the house of Abu Sufyan is safe. Whoever enters their own house is safe. Whoever enters the sacred Mosque is safe’ (basically everyone was given amnesty)

16. Your description of wudhu and salah is extremely unjust. What you describe as ‘looking at masculine buttocks’ is actually prostration – the ultimate act of worship and adoration. Wudu takes 5 minutes max. to perform and contrary to being a hindrance it is actually part of the beauty of Islam. If being clean and smelling nice is required decorum for visiting a lowly boss or acquaintances then why should it not be for praying to the Creator. Islam, praise be to Allah, is as rational as can be. Following an Imam (leader) in (congregational only) salaah is not ‘submitting to the automatic procedures constituted by mere mortals’ but a show of solidarity with other Muslims in and organised way with a leader. Islam, being such a comprehensive way of life ordained worship that has many benefits for Muslims in all areas of life.
17. Just because we don’t treat Allah’s Word as a doorstop or allow it to be ripped to shreds by Goths a la Bible does not mean it is somehow an ‘idol’. Again, your diseased mind contrues a beauty of the religion as a flaw. The fact that Muslims take their religion seriously is their failing is it?
18. There is a wondrous reason behind keeping the Quran in Arabic and it is abundantly clear when we see the fate of the Bible which has been translated so many times that the original is nowhere to be found. To preserve the purity is to preserve the language. The Prophet made it clear ‘No Arab has any precedence over a non-Arab’
19. What are you on about ‘ignoble’? How can you raise yourself above what man has been created to enjoy – fine food, rest, beauty, ease, goodness and amusement?? This is why Paradise will be full of such pleasures but Pure: 56:25 ‘Not frivolity will they hear therein, nor any taint of ill’.
20. Far from inviting to it, Islam seeks to purge mankind of all ignobility. This is the description of what Allahs calls ‘His Servants’: ‘they who walk gently on the earth, and who, whenever the foolish address them, reply with [words of] peace; and who remember their Sustainer far into the night, prostrating themselves and standing; and who pray: “O our Sustainer, avert from us the suffering of hell – for, verily, the suffering caused by it is bound to be a torment dire: verily, how evil an abode and a station!” and who, whenever they spend on others, are neither wasteful nor niggardly but [remember that] there is always a just mean between those [two extremes]; and who never invoke any diety alongside God, and do not take any human being’s life – [the life] which God has willed to be sacred – otherwise than in [the pursuit of] justice, and do not commit adultery….And those who never bear witness to what is false, and [who], whenever they pass by [people engaged in] frivolity, pass on with dignity;
21. To those people who allege that Islam’s first Caliph waged wars and murdered I would like to say that get your facts right. Those wars were the ‘Riddah’ wars which were fought against a lying Prophet alongside rebellions. Is not a country entitled to quash a rebellion in it’s lands? Yes tribes did apostasise and again it is a rebellion that is the duty of any King to quell.
22. The concept of Jihad has been clarified many times but it seems to fall on deaf ears. Instead of another lengthy reasoning I shall leave you with what the Quran says on the matter:

22:39 To those against whom war is made, permission is given (to fight), because they are wronged;- and verily, Allah is most powerful for their aid;- (They are) those who have been expelled from their homes in defiance of right,- (for no cause) except that they say, “our Lord is Allah’.. If Allah did not check one set of people by means of another, there would surely have been pulled down monasteries, churches, synagogues, and mosques, in which the name of Allah is commemorated in abundant measure. Allah will certainly aid those who aid his (cause);- for verily Allah is full of Strength, Exalted in Might, (able to enforce His Will).

The victors should be: ‘(They are) those who, if We establish them in the land, establish regular prayer and give regular charity, enjoin the right and forbid wrong: with Allah rests the end (and decision) of (all) affairs.’

2:190 ‘AND FIGHT in God’s cause against those who wage war against you, but do not commit aggression-for, verily, God does not love aggressors.’

(in War) (2:191)And slay them wherever you may come upon them, and drive them away from wherever they drove you away – for oppression is even worse than killing….But if they desist-behold, God is much-forgiving, a dispenser of grace. …..but if they desist, then all hostility shall cease,’

When there is an agreement: ‘(But the treaties are) not dissolved with those Pagans with whom ye have entered into alliance and who have not subsequently failed you in aught, nor aided any one against you. So fulfil your engagements with them to the end of their term: for Allah loveth the righteous.’ (9:4)

To that self-righteous person who smugly declares that she doesn’t condone fighting in the least and Islam is barbaric to do so, I give her what Allah says: 4:75 ‘And how could you refuse to fight in the cause of God and of the utterly helpless men and women and children who are crying, “O our Sustainer! Lead us forth [to freedom] out of this land whose people are oppressors, and raise for us, out of Thy grace, a protector, and raise for us, out of Thy grace, one who will bring us succour!”’

18 04 2007
Allah is Great

Something else I noticed:

How can you say you miss wudhu, after maligning it earlier? how can you miss salah whilst demeaning it? how can you ‘enjoy’ the obligations when they ‘shackled’ you? Are you for real?!
Dear readers, do not trust this man to give you a true account of the religion of islam.
It is obvious now that you never accepted Islam, and I may even go as far as to say that this is all fake, but even if you did once utter the shahada, you never experienced it, you never read the Quran, and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that you did not experience its beauty. Your allegations are way off the mark (as shown in my earlier post) and had you investigated with the right authorities all your objections would have become dust.
But maybe that wasn’t important to you…after all you needed some material to smear Islam with didn’t you?

16 09 2012
Lucifer Himself

There is no beauty in islam except for ugly beards and black tents.

19 04 2007

I love this article. it’s nice to see somebody realizing the true meaning and the truth about Islam. One thing I noted though is that the guy does not really understand Chrisitianity. As a christian, I tell you that we are not Polytheists as the author tries to put it. We are monotheists. We believe that God has revealed himself in Jesus. As matter of fact there are many verses in the Bible that speaks of worshiping only one God. If you ask any christian whether he/she is polytheists, they will tell you NO, and the reason is simple. the reason is that teh scripture tells us that there is only one God. I suggest for you to take a look at the Bible and read it. Hopefully you will see the light, God’s Love.

Lisa, I love your comments. don’t worry, no Muslim will be able to answer your questions. I have been debating with Muslims for quite sometime now, and I truely don’t think they can answer your questions.

For the Guy that listed the so-called miracles of the Quran, I suggest for you to do some research. Everything you have listed has been refuted. visit this link and read for yourself

21 04 2007
Allah is Great

Whatever. Lisa’s arguments are so weak that any Muslim doesn’t need to bother to refute them.

She self-righteously goes on about coming to the ‘love’ and ‘peace’ that Christianity embodies and likes to dig up and erroneously present ‘facts’ from the Muslim history. I’d like her to take her own advice and study the history of Christendom.

During the Spanish Inquisition 10,220 ‘heretic’s were burned and 97,321 tortured horrificly just because THEY WERE NOT CHRISTIANS. That included Jews, Muslims and all the others that didn’t agree. The apostates in yamamah were not sweet little people cowering away in their homes as Lisa would have you believe, but fully armed warriors that the Muslims faced in battle. What would Lisa do I wonder? Have herself speared whilst proclaiming ‘Love’ and ‘Peace for all?

What about the few words in the Bible ‘Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live’ that provoked a killing spree all over America and England that saw thousands upon thousands of innocent people burned at the stake (note it it is prohibited to burn ANYONE in islam, even as a ‘punishment’ and rightly so since it so gruesome). This is well-documented and all because these zealous Christians were acting on…well… the peaceful and loving orders of their Holy Book.

The crusades…Lisa my dear friend what will you say about these hmm? How dare you tell us to look at our own history and label us as murderers and terrorists when we look at the bloodbaths that the ‘Lords soldiers’ created in the cities they conquered. It is well known how every living person was exterminated when Antioch fell to them and similarly so were the inhabitants slaughtered in Jerusalem when they conquered it. Every One.

If you hide behind ‘ oh they weren’t TRUE Christians, and they weren’t acting on Christs teachings’ then prove it. It was the Pope who called for the crusades, priests and clergymen were part of it and Torquemada (the Spanish Inquisitor) was an extremely pious Christian who wore a monks robe, slept on a plank and didn’t eat meat.

Even if they weren’t then you will to accept it when we say in Islam today and in it’s history all the instances of murder, terrorism, injustice etc. are always committed by Muslims (assuming they are true and the facts are not twisted by your propanganda) who are going against the teachings of Islam and you try and smear the name of this Great religion by ignoring this.

24 04 2007

I am not very sure if I am really allowed to comment on this site. I never had a proper childhood as I was born different. Because of religion and fear of the unknown I was beaten like a dog. You would call it child abuse these days.
The following, part of an email my daughter sent to a family friend who was dying of cancer will give you a small idea of how different I am.
“In this world there are many things we do not understand, and perhaps even more that we learn to understand all too well. You know and have met my father. But perhaps you have seen but a small stream to a great waterfall. He has great powers of the mind, and also great powers of healing – so potent that it has in fact been tested to work across distance and numerous different ailments and adversities. He has cured the deaf and given sight to one who was blind. One who had cancer of the stomach came here before. His whole stomach had virtually been cut out. The doctors gave him days, at best months to live. He is now healthy, with no sign of cancer. That was over a year ago. You may not believe, but you have not seen what I have seen. And it is real. They are real.”
I think that religion is the biggest curse of mankond, the cause of human suffering and deaths throughout history. Religion has been used by men to further their selfish needs.
Just think. After a person dies would he retain the abilities of his brain to reason, feel hot ands cold, feel happiness and sadness? I think I know the truth but I do not think that I am allowed to interfere in peoples beliefs.
I once asked is there a god? (Spell god backwards and see what you get.) Someone or something answered “That is the biggest puzzle of the World in are in now”.

16 09 2012
Lucifer Himself

thumbs up!

24 04 2007
Margari Aziza Hill

Salaam alaikum,
The thing that I liked about Morocco was that they gave the greeting to everyone, no matter the creed. I was just dropping by. For religious people, someone leaving the faith or not towing the party line is the biggest threat. Their anger towards you is not at all about you, but about them and their weakness and insecurities. Kierkegaard writes that doubt is part of faith and one has to leap to faith. Perhaps you strike a chord in people who have are unsure in their leap. What happens if they miss the mark? Who will they be if the hopes and aspirations dissapear? What will their identity be? The more unsure they are, the angrier they become. I see it in a similar way as strict Muslims who are angered by non-practicing Muslims. Some Muslims want to see a world where everyone is living a monastic life in order to not feel the desire. If they really disliked carnal activities, they wouldn’t feel like they were missing out on something or giving up something. And they would be less prone to anger. If they were truly secure in their route, they would see people doing what they do and feel little (maybe some pity). They would then turn to activities that give them joy and be grateful (devotion and love). So what does that say about the condition of their faith?

I haven’t befriended many people who have left Islam, but I relate to many of your struggles. I have just had experiences in my life that of the unseen, and the irrational. Some of my experiences can’t be understood by positivist explanations.
Anyways my thoughts….

25 04 2007

I read why you left islam with great interest. At last, the truth has set you free. Islam is a religion tat preaches violence, hatred, love/peace.forgiveness/tolerance for and among muslims only, Rather bias, one sided, ubsecure, unpredictable, violent, and all alots of controversies, out-dated practices, narrow views, different/errorous interpretations and confusions. A religion of no return, no turning back and one way ticket to hell?

25 04 2007
Margari Aziza Hill

BTW, it is interesting to read what people who are not Muslim claim that all Muslims believe. That is not to say that there are strains of thought that are intolerant, but the essentialisms are pretty annoying.

26 04 2007

Abdul Quddus! Wa’alaikum,

You did not really know what tawheed means.
Tawheed, that’s include tawheed in Allah’s names and Attributes. You did not seem to understand this aspect of tawheed.

If your testimony is true, it seems to me you have followed the lead of Ja’d ibn Dirham and Jahm ibn Shofwan with regards to Allah’s names and attributes. But you did not only reject Allah’s attributes, you reject His existence as well. But why you do not sound like a happy atheist…

So, you had ideal God in your mind, and you once thought that Allah was your ideal God that existed in your mind. When you saw it’s different, you become dissapointed, and decide to reject Him.

Abdul Quddus, who you think knows Allah better? It is you, or Allah himself? You speak as if you knew God more than He knew Himself!

One think that I am pleased about Islam is it gives me a clear way to know my Creator. That is, through revelation.

There is none more knowledgeable about Allah than Himself, just as none among creation is more knowledgeable about Allah than His Messenger salallahu alaihi wassalam.

This is a matter of the unseen, and we are not allowed to talk about the unseen except with clear proof.

“And do not follow that of which you have no knowledge. Surely, the hearing, sight, and heart, about each of these you will be questioned.”

Speaking about Allah without knowledge is among the gravest sins.
“Say: What my Lord has forbidden you are all acts of indecency, whether commited openly or in secret, sin and wrongful oppression, that you associate with Allah that which has not been sanctioned by Him, and that you say concerning Allah something about which you have no knowledge.”

As for muslims, there are several principles with regard to
Allah’s names and attributes, which I am very happy with this alhamdulillah, as I did not see this in any other religions.
“We affirm Allah’s Attributes :
without Ta’teel – denying the meaning
without Tahreef – distorting the meaning
without Tashbeeh – likening to the creation
without Takyeef – asking how?”

As Syaikh ibn Taymiyyah rahimahullah says : “Concerning Allah’s attributes, Allah is primarily described by whatever He Himself or His Messenger sallalahu alaihi wassalam described Him by. Therefore, whatever He affirmed for Himself is affirmed and whatever he denied for himself is denied.”

Abdul Quddus! May Allah Al-Quddus guide you again. You do not sound happy with your atheism, nor with your apostate friends. Wallahu alam.

Allah needs nothing from you, He does not need your faith.
But you are in needs of Him in everything… If you have faith in Him it’s just for own benefit, and if you do not have faith in Him its just for your own lost.

Robbana laa tuzigh quluubana ba’daidz hadaitanaa wahhablana minladunka rahmah, innaka antal Wahhab.

26 04 2007

I wonder where Lisa is…

26 04 2007

O Muslims, May Allah reward you for your comments…and just like Rasul Allah salAllahu alayhi wa sallam said to the companion who became christian, “leave him be”.
Remeber those who are too arrogant to prostrate to Allah the Great because one day will come and they will wish they did, but of course, they will not be able too. La ilaha il Allah, wa law karihal kafiroon!

Wallahi this has only made us stronger in our faith, go on with your ramblings buddy…

16 09 2012
Lucifer Himself

yes please leave us alone and keep this cancer in your own countries.

26 04 2007

yes indeed, it’s only strengthen our faith walhamdulillah. Many previous nations were destroyed because they followed their own desire with regard to the Creator’s Attributes.
And here we found someone who reject The Creator just because it’s not confirm his own illusion about ideal God.

Who are we to determine that the Attributes of the Creator must confirm our idea about Him?!

“Our Lord, do not let our hearts go astray after You have guided us, and grant us mercy through Your own grace. You indeed are the generous granter”. Ameen

30 04 2007

Allah is Great, I agree with you. I am not denying that PEOPLE have done evil in the name of Chrisitanity, but the difference is that we are talking about a Prophet here not people. Lisa is attacking your prohpet not the Muslims. There is a big difference here. Sure, Muslims and Chrisitans have done evil things under the name of the religion which the Bible completely disapproves of, but the problem lies with Muhammad himself. Muhammad violated all 10 commandments. He killed, raped, ordered assasinations, and stole to accomplish what he wanted. Muhammad is the problem here. Muhammad set very bad examples for his followers when he married a 6 year old. I am not calling him a pedophile like some people would, but he is a prophet, and he should know that all Muslims will look at him as a great example. He also set a very bad example when he allowed sex slaves or Concubines. It’s in the Quran and it’s called right hand possession. Basically, if a Muslim army invades an area, and a Muslim finds a woman that they like, they are allowed to have sex with her. The Quran doesn’t state any other option. It simply says that Muslims are allowed to have sex with their captives. Just relax and think about this for a second. Do you think that a woman would want to have sex with you if you have just conqurered her land and killed her husband, brother or father? The woman would probably be terrified of you, but Allah doesn’t seem to care. Allah somehow allows the Muslims to do it. In anybody’s book, this would be called Rape, and it’s very shameful. Now, your prophet did it. If it was some group of Muslims, then I wouldn’t be so critical, but this is a prophet who supposely brought down a book from God. If this is truely who Allah is and this is what Allah allows, then I don’t really want to worship him, and I don’t think that Allah is the God of Ibrahim.

1 05 2007
Almost a Muslim

Thanks for the testimony.

I’m a Catholic and have always wondered about Islam to the point of almost becoming a Muslim. I should thank GOD for that little brain he gave me, so I could think!

I realized something that Jesus said: “There will be false prophets after me.” I don’t remember the verse, but that was enough for me to think deeper into Isalmic teachings.

Where’s forgiveness in Islam? Without forgiveness, this CANNOT be a religion. Islam is a SELFISH TRIBAL CULT.

Islam commands that a woman who comitted adultery be stoned, but Jesus would (and did) ask that she be forgiven.

And this man Mohammed dare say that his teaching “supercedes” all previous teachings?

Absolute BS!

And I remain a Christian. Firmly than before.

16 09 2012
Lucifer Himself

excellent! its good to be half demental than converting to an authorized one!

2 05 2007

For those who believe in one almighty God and creator, and in a day of judgement for all, the world religions offer more than one teacher of God’s word. Both Mohammed and Jesus claimed to tell the truth. Some of their teachings appear to be similar and some are not. I’m not a scholar in the teachings of either one. However, even a surface review of the character of the two men, makes one stand out as credible, and the other not credible.

Why would I trust the teachings of a man who appears to have broken all of God’s commandments, over the teaching of one who never sinned. God is the only one without sin. So by definition, Jesus is God. That should be enough for anyone to know who tells the truth. Lying is a sin. Jesus never sinned. Therefore, Jesus never lied.

Why would I trust the teachings of a man who received his messages through a third party (angel), over the teaching of one who heard directly from God? God spoke to His prophets directly. That alone eliminates Mohammed as a prophet.

Why would I trust the teachings of a man who died and stayed dead, over the teachings of one who was raised up to be with God?

Why would I trust the teachings of a man who killed other people, over the teachings of one who raised the dead and performed miraculous healings everywhere He went?

Why would I trust the teachings of a man who could not say for sure if any specific person would enter God’s kingdom, over the teachings of one who guaranteed salvation through Him (also the One who never sinned and therefore never lied).

Why would I trust the teachings of a book that erroneously says the sun sets in a mud puddle (a book containing obvious errors), over the teachings of a book of fulfilled prophesies?

I think people tend to make this far more difficult than it is. It’s really very simple to determine where to find the true word of God.

5 05 2007

Love, unconditional love is found in only One – the Lord Jesus Christ.
I trust the One who never sinned, who is the Word of God, who rose again from the dead, who healed the sick and raised the dead,who guaranteed salvation to those who believe in Him, whom all the prophets prophesied about. Yes, Bamboo, I agree with you.
The Law (Taurat) prophesies of Jesus. The Gospel (Injil) portrays Jesus. The Koran (Quran) claims to confirm all of it.
Human beings can fail you…let you down….deceive you…betray you…
There is only One who never fails. He is not an imaginery friend, but the Lord, the One who loves us with an everlasting love.

18 05 2007


You are riddled with contradictions but Insha Allah there is still hope for you. You stated Allah did not answer your du’a when you asked him to always keep you Muslim. I say to you it’s because you obviously stopped making that particular du’a. You turned your back on Allah and now he has left you in a world of confusion. If you are sincere in your search of the truth……..raise your hands to the sky and call out to your Lord to save yourself from the evil of your ownself . After you make that du’a take action because your situation will not change until you change yourself.

If Allah ever guides you back to Islam, I strongly suggest you consider moving to a Muslim country. Insha Allah it would be easier for you to practice Islam while surrounded by Muslims as opposed to Kufar. I, a Muslim American, am living in Riyadh and believe residing here has helped safe-gaurd my faith. I live beside a masjid and hear the athan daily….with each call it stregthens my faith. I wear the abayah proudly….as a form of worship to my creator. I have more opportunities to seek knowledge of my deen here among the countless Islamic Universities then I could ever have found in the US.

You are wasting your time with questions that bring no benefit. Use the intellect Allah has given you to help yourself and your deen, not harm it. The truth of Islam does not bring confusion; it brings clarity. When you are ready to sort yourself out, Allah is ready to forgive.
Out of curiosity I ask this question: Why have you kept your Muslim name, which represents one of the names of Allah? Two years after I reverted to Islam, I chose a name from the Saahaabiat and felt honored to do so. With the change of my non-Muslim name I felt complete…..ready to live my life as a Muslim and to be recognized as such. What’s in a name? Everything. It’s an integral part of your identity.

Tell me Ya Abdul-Quddus have you forgotten the meaning of your name?! No, I’m sure you haven’t so Insha Allah there’s still hope for you. Go back to the basics, start anew….rediscover Islam all over again. Your soul will thank you for it.

16 09 2012
Lucifer Himself

lol There are atheists who still have muhammad in their names and they have kept it. The name that is important is the birth name given by your parents and not the one you choose just cos of some stupid fuck had an arab name.

20 05 2007

Sumaiyah, what you are saying is that Abdul-Quddas must accept everything without question and without thinking. In this World everything must be questioned. In school we learnt that 1+1=2. In real life one plus one sometimes do not add up to two. Trying mixing one cubic foot of coarse sand with one cubin foot of fine sand. You will not get two cubic feet of sand.
Another thing is that you can be quite certain that Abdul-Quddus is not the author’s real name. For obvious reasons he cannot use his real name.
I am a not a muslim but living in a moderate muslim country. Anyone who says anything against Islam can expect a prison term. Apostates are usually jailed in a normal prison for up to 3 years and in some states they are sent to re-education camps which are as good as a prison for 3 years.

21 05 2007

Ok, in reply to Useyourbrains…….

I never said that Abdul-Quddus should accept everything without thinking and questioning. I am NOT of the opinion that Islam is not a “thinking person’s religion”! What I DID say was that he should stop asking questions that bring no benefit, like asking WHY does 1+1=2 and not 3?

Questioning is exactly what led me to Islam. I’ve been Muslim for seven years and I still question to this day. I ask until I understand completly. But when I ask, I ask with the intent to learn my religion, ask those with knowledge and ask with respect.

You have two intentions when questioning: Questioning with intent to learn or questioning with intent to harm. And for the majority of the apostates they are questioning to harm, nothing but rebel rousers.

If you don’t like a religion, to each his own, but if you come to a Muslim country, insult Islam openly and are thus imprisoned then rightly so! Use your brain! And if you openly declare you believe in a faith and then openly recant and are thus killed then rightly so! These are the laws of Allah (our creator) ……..who are we to supersede them?

Abdul-Quddus may or may not be the authors real name. Either way, my point is the author chose a MUSLIM name of which represents one of the 99 names of Allah…….the Lord of the religion he claims to have apostatized from. He still uses the Muslim greeting on his page and has linked Muslim websites. I say again his actions and words are contradictory and thus he cannot be trusted either as a Muslim or Non-Muslim. I believe he is throughly confused and has blinded himself by his nonsensical questioning.

May Allah help him sort himself out soon.

And what do you know of these re-education camps? And what do you know of the apostates back-ground? I say to you perhaps the camp is something that could benefit them IF they do exist and IF done with proper knowledge. Ignorance of our religion Islam is exactly what is causing some of the atrocities you see today.

But I will end the discussion here as I do not have time to debate. I found this site while researching another topic and do not plan to visit it again.

I ask that you keep an open mind about Islam and continue debating but with the intent to learn and find the truth.


25 05 2007

There is no point debating with Sumaiyah. He speaks and thinks like a typical brainwashed muslim.

29 05 2007

another typical apostate. search for the Truth, you will find nothing but Allah. search for logic, you will find nothing but the word of God. Religion is a doctrine, that can be used by politicians, socialists, scientists, feminists, athiests etc. Since it is the book of God, it can be interpreted in infinite ways. Stick with whatever way you may, just dont attack on some one. Thats the property of Quran! love, peace and tranquillity. Since it is the word of Lord, the infinite, His word is as infinite as Himself, since it is His word. If it was not for Him, His word would never be created. Lisa was targeting Islam. There you go Lisa, Islam is peace. You can interpret it as you want, how much more compassionate you can get. Allah’s compassion is as infinite as Himself.

2 06 2007
abu ameerah


Mr. Quddus, what a long treatise on absolute nothing. I am always amazed about how much crap people can come up with — if you give ’em enough time.

Dude, C’mon! The issues you raise are quite juvenile. Halfway through the middle of this I got to thinking that you copy-pasted half of this looooooong post from nonsense you read from the likes of Robert Spencer or Bernard Lewis. Or you could just have caught some of the rantings of other like minded disbelievers (irshad manji, ibn warraq, etc)…

Mr. Quddus…I find it strange that, even though you claim to be a free-thinking atheist, you sound so much like a typical Xtian missionary.

Finally, I think you are ultimately not the “tolerant” fun-loving guy you claim to be.

2 06 2007

Hey guy, what’s going on?!?

Where are the updates?

Hope all is well!

4 06 2007

An extremely eloquent testimony from someone who obviously knows a great deal about Islam – and found out the reality behind the apparent beauty and grace. Your detractors frankly sound like idiots.

Regardless of the mind-numbing nonsensical spew attempting to uphold Islam, the fact will remain that Islam is a man-made psychopathology which degrades women and human beings in general. You are exactly right in your assertions that Allah is Mohammed’s alter ego, nothing more, nothing less.

Hopefully many more of the sadly deluded will come out of their nightmare and embrace the life simple as a human beings.

6 06 2007

Hi Abdul,
First of all let me congratulate you for your freedon from insanity, intolerance and violence. Welcome to Humanity. Your pain and anguish through out the journey is well felt and thus depicted in here. I would like to point out a small correction to your testimonial(Which I am sure is due to mere ignorance not intentional).

Hinduism is the oldest region originated from Hindkush valley(as known then). Budhism, Jainism and Sikhism have evolved or you can say branched out of Hinduism. There are many literatures present to support this fact. Hence I think in your testimonial “Hinduism..even absorbed many elements of Buddhism.” is not correct to say. Rather the vice versa is correct.

Dont worry, I wont come hounding you and declare any sort of hindu fatwa aginst you, as I am not a fanatic blindly following a religion like Islam.

Once again, your testimonial was a good read.


11 06 2007
Khurram Aziz

I would like to congratulate you on your sincerity & courage & on the eloquence of your ramblings,& I hope you will continue on out of the pool of rampant lies, deception & ugliness of this religious cult to discover your own personal truth & freedom.

Funnily enough I myself was raised with Islam but saw through it at an early age, although I was unable to escape its poisonous soul-numbing effects for many years.I sought solace in Christianity at first & later in Buddhism — the other way around to you –so the grass really is greener lol!

Christianity turned out to be the lesser of the two evils with the accent on love & forgiveness, but imo is no less pernicious in terms of colonial expansionist drive than Islam, & fuelled by exactly the same paradigm of the “perfect man” whose way of salvation is the only one, or Judaism which is the mother of those terrible twins ( the Talmud is the xenophobic precursor to the Koran — Jews are encouraged to steal & kill gentiles/goyim–so of course nothing arises out of a vacuum!)

I spent nearly thirty years of my life searching for answers throughout all the major spiritual traditions on the planet; I studied the teachings & stayed in the company of of what many would consider the greatest modern spiritual teachers & gurus(hoaxes) & cults,& even a seldom anti-guru (who literally shocked my system with the truth of what is really going on!) , I was fed up with all the antiquated nonsense of all the organized religions had to offer & eventually tired of “spiritual shopping” in the New Age/Enlightenment circuit.What I noticed in myself was exactly the same dynamic you have described of “follow the leader” in EACH &EVERY single case, & exactly the same rampant lies & deception although in some cases extremely subtle!

I realized that my open-minded / indiscriminate following of others had its roots in my early childhood exposure to Islamic social & religious conditioning/indoctrination.

At the end I found the writings of a man called U.G.Krishnamurti extremely helpful in this respect — both extremely disturbing but also thoroughly purgative in effect, so that I could begin to free myself to from the straitjacket of religious & social indoctrination & find my own truth.
If you are ready to take this step into the truth please feel free to check out his stuff its all freely available on the internet.But be warned you will be thoroughly disillusioned but in the end it will be worth it!

I also found a very moving account of a man with a very rational & scientific bent called Mellen-Thomas Benedict, who had a NDE (Near-Death Experience) in 1982, with which I resonated very deeply when I read it as maybe you will, & intuitively it made complete sense to me regarding my own questions relating to the “Deity/Supreme Being/God” — a totally non-sectarian conscious omniscient ENERGY inextricably immanent in all creation .Please do go & see for yourself …www.mellen-thomas.com

I wish you all the best & support you & everyone like you in the search for REAL love truth & freedom without the constraining limits of social,religious & spiritual dogma

13 06 2007


Anyone wanting to be a muslim? I mean its a religion that preaches peace and humbleness. Allah is a passionate God so why do you resist Islam ??

Allah quotes on anyone who resists Islam
“ 13. And if any believe not in Allah and His Messenger, We have prepared, for those who reject Allah, a Blazing Fire!


3. And had it not been that Allah had decreed banishment for them, He would certainly have punished them in this world: And in the Hereafter they shall (certainly) have the Punishment of the Fire.

4. That is because they resisted Allah and His Messenger. and if any one resists Allah, verily Allah is severe in Punishment.


Once in there is no way out.

16 06 2007
Margari Aziza Hill

It is interesting how dogmatic some of the secular extremists are. They sound just as intolerant and essentializing as the fundamentalists that they are criticizing. Let us not forget that Christian extremism and Christian based racial hatreds (i.e. Western Europeans against Africans and native Americans, and the Nazis). At the same time, history has witnessed rational secular governments kill millions (Soviet Union and China). I don’t think that Muslims have a lock on extremism and on ideologies that promote intolerance. Every ideology creates an “other.” None of the critics of Islam have overcome that in their meek attempts of developing a transcendental faith.

But it is possible to create a space where we can regonize difference, and the various ways that people make sense of their world–whether through religious myths, symbols, and practice or through scientific thinking– without demeaning each other. The issue is how to mediate those aspects of a religion as a social structure that impose upon the will and freedoms of others. I guess that would be the last thing that I will say, because otherwise I do not find this type of dialogue constructive towards creating a better and more peaceful world.

17 06 2007
Margari Aziza Hill

I meant the Nazi hatred of Jews, Gypsies, Africans, etc… Europe has been historically anti-Semitic. One reason is that they blamed the Jews for killing Jesus, even though it was the Roman state that crucified them. Ironic, since many Western thinkers claim to be the inheritors of Greco-Roman traditions.

26 06 2007

Congrats on leaving islam. Best of wishes,


1 07 2007
saif ahmed

I also left Islam. Thanks goes to khalas and faithfreedom.org

19 07 2007
Peace be Upon the Messengers


You should know that Muhammed (peace be upon him) never lied either. His enemies – his own tribe – attested to this fact and called him by the titles ‘The trustworthy’ and the ‘Truthful’. And what ’10 commandment’s did he break allegedly? Firstly, why do you seek to impose the commandments which are the standard of another religion as a measure for ‘goodness’. The Prophet and his family was banished to a wilderness for three years and had so little food that they had to resort to leaves to eat, his companions were speared, tortured, starved, brutalised, murdered, scalded and burned simply for their faith for a period of thirteen years and when he gained power he was always threatened with an army from that camp and tribes around the city. His only ‘crime’ is to seek to defend his city, fortify it and seek redress for all the cruelty that he and his friends were subject to all those years and would be put to again if his enemies were given half a chance.

People, you love to point out the wars he fought, but conveniently forget their context and the justification. This small fledgling community would have been annihilated had he not defended their soveriegnty. Any world leader with half a brain would do the smae, and even the Christians had to do it when they were threatened and left the ‘peaceful’ teachings as soon as they could when they needed to get Jerusalem back. Defense is a basic human instinct. Now the Christians have simply got the Republicans to do their dirty work for them, and so keep the facade of peace-loving people.

Somebody said Jesus did forgive an adulterer. But so did Muhammad. What I see is that a bunch of idiots who know nothing about the character they are vilifying, are fed one-sided accounts of his life and believe it to be the truth. If that is not dogmatic then I don’t know what is.

It is a famous story of his companion Maa’iz. He came to the Prophet, said he had committed adultery and that he was ready for the punishment. The Prophet turned his face away, pretending he didn’t hear out of mercy. Maa’iz came to the other side and repeated his confession. The Prophet turned his face again, hoping he would go but Maa’iz did the same again. After that the Prophet did turned his face a third time. Yet again Maa’iz came to other side and confessed after which the Prophet peace be upon him had no choice but to accept, and had Maa’iz taken the three chances he gave him, he would have been free.

And so what if the Angel Gabriel brought the message to the Prophet. Surely as a christian you are aware that the Angel was ‘part’ of God. So by your twisted logic, ‘God’ did in fact speak to him.

It is a stupid assertion that has no bearing on whether the Message really was from Allah or not, since a message is essentially someones word. And anyway, that Jesus really spoke to God or not is irrevelent, because YOU know only about that through the Gospel writers. Who definitely ARE a fallible third party. So maybe there was nothing between God and Jesus, but there is a huge gap between Jesus and you, so what can you be sure of? that third party of Luke Mathew et al.??

We don’t WORSHIP Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him. Islam is the true religion and makes a distinction between God and Man. Otherwise whats the point? So that Muhammad died is nothing to detract from him, since we worship God alone. Since when did dying ever lessen a mans integrity? So Lincoln, Roosevelt, Mother Teresa, Diana, Rockefeller are all a bunch of lying no-gooders now – just because they died?

You are so foolish, if Muhammad was ‘God’ then he died, you could have a point, but since he’s not, he was always human – it doesn’t make a difference.

Any specific person enter God kingdom? How about ‘Any who denieth Allah, His angels, His Books, His Messenger., and the Day of Judgment, hath gone far, far astray.’ and ‘ :25 But give glad tidings to those who believe and work righteousness, that their portion is Gardens, beneath which rivers flow.’

And as for which prophesies came true and which didn’t then you can read ‘The Bible, Quran and Science’ by Maurice Bucaille and watch this video here: http://www.islamicity.com/islamitv/default.asp?ref=3133.

Setting in a Mud puddle…ever heard of a metaphor?

Last thing, to those who think Muslims are silly because they can’t take people trashing their religion and Prophet well then I say that it’s a phenomenon called ‘dignity’. Why are there libel laws in Britain and America?

We take our religion seriously, we love it more than we love our spouses and our parents. What would you do when your Dad is called a pedophile or your Mom a whore? Hmm..a great many of you would end up in jail for assault I say. No doubt. In fact, if you didn’t say or do anything you would forever chide yourself for not standing up for your parents when they were being besmirched.

Lastly, mindless rioting and street thrashing is not condoned in Islam so if Muslims do that in reaction than it is not ‘Islamic’ behaviour, but simple thuggery. It is unfortunate that Islam’s name gets soiled by such acts.

5 11 2009

Peace be. . . .

You said Muhammad never lied. He was a pschopathic liar and an international human rights criminal. All you need to prove that is to read the myth of the Night Journey and the history of the Dome of the Rock.

If you believe that fable, you qualify as a “good” Muslim.

7 11 2009
Yaqub (James)

Chaplain, please present your proofs, otherwise keep your straw man arguments to yourself.

4 08 2007

Islam is peace:

Concerning other monotheist religions:

Not all of them are alike; a party of the people of the Scripture stand for the right, they recite the Verses of God during the hours of the night, prostrating themselves in prayer. They believe in God and the Last Day; they enjoin Al-Ma’rûf and forbid Al-Munkar ; and they hasten in (all) good works; and they are among the righteous. And whatever good they do, nothing will be rejected of them; for God knows well those who are Al-Muttaqûn .(3:113-115)

And there are, certainly, among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians), those who believe in God and in that which has been revealed to you, and in that which has been revealed to them, humbling themselves before God. They do not sell the Verses of God for a little price, for them is a reward with their Lord. Surely, God is Swift in account. ‘(3:199)’

Verily! Those who believe and those who are Jews and Christians, and Sabians, whoever believes in God and the Last Day and do righteous good deeds shall have their reward with their Lord, on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve . 2:62

Say (O Muhammad ): “O people of the Scripture : Come to a word that is just between us and you, that we worship none but God, and that we associate no partners with Him, and that none of us shall take others as lords besides God. 3:64

Concerning freedom:

2:256 There is no compulsion in religion, for the right way is clearly from the wrong way. Whoever therefore rejects the forces of evil and believes in God, he has taken hold of a support most unfailing, which shall never give way, for God is All Hearing and Knowing.

16:82 But if they turn away from you, (O Prophet remember that) your only duty is a clear delivery of the Message (entrusted to you).

6:107 Yet if God had so willed, they would not have ascribed Divinity to aught besides him; hence, We have not made you their keeper, nor are you (of your own choice) a guardian over them.

4:79 80 (Say to everyone of them,) ‘Whatever good betides you is from God and whatever evil betides you is from your own self and that We have (O Prophet) sent you to mankind only as a messenger and all sufficing is God as witness. Whoso obeys the Messenger, he indeed obeys God. And for those who turn away, We have not sent you as a keeper.”

11:28 (Noah to his people) He (Noah) said “O my people! think over it! If 1 act upon a clear direction from my Lord who has bestowed on me from Himself the Merciful talent of seeing the right way, a way which you cannot see for yourself, does it follow that we can force you to take the right path when you definitely decline to take it?°

17:53, 54 And tell my servants that they should speak in a most kindly manner (unto those who do not share their beliefs). Verily, Satan is always ready to stir up discord between men; for verily; Satan is mans foe …. Hence, We have not sent you (Unto men O Prophet) with power to determine their Faith.

21:107 to 109 (O Prophet?) ‘We have not sent you except to be a mercy to all mankind:” Declare, “Verily, what is revealed to me is this, your God is the only One God, so is it not up to you to bow down to Him?’ But if they turn away then say, “I have delivered the Truth in a manner clear to one and all, and I know not whether the promised hour (of Judgment) is near or far.”

22:67 To every people have We appointed ceremonial rites (of prayer) which they observe; therefore, let them not wrangle over this matter with you, but bid them to turn to your Lord (since that is the main objective of religion). You indeed are rightly guided. But if they still dispute you in this matter, (then say,) `God best knows (the value of) what you do.”

88:21 22; also see 24:54 And so, (O Prophet!) exhort them your task is only to exhort; you cannot compel them to believe.

48:28 He it is Who has sent forth His Messenger with the (task of spreading) Guidance and the Religion of Truth, to the end that tie make it prevail over every (false) religion, and none can bear witness to the Truth as God does.

36:16 17 (Three Messengers to their people)Said (the Messengers), “Our Sustainer knows that we have indeed been sent unto you, but we are not bound to more than clearly deliver the Message entrusted to us.’

39:41 Assuredly, We have sent down the Book to you in right form for the good of man. Whoso guided himself by it does so to his own advantage, and whoso turns away from it does so at his own loss. You certainly are not their keeper.

42:6 48 And whoso takes for patrons others besides God, over them does God keep a watch. Mark, you are not a keeper over them. But if they turn aside from you (do not get disheartened), for We have not sent you to be a keeper over them; your task is but to preach ….

64:12 Obey God then and obey the Messenger, but if you turn away (no blame shall attach to our Messenger), for the duty of Our Messenger is just to deliver the message.

67:25 26 And they ask, “When shall the promise be fulfilled if you speak the Truth?” Say, “The knowledge of it is verily with God alone, and verily I am but a plain warner.”

Meanwhile concerning justice:

[O you who believe! Stand out for justice, as witnesses to Allah, and even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor.] (An-Nisaa’ 4:134)

[O you who believe! Stand out firmly for Allah, as witnesses to fair dealing, and let not the hatred of others to you make you swerve to wrong and depart from justice. Be just: that is next to piety and fear Allah, for Allah is well acquainted with all that you do.] (Al-Ma’idah 5:8)

[And thus We (Allah) made of you (O Muslims) a justly balanced community that you might bear witness (to the truth) to humankind and the Apostle might bear witness over you.] (Al-Baqarah 2:143

Concerning propagation:

[Invite (all humankind) to the path of your Lord with wisdom and goodly exhortation and argue with them in the most kindly manner, for, indeed, your Lord knows best as to who strays from His path, and best who are the right-guided.] (An-Nahl 16:125)

[Had your Lord so willed, all those who live on earth would surely have attained faith, will you then compel people, against their will, to believe?] (Yunus 10:99)

[And (thus, O Muhammad), We have not sent you, but as mercy to all the worlds.] (Al-Anbiyaa’ 21:107)

Concerning who we fight or don’t:

[As for such (non-Muslims) who do not fight you on account of (your) faith, or drive you forth from your homelands, God does not forbid you to show them kindness (also love and respect) and to deal with them with equity, for God loves those who act equitably. God only forbids you to turn in friendship towards such as fight against you because of (your) faith and drive you forth from your homelands or aid (others) in driving you forth. As for those from among you who turn towards them for alliance, it is they who are wrongdoers.] (Al-Mumtahanah 60:8-9)

[Permission (to fight) is given to those against whom war is being wrongfully waged, and verily, God has indeed the power to aid them. Those who have been driven from their homelands in defiance of right for no other reason than their saying, ‘Our Lord is Allah.’] (Al-Hajj 22:39-40)

7 08 2007

mohamed please seek professional help soon.

9 08 2007
Ahle Sunnah Uprising

To the author of this blog,

Although, as a Muslim I don’t agree with your view of Islam, I have to respect you because you have taken a more academic and mature approach to this and unlike others, you have not called Muslims insulting names.

However, every single one of your negative views of Islam has been answered by Muslim Scholars for centuries. It’s funny when someone starts a blog or makes a video on YouTube highlighting apparent flaws and negatives about the religion of Islam, they mention stuff that have been answered many times before, but act as if it’s something groundbreaking.

I once went to a Q & A and someone (a Christian I think) mentioned several apparent flaws in Islam and acted like as if he said something amazing that he would turn Muslims away from Islam. I have to admit the guys arguments sounded pretty good and I thought to myself, “this guy knows his stuff”. However, The Muslim scholar has heard every single criticism about Islam and emphatically refuted all the accusations. On another occasion, a Muslim scholar even named the books and authors from where one members of the audience got his arguments against Islam from.

I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but so far I have not heard a single criticism that hasn’t been emphatically refuted by an Islamic and sometimes a non-Islamic Scholar.

Another point is that it is impossible to judge and feel the beauty of a Ferrari by driving back and forward in your driveway. To fully understand Islam and its beauties, you have to live the Islamic way and live with proper Muslims. If you live in a family with half practicing Muslims then you won’t have felt what it means to be a Muslim. Just ask any Muslim how peaceful they feel during Ramadan (when most people are practicing Islam properly) compared to other times of the year (when most are not practicing Islam properly)

PS: I hope I haven’t offended anyone. I’m new to this blog thing so forgive me if I do sound a bit harsh. Honestly, I wrote this with a good heart. I just wanted to share my experience on this issue.


15 08 2007
Jamal Qanuni

I read philosophy and do not feel strange with the arguments of atheists. The whole existentialist movement has expressed the reasons for n against ‘faith’. They did so eloquently. Your tone is not ‘right’. Your origins (‘somewhere near the Caribbean) does not sound genuine while the voice of the sceptic without reference to cultural context is very unlike the experince from ‘someone from near the Caribbean’ (as is the Buddist thing).
On my shelves are a few 19th century classics. All are by eminent English Orientalist. You say what they said (but they knew Arabic). Your cultural prejudices are Euro-centric (again unlike someone from ‘near the Caribbean’). Many cultures eat with their hands: why should this be an issue regarding faith?
We live in very hostile times. Anyone can make a name and a blog and appear like Voltaire after a Ghazali journey. I have doubts. They are about your intentions and identity.

22 08 2007
Your an *******

Wow , u gotta b a pure idiot 2 come up wid such shit …
must say readin ur dumb post was an awful xperience .
u wer born 2 foolish parents whu didnt hav faith in their own religion , the result was a bigger confused ass in ur form .

1 09 2007

He converted went to the mosque got bombarded with hadiths and became a sectarian Sunni/Shia and went through the ol’ salafi backlash. He probably never really understood the Quran since Bukhari had to teach him it. Islam is peace. He hanged around the wrong crowd that dominate the mosques.

He should have stayed away from other sectarian Muslims. I know, I have been there. Even though I read and recited the Quran, I had so much baggage about what islam is that I was not actually reading. I now know that the Quran is all about freedom. There is nothing called an islamic state or imamate or death to apostates in islam. This was all the invention of the Abbasid era the clerics poisoned us with. I read about what happened in Judaism and Christianity. Its always 2 to 3 centuries later things become orthodox and stuff gets added and edited from the faith.

39:41 “Assuredly, We have sent down the Book to you in right form for the good of man. Whoso guided himself by it does so to his own advantage, and whoso turns away from it does so at his own loss. You certainly are not their keeper”.

Islam is peace.

14 09 2007
Left Islam

I warn all the devils here that the following will hurt you and maybe crush you. I personally know 832 former christians who turned to Islam. Also, 73 jews and 267 Hindus. So if one bound for hell person converts then Allah will give Islam to 10 others who deserve it more than the one who left it. So please do continue to show your hatred toward Islam here, it only strengthens us more.

5 11 2009

If there is no compulsion to religion,why are all these Muslims so upset about? The guy who said he knows all these hundreds of people who have
abandoned their religions to become Muslims is using hyperbole.

2 10 2007

Thanks for the thoughtful and thorough story or your journey out of Islam. I was a Christian for than 40 years. I found this “faith” myself and was not indoctrinated into it from birth as many people of almost all religions are. Over the past 10 years or so I have come to repudiate Christianity as “the Truth”. The reasons are many and complex but the process I went through was almost exactly the same as the one you described in your journey. With the exception of the violent hatred espoused in Islam toward all Unbelievers, there is very little difference between your journey and mine. And historically Christianity has been just as violent and intolerant as Islam now is and Judaism once was (Perhaps the ealiest documented acts of genocide and ethnic cleansing are found in the Old Testament by the Children of Israel against the Canaanites and these were on the express orders of “God”)

Like you I miss many of the comforts and the community of being a believer and like you I have been told by other believers that I “think too much”. But at the same time I am relieved that my intellectual honesty has been restored and justified. I now consider myself an athiest who wishes there were a loving God. My religion is Mankind and a love for the creation around me. An Afterlife may or not be real but this Life is definitely real. Why would any sensible person want to escape what is real for something which probably doesn’t exist? How can we deal with the problems of this world if our minds are only on the next? I cannot shake the hand of Gods or angels but I can shake the hand of my neighbor and help to lift someone who has fallen. Theologians tell us that God/Yahweh/Allah is all-wise and all-powerful and has no need of anything from us humans. Our brothers and sisters, on the other hand, need us and we need them. Let’s turn our hearts and minds to them and away from the ancient myths that would teach us to hate and fear each other.

2 11 2007
elias from lebanon

to musulmana
tell me did u learn quran in english or in arabic ?
am an arabic man and i read quran in arabic language , the original so i didn’t find anything good in quran and in mohamad’ life all i found kills,hates, sex with slaves , sex with child ….. tell u moron where is the good things in mohammad’s life ? u said u didn’t learn islam from imams so u educated ur self by ur self and u read quran and u find the truth in this religion of peace oh yea i believe that . tell me u read the other muslims books “ahadith” if u read this u will find the hate and the other sex verses.
so like i said am an arabic man u stupid girl and i know islam more than u because he is originaly written in arabic not the fake’s one in ur hand
so don’t tell me go away and learn islam .
god bless u

10 11 2007

This post by “sorry I forgot your name and now can’t find it again”….

“I began to realise that the only system I could agree with was the Noachide one; its laws are very simple and inclusive. Honour God, be faithful to your spouse, be honest in your dealings with your fellow man, do no evil, treat nature with respect, and maintain a sytem of justice. That’s probably enough.”
I ask you, why can I not “maintain the system of justice, abide by the law of the land, be faithful to my spouse and honest to my fellow human beings, do no evil, treat nature with respect.. etc… WITHOUT A GOD??? I ask you…

3 12 2007

you got a big vocabulary for a high school drop out, good for you
i think that there are a couple holes in your story though, im not going to point them out but a good effort, really.

4 12 2007

I am glad that you have left the cult of Islam. I found a couple of your statements to be strange.

“I’d estimate that 99.99% of believers adhere to a particular religion, not by choice, but because their parents indoctrinated them.”

I am a 29 year old Christian who was raised in a Christian home. I did have a choice whether or not to accept Jesus Christ as my savior. I did not accept him because my Mother is a Christian or because I went to church. I accepted Christ because I have felt him call me. I accepted him because of the lives that have been changed my life because of him. I have seen real prayers answered and real things changed because of Jesus Christ. There is no other way to Heaven but through Jesus.

“Although disciplined and strict, the warmth and compassion received from this God-fearing family I would consider ideal and exemplary in a world void of.”

The above quote is talking about the family whose son was your friend. Why did you not persue this? I know that you “tried out” Christianity and “didn’t like it” or whatever. You were searching for a religion. A religion is simply the human attempt to get to God, which is hopeless. Christianity is not a religion it is a relationship. A relationship with your creator who loved us, all of us, so much that he died to set us free.

“The time has come for adults to grow-up and discard their imaginary friends.”

I am an adult and I have never had any imaginary friends. I’d invite you to seek out a RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ. You will then find what you have been searching for.

22 01 2008
Abdul Logic

Thanks a lot. That was a heart-touching testimoney specially for westerners.
As fo muslims who have grown and been educated in Islmic countries ( specially in ME ) the attraction and eye-blinding aspects of Islam and Quran is something totally different from what we read here.
As an ex Muslim from an islamic country, I’m going to poste my testimony of leaving Islam in a proper time and there, I’ll explain why is it so difficult to Muslims to see the clear facts.
Here I just quote a poem from a poet although not about our case but in general.

The facts are like neat and clean buliding.
Passion are juts like a mist of dust.
Don’t you see when a mist of dust rises,
Man can not see although he is seeing?!

in the case of Muslims ( or any other religion) something acts as the mist.

Thanks all the posters and the readers.

24 01 2008
Nicholas Hill


I can clearly see your excellent use of logic and reason in deducing the correct path in your life. You have seen both good and bad examples of the way people live in different religions, and I respect it. There are many who simply adhere to the first religion taught to them, as if “any will do”. We both know that religions exclude each other – which is why you can’t be a muslim and a christian at the same time. Ultimately, man has to make a choice – to be an atheist and not believe in God, to be an agnostic and believe the answer will come some day, to be a Christian at the expense of other religions, to be a Muslim at the expense of other religions, etc.

I do not doubt your sincerity in finding God. You have made it most obvious. I must ask, however, if you have totally given up? After having gone through so much in terms of bad examples, is there nothing else that you would consider? I am a Christian, it is obvious (to me) that God exists and exactly why, but a significant proportion of my non christian friends are total athiests. Merely checking their Religious Views on Facebook allows me to conclude that they are in active rebellion rather than simply not believing.

Let me conclude by asking: Have passionate words lost meaning for you? If not, then feel this: God loves you and is after you with a reckless abandon, but He will never force anything on you. He never changes, He is the same forever. He is the cause of the Universe and yet really cares about you. I wrote this in a hope to enter dialogue, in which case please email me back, but in either case, examine your own heart; is it hard? If not, ask God to which name he answers – is it Bhudda? Is it Allah? Is is Jesus? Come up with a creative way to know the answer. I would love to hear from you.

Nick Hill

6 02 2008

everybody in every centuries do evil things.
some of them said, they did this because one or some supranatural being[s] called gods, or God, or Allah made me do what i do.
some other just plainly do all that evil out of their own will.

by referencing to “everybody” i mean that includes peoples of great religions, Judaism, Christian n Islam alikes.
so there’re many so-called “christians” or “moslems” did do many evil things in the past as they hv still been doing nowadays.

every n each of these peoples are almost always do that evil out of their own agendas, but scapegoated the reason to another subject, be it their “Yahweh”, “God” or “Allah”.
now i read some moslems here wrote an apology for the wars, brutalities n intolerance that their brothers [or themselves] did in the past, do right now or even will do in the future is just for the sake of self-defense.
in some cases, this might be true … but the hard fact i knew [as happening in many countries including mine _the most populous moslem’s country_ these days] is mostly because of the teaching of mohammed in alQur’an.

let’s look this verses:

[8.12] When thy Lord inspired the angels, (saying:) I am with you. So make those who believe stand firm. I will throw fear into the hearts of those who disbelieve. Then smite the necks and smite of them each finger.

[8.65] O Prophet! Exhort the believers to fight. If there be of you twenty steadfast they shall overcome two hundred, and if there be of you a hundred steadfast they shall overcome a thousand of those who disbelieve, because they (the disbelievers) are a folk without intelligence

then wasn’t it true to say that everybody hv their own reason to do evil, but moslems hv their “extra privilege” to do that from their prophet’s teaching …???

12 02 2008
Another Apostate

What the hell is wrong with you believers? Don’t you understand? Have you not even attempted to question your beliefs AT ALL? God, the sheer bullheadedness of your comments is so enraging!

Seriously, since you Christians seem to have great relationships with Jesus, do you mind explaining why he comes across as such an asshole in the Bible (it’s true – he’s not always a fantastic guy)? You know, where he’s really mean to his own mother? Or how about where he demands that a fig tree be cut down because it was barren?

And to you idiot Muslims who come here with your appalling lack of logic and your Quar’anic quotes: I shudder to think what future generations of humans, freed from the shackles of folkloric fantasy, are going to say when they read your screeds on some Internet archive some 500 years from now. Thank you so much for proving that roughly half of humanity is functionally retarded.

YOU! You, Koranist. What the bitch are you talking about? Do you have ANY CLUE what’s IN the Qur’an? Do you know what is contained in the hadith? No, really, have you ever read a single piece of Islamic literature? Islam is only peace as long as you don’t know a damn thing about it. If you’ve taken even the smallest amount of time to examine, to truly study, the documents that form that basis of this religion, you would know that there is nothing peaceful about it. Nothing. Honestly, I don’t even understand how some of you people manage to log into a computer and open a web browser, much less find a site like this a type up an empty-headed comment. “Oh, you must have gotten bombarded with hadith” – you THINK? Well, if Islam is so fucking peaceful, don’t you think the hadith might have overwhelmed this author with a sense of well-being and… oh, I don’t know, PEACE?

A religion built upon horrifically violent verse is not a peaceful religion. Islam is NOT a peaceful religion.

And you, Ahle Sunnah Uprising: oh? Everything here has been answered before by Islamic scholars? Fabulous. Care to quote any of it? Anything in particular that’s been “addressed” by “scholars” before that you’d like to “repudiate” for us here? No? Oh, I guess that’s because you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. Don’t get me wrong – you are very polite and that’s nice and all, but you can’t just waltz into a comment section and say “Oh, wow, all these points that you raised have actually been disproved. I saw it once, at this one place.” Cite something, for goodness sake. Unless you can’t, which would be my guess.

And to Margari Aziza Hill – you seem very nice, and I’d like to sort of apologize on behalf of atheists for coming across as spiteful and dogmatic. If you know much about atheists, you’ll know that we really can’t be dogmatic, because our believes are grounded in FACT. We don’t believe in things that can’t be backed up by science. Oh, there are some theories we may adhere to that aren’t 100% proven, but they are backed by some kind of scientific research or evidence of some kind, and we’re willing to admit that these theories might be wrong. The reason we seem so rabid over these issues is because we simply don’t accept the idea that believing something that is utterly unprovable is somehow an admirable trait. Yet we are consistently met with resistance to intelligent conversation about issues like existence, the meaning of life and death, the importance and responsibilities of the human race, etc. – because for so much of humanity, the entire thing boils down to an argument that can be summarized as “My God said so, nyah nyah nyah!”. You can’t argue with people who have no concept of logic – it’s like arguing with the mentally incapacitated. Can you see where we would be frustrated?

Finally, this quote set me on edge: “We take our religion seriously, we love it more than we love our spouses and our parents. What would you do when your Dad is called a pedophile or your Mom a whore?”

Well, you asshat, it’s incredibly sad to me that you would love a fictional god over your own parents or your spouse. I suppose that means that you would choose your religion over your own mother? Thank goodness there is no god, because it’s so sad to imagine you forsaking the woman who raised you if hypothetical-god asked you to. As he no doubt would, eventually, given evidence of god personalities from the Old Testament.

12 02 2008

Seriously, since you Christians seem to have great relationships with Jesus, do you mind explaining why he comes across as such an asshole in the Bible (it’s true – he’s not always a fantastic guy)? You know, where he’s really mean to his own mother? Or how about where he demands that a fig tree be cut down because it was barren?

n what is it that u do really want to know about?

what’s wrong with His mother?
or His behaviour toward her that u mean?
what part exactly that was wrong, anyway …?
n as far as i can recall, He made that fig tree drop dead just with one sentence, not demanded it be cut down!

are u going to ‘catch a glimpse’ on the accounts if ever somebody could explain it to u, since there was nothing scientific in it AT ALL … ??? :))

20 03 2008
Horatio Hufnagel

Brilliant! You are very articulate. I too am an apostate, although I was born Muslim. Like you, I found much good in Islam – rejection of absolute human authority, strict adherence to faith, and so on. The reason I left Islam was not so much my anger with it (although that is part of it; I didn’t like how we weren’t meant to praise or thank anybody except for Allah, not even ourselves!), but just the general absurdity of religion in general.

Peace 😉

12 04 2008


I may come back to refute some claims, if time permits, but one issue of concern that I would like to point out is that one (Muslim or not) cannot take ayahs from the Quran directly and claim to know what it means. You need to contextualize it by the time and events according to when it was revealed as well as utilizing the additional haadiths (sayings) of our prophet Muhammad (saw)….otherwise you shall find much conflict in what you read. Again let me repeat the Quranic ayahs are not meant to be understood by any person, one has to be “qualified” to understand. A first quality of such a person is one whose heart lies sincerity for truth, another would be one who is proficient in the Arabic language (as the Quran was not revealed into English) and so forth. Hopefully the following site will be of some use:http://www.islamonline.net/English/introducingislam/Quran/article03.shtml


14 04 2008

I pray that all ex-muslims find a way to look into their hearts and really think, because the more you question Allah, the more questions arise, and God said himself that don’t ask too many questions because our minds are limited, and these questions give rise to doubts, over which the devil takes control, then guides people to go astray. Allah doesn’t want us to NOT as questions because there is something to hide, but only because we don’t build up doubt. Ask any athiest how the world came into being, and they answer “we don’t care” only beacuse there is less burden, less responsibilities and less restrictions. But they do know that there is ONE devine power that has made all this (the earth, heavens, the sky, the universe) and if there were to be many other gods, the world would never exist, due to the constant fighting between the numerous gods over who has the most power (eg. posiedon was jealous of Zeus…now thats myth!)

i pray that you and all other non-believers are guided by Allah, for on the day of judgement, you WILL be the ones who are going to cry the most, for after choosing the religion, which could’ve guided you to heaven, you left it only because you had too many questions which shouldn’t be asked, since they lead you to doubt and then on the wrong path. May Allah have mercy on your poor soul ! for Hell is nothing soft or to be ignored!

15 04 2008

hello again …

i would like to ask A2L if u mean that Islam now let the infidels [i.e. murtadeen = the one who leave Islam] to live his life, whether he choose another religion or not, peacefully?

so what about this another ayah …?

They but wish that ye should reject Faith, as they do, and thus be on the same footing (as they): But take not friends from their ranks until they flee in the way of Allah (From what is forbidden). But if they turn renegades, seize them and slay them wherever ye find them; and (in any case) take no friends or helpers from their ranks;-

yes u’re right in one thing, that Islam was not revealed in English.
so if one could read quranic Arabic, i wonder if he would not shiver by brutality n cruelty in its purest form.

what more context it needs to do a tafseer if it has also been backed-up by several hadith sahih like: Bukhari, Muslim n Sunan Abu Dawood …?
or by book like Sirat Rasul’allah by Ibn Ishak/Ibn Hisham, or by another book by At-Tabari …???

i believe, Eternity is not something to be playing with … !!!

wassalammu’alaikum …

1 06 2008

It is a pity you didn’t pay more attention to the Jehovah’s witness you met at the bus stop JW’s are monotheistic and she could no doubt have pointed you in the right direction as to the contradictions in Islam.
In Sura 2:2 we read, “There is no doubt in this book.” (Sale) But such certainly cannot be said about the Muslim commentators on the Quran. All of which is a tacit admission that the discrepancies are real and do not merely seem to be such because of lack of faith or lack of understanding by the “infidels”. In view of the foregoing we cannot escape the conclusion that neither the message of the Quran itself nor its literary merit recommends it as of divine origin, for, above all else, the Word of God must be consistent with itself, must it not?

20 06 2008

Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation 🙂 Anyway … nice blog to visit.

cheers, Convalescent!!

23 06 2008
Doubting Muslim

God’s blessings and peace be upon everyone here,

I am actually going through a similar phase that you described. With immense amounts of doubt in my heart, I have stopped praying at all and I am hunting for reasons where a legitimate doubt can be planted on Qur’an and Islam’s authenticity. The problem is, though, none of what you said makes logical sense in light of faith. It does make sense if I go with the presumption that Islam is wrong, and that the culture as we know today is ‘right’ but what if I’m looking to find proof of that presumption before I even make it.

I’ve been looking deeper and deeper into anti-muslim literature, Mr. Sina comes to mind, who is a strong proponent of anti-muslim agenda (I was forwarded to your blog from his site initially). The more I go deep, the more I realize that the arguments you have posted against Islam are based on cultural bias. Stuff like blaming Muhammed for narcasism (a word and an illness we invented) because he said ‘Allah has asked you to send peace and blessings to me’. Or calling him a peadophile for marrying a child (Her dad arranged that marriage). When a parent decides housing/clothes/school for a child, I think a parent has the ability to choose a marriage partner as well. Especially since the child is allowed to ask for Divorce later in life if it doesn’t work out. And to assume a ‘sexual’ relationship is just assumption based on what we think we would do if we married a child.

Or saying that Women aren’t equal to men in Islam. If I wanted I could make Islam or Muhammed look bad for saying that Women aren’t good at certain things and Men are better, but for that I have to assume that by some sort of scientific test you have come to a conclusion that Women are Indeed the same biologically/psychologically as men which isn’t true. Otherwise calling one sex superior to another in one thing, and inferior in another, is not sexist (another word that has only meaning in a cultural context). Women being considered 100% equal to men in all aspects is a modern cultural invention not a scientific one. The need for this invention arose as a result of the oppression women suffered in the West due to, once again, cultural norms of that time. That’s why feminist movements didn’t start in eastern societies, they weren’t needed. Evolution has us believe that religious or cultural norms that are against the needs of human society as a whole are bound to perish, and eventually be replaced.

I know you haven’t said that, but I know of people who think Muhammed was gay because he kissed Abu Bakr (his closed friend) on forehead. This is just another example of judging him based on modern culture. A guy kissing another guy on his forehead is a sign of respect. When a man choses to marry two women instead of having mistresses, that, to me is a sign of higher commitment and respect for the woman. However, like I said, I need a cultural bias to make that look bad, and I can get away with it too. When I think of Bill Clinton, had he married all those girls and given them equal status/respect/importance and love that he gives Hillary. I would respect him more than I do now. Although I should point out, Islam wouldn’t allow that. Islam only allows polygamy in the case of orphans/widows or women who can’t support themselves. In modern times, it’s possible for even an orphan to support herself, that is why majority muslims don’t practice that any more. My point for all of this is, even knowing all this, I can still use words to make this look like an evil act.

And trust me, I really badly want to abandon religion so I can live free. I just want a valid argument against faith. I don’t want to abandon faith just as an act of escaping responsibility for my actions. Sure it would be really easy to give up faith altogether, just like it would be really easy to not work all life and spend my life in a couch in my parents living room. I want to abandon it in the light of a better truth. Being a Researcher in Physics and Engineering, there is so much evidence for God in science, that being an athiest is just out of question. It would take me a giant leap of ignorance and quiet a lot of alcohol to even utter that ‘There is no God’. So in light of evidence I’ve accumulated, I know definitively that there is ‘a God’, I am just confused about which one.

To christians here, I have studied Christianity too, read several versions of the Bible. When I study another faith, I look at it with the assumption that it is True, only then can I comprehend the faith. Otherwise, just like I explained I can take a lot from the Bible and make it look like a perverted faith system filled with anger/hatred/sex etc. I can make the limit of 4 wives set in Qur’an, appear like a blessing compared to no-limit set by the Bible. I admit though, I wouldn’t be doing the Bible justice, just like authors of these anti-muslims sites don’t do justice to the Qur’an. Just like the Qur’an, to make The Bible look like a barbaric book, I would need to use cultural bias. I would need to establish in my own mind some ‘rights and wrongs’ based on my feelings and the culture I feel most attracted to (freedom culture).

When Christians talk about ‘forgiveness’, they assume that forgiveness should be a universal phenomenon for a God to be a True God. But Don’t I need that presumption first, in order to even consider this sentence? Don’t I need to first say ‘I believe Forgiveness to be a pre-requisite for Truth’. Even though there is forgiveness in Qur’an, Allah does not forgive everything just because you call yourself a Muslim. The bible, however, does promise you salvation if you accept Jesus, regardless of your sins. In that aspect, just like I made Bible look like a bad book based solely on the fact that it promises salvation regardless of actions, hence allows sins. I can make Qur’an look bad by saying, it gives you a possibility of eternal damnation even if you have accepted Allah. I hope you see my point here, in both arguments I need presumptions that have no strong base in logic. Why should everyone who believes something be forgiven because someone else gave a sacrifice? Shouldn’t everyone by judged individually. On the same note, why should I believe that fear punishment is the only way for justice to prevail?

My bottom line is, there can never a logical argument against or for any faith system, unless you look at it from scientific point of view because with science, when you use a presumption, even that presumption would have to be proved by science itself. A bias in science is easily refutable without using philosophy or psychology (both fuzzy subjects that can be manipulated to obtain any conclusion). The problem then becomes, when I look at Qur’an from science’s point of view, I don’t see any problem with it, so far at least. My problem with Islam comes from feelings of escapism.

Marrying more than 1 woman for example, Population Stats show there are always more women than men around the world because men are more likely to die at child birth than women (which is a presumption that can be backed by another research paper). So it bares logical conclusion that either those extra women share a husband, or become public property, or gay. So over all if I put a limit of one woman per man, I’d be doing humanity injustice, especially women.

Another example would be use of punishment and fear in Islamic literature. There was not much use of Fear in biblical literature, the result was, a seperation of church and state and an expanse of athiesm. People turning against organised religion because of the acts of the Church. Jesus is quiet literally, (although it pains me seeing it) a joke, in popular media and culture. It’s easy to create rebellion. That’s why people who try to teach biblical version of evolution in schools usually fail in their attempts to legalize it. Islamic nations still stand because fear has worked create stable societies. In contrast, The Soviet Union and Hitler (not that I’m suggesting a relation) also used fear, but they didn’t have an outlet with a wide enough expansion as the Qur’an for it work. Not only that, Hitler’s fall was because his policies, although using fear, were against the basic survival of human species. Hence by law of natural selection, was eradicated. Let’s see Another successful society based on fear tactic, that actually has ability to reach masses better than Soviet union or Hitler did, and unlike them is based on what’s best for humanity at this time, is United States of America. It’s another scientifically provable presumption that Fear is what has held Americans together for so long against so much differences between people. Bush administration is an example of fear working successfully. Americans are more united than ever (most in the hatred of Bush), but fear is what got them there. Saudi Arabia for example, very few wars, not much civil unrest, never civil wars, no major illnesses, no population problems, no crime problems, low divorce rates, low suicide rates, low rate of depression. Over all a healthy society breeding healthy humans. Though there is quiet a lot of fear being used. Fear of consequence, fear of abandonment, fear of escapism, fear of propagation of evil, fear of a bad afterlife. So if I think ‘fear is bad’, I’m just basing that on feelings, not on evidence that this apparently ‘bad’ thing, is creating a great society while sacrificing a few individuals. (Great Society: US inclusive)

I can go on and on explaining every little thing from the Qur’an that has been pointed as a menace to society or an evil thing, and use similar methods to show how humanity as a whole benefits from those laws, even if a few individuals get hurt in the process. Darwin’s theory of evolution also comes to mind where the law of natural selection, forces the establishment of self-preservation rules. I think Islam has a lot of these self-preservation rules that ensure the success of it’s faith system and it’s societies in the long run. You won’t see many muslims who want religion and politics to be separate like you do Christians, because initially Christianity lacked the political quality required for self-preservation.

Once again, using an open mind, I can accept both Christianity and Islam. Whenever Islam is being torched, Christians come and point out ‘Our Bible doesn’t propagate that nonsense’. Similarly, when the debate of Evolution vs. Biblical Creationism was going on, I found myself saying to my christian friends who were trying to answer why Bible is going against established science, ‘Qur’an agrees with Evolution’, there by using a ‘kick ’em when their down’ tactic. It’s a bad tactic, regardless of which direction it’s used in. For a simple reason that if you don’t have an argument strong enough to stand in the face of another argument, you’d try to use it in the absence of any other argument there by making it appear as the only other option. I request to Christians that if they do feel ‘Oh my God, Qur’an says all this BS, wait a minute Bible doesn’t, so Bible can be spread this way’, try to remind yourself that the same method athiest use against Qur’an can be used against the Bible. Unlike Qur’an, Bible has been around for a lot longer for arguments like these to have developed by cultures that it affected throughout it’s lineage. Not only that, the anti-religious sentiment developed during the Medieval Times also adds to criticism that Bible is prone to recieve. Just like 9/11 acts as a booster for Anti-Qur’an sentiments.

I know that I didn’t make a single argument to either side in this post, and that in it’s essence, is the point I’m trying to make. It’s impossible. I have made some people hate Islam a lot, and another group of people love it a lot (both started out opposites). Just as an experiment to see if language and culture had the power to make two sane individuals believe and support two strongly opposing ideas just based on the way I choose to present facts and the presumptions I make along the way. I’ve written a book detailing the experiment for the world to judge and criticize (it would be published world wide by the end of this year, search for ‘An Impossible Conclusion’ on bookstores) I, however, still am a Muslim who doesn’t pray any more. I do feel guilt, and at the same time I feel God will forgive me as long as I don’t deny what’s clearly true whether from the Bible or the Qur’an. I shall continue to hunt for reasons to abandon faith and hopefully in the process either abandon it completely or learn what makes people do that.


27 05 2011

to (doubting muslim), your explanation is very shallow & cheap. you have to read more, you need more knowledge before writing a book.

14 04 2014

Hi Doubting Muslim: “or saying that Women aren’t equal to men in Islam. If I wanted I could make Islam or Muhammed look bad for saying that Women aren’t good at certain things and Men are better, but for that I have to assume that by some sort of scientific test you have come to a conclusion that Women are Indeed the same biologically/psychologically as men which isn’t true.”
I don’t know if you’re a woman or not, but if you are the surah about testimony in court should have irked you enough to find a reason! Two male witnesses or one male and two female (so the one can remind the other in case she forgets). I am surprised that you think some universal text proving that all men have superior memories or mental faculties is required to show how idiotic this is. This was given as a sweeping rule – the all wise and know Allah (what a joke) didn’t seem to realize that there were and always will be millions/billions of female individuals who comparatively have better memories or higher IQs than any random male – but this forever makes their testimony less valuable in court compared to that of someone with a penis. It could be a half wit with a penis, or someone with an IQ on the low side of normal, but his testimony is more trustworthy because he has a penis – nothing to do with brains (because it is his penis and male hormones that make him male – otherwise he is just human).

6 01 2015
Muhammad T H Munim

To ‘doubting muslim’. Salamun alaikum dear brother. I searched for your book ‘An impossible conclusion’ in the Internet but did not find it. How to get it? Still an excellent reply, AlhamduLILLAH. Learned a lot of relevant things. Thank you.

1 07 2008

Shame that your account, although eloquently written, does not hint at why you left the religion. The experiences you went through (contact with extremists/ doubting whether your practices are in keeping with Islam) are ones that every Muslim goes through, it is a measure of your strength and stamina in accepting the message of Islam initially and your perseverance (one of the biggest lessons Islam teaches) that decides how true you are to your faith.

I find it alarming and painful that you derived so much satisfaction and peace through the process of prayer to the extent that it touched your soul – when prayer is something many Muslims don’t practice fully – yet you gave that up, apparently because you felt you couldn’t keep up with your belief in the religion/ your prayers were unanswered.

Finally ‘I’d estimate that 99.99% of believers adhere to a particular religion, not by choice, but because their parents indoctrinated them’ is a complete fallacy. In fact, having been through all the learning you did in order to find the right religion, it is arrogant to assume Muslims, or those born into other religions do not study, accept, acknowledge the truth of the beliefs they are born into themselves – this is not something you have a monopoly on. I’ve accepted Islam because I see and know it to be true from experiences in my own life – something that has come about through hours/ years of patience.. not an automatic right to be shown the facts and that they adhere to everything I feel is correct….. vegetarianism and pacifism are not valid reasons for feeling Islam is not right. You can actually shun extremists, be a vegetarian and a pacifist and be 110% Muslim – I’m amazed you didn’t realise something this basic given the amount of knowledge you claim to have picked up.. these are flimsy excuses for discarding Islam and make me doubt the validity of your claims.

13 07 2008

now u feel happy ,,, yep
life will show u how to be away from ur god
and guess what ,,,,,,,, ,,,,,, ,,,,,, its dead end my X friend

28 07 2008

To Doubting Muslim: You said the following
“Islam only allows polygamy in the case of orphans/widows or women who can’t support themselves”, Did Mohammed Married 9yr old because she is Orphan/Windows or can not support Herself. Remember her father is still alive. And you might say that he only gave her to Mohammed, i’m not questioning the girls father or the girl but Mohammed. Don’t he know what he is doing wrong ATLEAST against what Allah revealed to him?

By saying that I accepted Christ as my personal saviour after lot of questioning but I ONLY KNOW CHRIST WHEN I REALLY ACCPETED HIM INTO MY HEART. That is entirely a different experiance and LIFE changing decision, By saying that I’m not saying all life changing means accepting Christ but otherway round. Basically what I see Spirituality is something one has to experiance PERSONALLY till that time WE as HUMAN BEINGS will ask questions but if we ask those questions honestly and then ACCEPT CHRIST PERSONALLY then we know if this is what really a HUMAN BEING NEED TO live. I said this prayer HONESTLY and INNOCENTLY and that changed my life.

Lord Jesus Christ forgive my sins and come into my life and live. And I accept you as my Lord and Saviour.

Very Simple but tell that prayer honestly and see if this is real.
Now you may say that aha………………. you are trying to convert me so easily to Christianity. But if you feel that you are a Muslim and can not say that prayer and Ask God to come into your life. Change it followingly.

Lord Jesus Christ , IF you are GOD

Lord Jesus Christ forgive my sins and come into my life and live. And I accept you as my Lord and Saviour.

Hope this will help you. I’m just sharing out of my own life and that is the simple prayer Changed my LIFE COMPLETELY.


3 08 2008

Dear brother,

What happened in the end of your story? You rejected the existence of God. Yes, why not… nobody, as far as I know, has proved scientifically or theoretically the existence of God. But what do you gain in your life by rejecting the existence of God? What did you gain when you were muslim and a believer in God?
Sometimes when you can’t explain to yourself some particular things in the religion this doesn’t mean that they are wrong or pointless. If you follow and do the things that don’t make sense to you it will come a moment when you will understand what are these things about and your blind belief will turn into understanding the purpose of what you are doing. Of course you can’t do things that you don’t understand if you don’t believe with your heart that they are for good and not for bad.
Islam is a very wise religion. Simply just in a hadeeth or in a single aya it is concentrated so much wisdom. I don’t think that any human can create such wisdom especially not in a life time. Then if we assume that a human can acquaint and create all that wisdom for such a short time then he must be a genius. He must be even more than a genius. Let’s assume that he wasn’t genius. He was a plagiarist and the Holly Quran was collected from Judaism and Christianity and some old myths… How an illiterate man can read all these books and sources that he would probably need if he wants to write the Quran? But this also is not enough- he must be very talented writer…poet…yet, when I read the Holly Quran it doesn’t sound like a poem or like a novel…prophet Mohammed must have also been well educated in the matters of science because many scientifical facts are mentioned in the Quran that are proven now by the modern science. Then may be the option that he was solely plagiarist is not correct. Then maybe he had companions who helped him collect all that information… etc. But still there is the Holly Quran. It is present and whoever reads it feels the power and the wisdom of it. In the end the judgment if it is sent to the people by God or it is written by a man is only yours- if you want to believe in God and his book you will find many reasons for and if you don’t want to believe you will find many reasons against. If God wanted us to know that he exists he would give us clear unmistakable sign or proof that he exists such that we can’t deny it (maybe he should show himself to all the people so that they can see him with their eyes) even if we want but his will is to test us what our behavior will be if we will have the right to chose to be good or bad, to do good things or to do bad things, to prefer the enjoyments and self-satisfaction instead to help each other and sacrifice from your food, money, time and life to help the other people who are in need . Because would you do all of that good things and prevents yourself from the bad- like not drinking alcohol, not committing adultery, not having numerous girl/boy- friends, never stealing even if it is something small like a chewing gum, not speaking bad words, respecting your friends, giving charity, stop backbiting the people, not leaving or disconnecting from your family, keep your responsibilities to your parents?
Why God exists, what is his purpose for, what is his origin… who can give us such answer? May be no scientist or religious leader or the prophets can’t answer that question. But is this mean that God is meaningless because we don’t have the answer what is God, how he appeared, what is his purpose… it is illogical to conclude that he is with no purpose or no meaning. What do you mean by that?…. Because you don’t know the purpose and the meaning of the existence of God it doesn’t mean that there are no. A believer knows that God has purpose and meaning in his existence even if he doesn’t know what they are. Why do you think you are so important that you would be informed for such a huge knowledge? Then why not God tell us all the secrets of the universe , science, matter.. there are many people who want to know the answer of these questions too.. and by not knowing these answers it doesn’t mean that they are purposeless or meaningless. This is one of the points to believe- you don’t have all the answers but you have these of them which are necessary to make you enter in Heaven if you keep your obligations. This is the most important thing for you in this life and to the believers is revealed only a small part of the knowledge. Allah means God. Look around yourself and tell me what you see… all the world is like a very precisely working machine, every tool in this machine has its meaning and it is important so that all of the machine will work properly.
Allah is not without a cause. According to what information you come up with that conclusion? Logic explanations should be required for the world around us and the things that it is consisted of. In Islam seeking knowledge is obligatory upon every Muslim. This includes scientific researches and searching for logical explanation of all the world around us such as bacteria, planets, cells DNA… then how did you come up with the idea that Islam or muslims’ logic is that there should be required no logical explanation for these things? On the contrary I think.

If you want to believe in God you will believe. If you want to find proves you will, if you want to find reasons to doubt it you will find because after all you can’t see God by your eyes personally. This is the meaning to be believer- to believe, obey and fear Allah even though you never saw him. After all what did Islam learn you? If it is how to be good, honest and moral person tell me who else can learn you better? And if the answer is nobody else can learn you to these things in the way Islam did then maybe you should think that Islam, the Quran and its teachings are not ordinary but beyond the wisdom of this world … and why not sent to us by somebody who loves us and cares about us and wants to learn us to be good and to live in peace. And why not that is God?
Miracles happen every day. Allah gives us proves for his existence all the time but you must open your mind and heart to see them.

27 05 2011

there is on science in Quran, some people like you, tried to show science in it. there is some stories only, which is attached in arab land, not other parts of the world.

8 09 2008

I like the title of this post. At the moment I’m trying to write about my personal experience of Islam. I’ve been an atheist since the age of about 17, but my doubting of the almighty goes as far back as a disastrous visit to Saudi Arabia with my parents, when I was about 4.

17 09 2008

This was the longest, and most uninteresting post I’ve read in a long time. I wanted to skip through a lot of it but I figured I would read the whole thing and be fair when reaching an opinion about it….come to think of it…maybe that’s what you should have done with you decided to plunge into an entire religion, like Islam, before you read the entirety of its main source. This post left me with no hard feelings towards Islam (which is what this seemed like and which is what ur whole website seems to be resonating) but rather really strong feelings on how dumb people can be about their lives and then save face by saying “oh I was brainwashed.” You must one dumb guy.

20 09 2008
Suleiman al-Wahid

Mashallah! May Allah reward you, Khalas for being courageous and speaking up for what you believe in, you are a true seeker of truth.

Inshallah, you will continue to be a wonderful atheist and freethinker.

Jazak Allah Khair for being smart enough to leave the silly desert religion of Islaam.

7 10 2008
a neutral view

That is a very interesting and nicely written “thesis”.
This appears to be a Islam vs Christianity blog. Being neither I view this from a different angle.

Why does it have to be one vs another. Why cannot the world be more accommodating.

I have a simple question. If god is one then how can there be Christian God, Muslim Allah ( Why cannot Allah be called God or equivalent in another language?? will that that make him less godly??), Jew God, Hindu Gods/ Gods etc etc??

So if we change gods/ religion we become entitled to goodies ( Heaven with all appertunent luxuries). Right?. So if we trade one god for another we are entitled to better rewards. putting it very simply changing one boss for another? I am sure if there is indeed a God there cannot be but one other wise there would not be one human race but many races biologically different.

If not then there is one god, referred to by different names. The fundamental problem is that people have deserted the spirit of the religion and become fundamentalist. As the society expands we are becoming more introverts and hence seeking similar people and fearing “others”. So the solution we find to either to assimilate or annihilate.

Unless we learn to tolerate and stop this “largest Religion” business we cannot have peace. This is not a cricket match that one needs to score more runs to win a match.

These are just some random thoughts I felt should get some attention.

21 02 2011

Allah says to kill, rape, and maim. Jesus said to love. When Jesus came, the Old Testament became a history of sorts. The New Testament has no violence or hate.

They are not the same God just by different names. One causes strict adherence and evil. The other encourages you not to submit to God, but to talk to God, question God, and ask God.

You can tell the difference in the comments. The muslims are very literal, submissive, but arrogant to those who do not believe. They do not research and pray for answers; they just believe what the local mosque tells them.

The Aethists are a little sharp-toned, but mostly reasonable and not hateful.

The Christians keep repeating (paraphrase) “I hope that you will one day find the happiness I have found.”:

‘For the girl above who said polygamy was no problem? When you marry a man with 3 other wives, we’ll believe you.

7 10 2008

I found this post breath-taking because I am in the process of questioning islam. I used to be a muslim just like you, very devout and pious. But the last months I have come into this state of numbness. I have done anything to convince myself islam is the truth, but now I feel free and happy for the first time in my life. Actually, for the first time in my life I have started thinking for myself! I read your lengthy post and I found it so logical and I even sat with my quran while reading it, to assure that all quotations are correct and unbiased.

Thank you, once again! I would really love to stay in touch with you, if you have some sort of email box?

10 10 2008

mr atheist or whatever you call yourself
If you were on a sinking ship for example the TITANIC, no one would tell you to call God before you scream His name loud enough for yourself to hear…….
This is because of your aura, You were created in His image and breathed into….
Simply put, when you find yourself in a plane about to crash, I pray you survive then we can talk…..

21 10 2008

you know what? you should have looked up shia islam. it doesnt have any of that god in the sky business.

this is a famous shia hadith:

Praise is due to Allah whose worth cannot be described by speakers, whose bounties cannot be counted by calculators and whose claim (to obedience) cannot be satisfied by those who attempt to do so, whom the height of intellectual courage cannot appreciate, and the divings of understanding cannot reach; He for whose description no limit has been laid down, no eulogy exists, no time is ordained and no duration is fixed. He brought forth creation through His Omnipotence, dispersed winds through His Compassion, and made firm the shaking earth with rocks.

The foremost in religion is the acknowledgement of Him, the perfection of acknowledging Him is to testify Him, the perfection of testifying Him is to believe in His Oneness, the perfection of believing in His Oneness is to regard Him Pure, and the perfection of His purity is to deny Him attributes, because every attribute is a proof that it is different from that to which it is attributed and everything to which something is attributed is different from the attribute. Thus whoever attaches attributes to Allah recognises His like, and who recognises His like regards Him two; and who regards Him two recognises parts for Him; and who recognises parts for Him mistook Him; and who mistook Him pointed at Him; and who pointed at Him admitted limitations for Him; and who admitted limitations for Him numbered Him.

Whoever said in what is He, held that He is contained; and whoever said on what is He held He is not on something else. He is a Being but not through phenomenon of coming into being. He exists but not from non-existence. He is with everything but not in physical nearness. He is different from everything but not in physical separation. He acts but without connotation of movements and instruments. He sees even when there is none to be looked at from among His creation. He is only One, such that there is none with whom He may keep company or whom He may miss in his absence.

21 10 2008
4 11 2008

what a journey. May Allah save us.

from worshipping Allah, to worship nothing worship but your own desires.

Na’udzu billah.

19 11 2008

Well, one think that i must say: allah is not the GOD! it’s just the same like other idols like budha, amaterasu okami, brahmana, shiwa, wishnu, and any other gods. No wonder that you feel deceit by islam. Well, just study further about Quraish tribe or Muhammad deity whose name is allah. GOD bless

21 02 2011

Buddha wasn’t a God and never claimed to be. People don’t worship Buddha; it’s more a psychological system of making sense of the world. You can be Buddhist and another religion or atheist. I am Buddhist and Christian.

For those of you out there who think islam is just another “cool,” Third World religion, kind of like Rasta or something…..READ. The info is out there. And most importantly, look up the meaning of their words “taqiyya,” “dhimmi” and “sharia.” And one more — read the biography of mohammed. Decide if he was the “perfect man” that everyone should emulate in every way.

It’s too important these days to not be informed about these things. Do not just talk to a muslim. RESEARCH. And if you haven’t yet, do yourself and all of us a favor and don’t write to sites saying islam’s peace and Christianity is just as bad. Find out for yourself first.

For the author of the piece, think about what you are still respecting and ask yourself why.

29 11 2008

Well-written and thoughtful. I am praying and considering a longer response of my own as a defense of Christianity. In determining how to address this to you, I would like to know (and I apologize if I missed it while reading your testimony) if you have read the entire Bible, both Old and New Testaments. Please e-mail me at the address provided with this post and I will work on a response to you.

For those who are contemplating what faith they should follow, two
powerful verses are:

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. — John 3:16 (NKJV)

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” — John 14:6 (NKJV)

I know that all religions promote their “god” as the best and only one, but the Bible can PROVE its truth.

The Bible also does not need a teacher to translate it, nor does it require any additional texts to interpret it. You need not follow a religion, perform rituals, or do anything extraordinary to receive God’s grace. All that must be done is to accept His Son as Lord of your life. The Bible explains this and gives proof of its accuracy.

What other faith can PROVE that their god exists?

The Bible proves itself because it has predicted prophecies that have come true. Here is where God explains the test of prophecy:

“But a prophet who presumes to speak in my name anything I have not commanded him to say, or a prophet who speaks in the name of other gods, must be put to death. You may say to yourselves, ‘How can we know when a message has not been spoken by the LORD ?’ If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the LORD does not take place or come true, that is a message the LORD has not spoken. That prophet has spoken presumptuously. Do not be afraid of him” (Deuteronomy 18:20-22).

God is telling people that His prophets will be one hundred percent accurate. Compare Biblical prophecy with secular history and you will see the fulfillment of over 600 specific prophecies in historical events. Many more are will be fulfilled in the near future and will involve Russia and Israel. Watch the news and you will see the stage is being set.

Christians already know how the story ends and we are secure in our faith. Read the Bible and find out for yourself!

9 Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, 11 and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. –Phillippians 2:9-11

May Jesus Christ bless you abundantly and send the Holy Spirit to work in your life and the life of readers of your site.

3 12 2008

Your name is Abdul Quddus,
but Abdul Hawa fits you better, don’t you think so o worshipper of desire?

8 12 2008

i left buddhism and studied christianity. In my enthusiasm to search God, I studied hard about Buddhism and find out that Siddhartha Gautama Buddha is not God. He was born as a human, a prince, and did not claim that he was God. Some Buddhist know this but most have the misconception that he is God. He is like Confucius. Most of his teachings are good, but not all. i believed that Jesus is the Son of God.

I joined the Pentecostal church and was tricked. Tricked because what they are doing do not go along with the bible. There is no such thing as speaking in weird tongues which nobody could understand except God when you receive the Holy spirit. in the bible, people speak tongues, that are other HUMAN languages to spread the gospel. Pentecostals claimed that when everyone who receive the Holy Spirit will speak in tongues, which is totally untrue. The bible says people will receive different gifts. Also, JESUS DID NOT SPEAK IN TONGUES.

Another thing is the slain of the spirit by Pentecostals. The pastor would place his or her hands or your head and you will fall down. Some will even sing, cry, dance or make weird noises. No such events occur in the bible. Pentecostals show many miracles, but those miracles they show clearly do not come from God.

one of the greatest deception is that most Christians believe in the Trinity, that is the belief that The Father, Son and Holy Spirit are God. there is no such thing. Jesus claimed to be the Son of God, the Messiah, The Savior,but HE NEVER CLAIMED TO BE GOD. the trinity concept is influenced by pagan belief, such as Hinduism, where there are 3 gods, brahma, vishnu, siva. There is one scripture that states the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are one. people cant just assume that all of them are God through that scripture. It can mean that they are on the same path.

Good luck in finding God. However, you have to be very careful and open minded in studying about God because there are many deceivers.

12 12 2008

I still don’t understand why this guy still calls himself ‘Abdul Quddus’ when he is an athiest and does not believe in his Maker anymore! Kind of ironic.
Still, towards the end all i can say is he took his ’emotions’ as his God! Now he is an apostate, you would expect him to convert to a new monotheistic religion. Which are they: Judaism, Sikhism etc. The rest are not worth mentioning as they either have polytheism in it (christianity) or no mention of God at all.

So why hasn’t he converted to Judaism or Sikhism. He knows there are flaws in these religions. Also, why hasn’t he written about these other religions and only Islam. The reason is from the beginning Islam appealed to him and made sense. The rest of the other so-called religions did not concern him as you know from the outset it is wrong. Only Islam appealed to him.
Now he has left Islam, he is left in a state of ‘limbo’ not knowing which way to go. Not knowing what His Creator’s Commands are? If you say he does by being a good human being on earth, you really think that is enough to be saved from the Hellfire?

He just lives day by day hoping for a miracle. If not, he will probably spend the rest of his days deceiving muslims straight into the hellfire. How do you guys know whether the writer and the apostates are not ‘Satan’ themselves in human form. I’m sure muslims agree that shaitaan is amongst the jinns and mankind. We have to understand that shaitaan has spoken to God directly (when he first disobeyed God’s Command to bow down to Adam as a test). Ali Sinna and his crew may be from the ‘armies of Shaitaan’. They are cunning and will deceive many who are vulnerable. Many humans are deceived by following their emotions!

Tell me a religion other than Islam today that is the correct one. None of them. Otherwise, the so called guy who calls himself Abdul Quddus would have converted to one of those religions. Judaism, Sikhism and what not have all flaws in them.

Finally, as Ali Sinna quoted:

“O ye who believe! Ask not questions about things which if made plain to you, may cause you trouble… Some people before you did ask such questions, and on that account lost their faith.” (Quran. 5:101-102)

There were people in the past who were living amongst the Prophets who kept questioning..and.. questioning, until eventually they lost their faith, just like many so called ‘ex-muslims’ on this filthy website. Nothing on this website diminishes my faith because it all comes down to one thing: Tawheed (monotheism) and not to associate partners with Allah. The rest of the material on here are mostly trivial matters.

14 04 2014

Atuallah Muslims like you never cease to amaze me with your block-headedness and ignorant approach and arrogant attitude towards all other belief systems – from other religions to atheism. “The rest aren’t worth mentioning” as if your definition of what is worth mentioning is all there is, as if everyone universally agrees that monotheism is the best or most superior (tell that to millions of Hindus) – or as if you know jack about Christianity calling it Polytheism simply because your brain is in a little iron box called Islam, where God/Allah has all sorts of limitations placed on him by people who think they must understand his nature perfectly for him to exist at all – which makes no sense. If there is an almighty creator, what good does he do us if he is only what we know and understand?

22 12 2008


26 12 2008

All of you in this blog that don’t believe in God, prove to us that u have a mind as in physicaly show us your mind and sense, until then we shall believe you have no mind and no sense. which make,s you people Man men and Women, people without sense.

30 12 2008

Wow! I am only half way through so far, but am finding your story fascinating and it rings many bells with me also. Thank you so much for sharing! I hope you don’t mind if I link my blog to yours. Best wishes, Hassan.

30 12 2008

I have added this blog to mt blog roll – if you want me to remove it, please let me know. My blog is here:


Best wishes,


12 03 2009


I think, therefor I am…
that was easy.

2 04 2009

The extremist of many Muslims today, especially Salafis, paint Islam in a rather unattaractive manner, thus forcing people like Abdul Quddus to doubt the religion itself.

Mr. Abdul Quddus, there is indeed NO DOUBT about the grave misunderstanding of certain basic values of Islam. For instance, Salafism believes that the world MUST be FORCED into Islam. Some of their scholars, like Ibn Baz, believed in a flat earth, etc. THESE ARE NOT PART OF ISLAM. I guess you need to study Islam on a more rational basis, examining the teachings of the religion from the Ahl al-Bayt (as). I am sure you will feel the Light of Allah (swt) in your heart. You will return to the root and nature of creation.

Wa Salam.

NB: Don’t judge Islam on the actions of some Muslims.

21 02 2011

Isn’t it odd that the world is full of millions of people who “misunderstand” their own religion?

Also look up meanings of “abbrogation” and watch out for people who say that others who don’t believe as they do are satan.

Read the history of the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem and Adolph Hitler. Don’t believe anyone. READ and find out for yourself.

22 05 2009


9 02 2013
Umar Saabiquun

I’m having hardship right now.I’m new in my deen and striving with all faith in Allah(swt). I need help in getting a prayer rug and a kufi for free.As-salamu-Alaikum.

22 05 2009


21 02 2011

This is an example of spouting off without knowing the details. How can you advise someone on their life’s path when you didn’t bother to read their story because it was “2 (sic) much”?

Don’t believe islam until you spend time on the net finding out for yourself. Look up “infidels” and read what the koran says to do to them. Research.

22 05 2009


24 05 2009
Desert Gangsta

In the above comments, a Muslim has said: “did you come out of nothing? if so then produce me something out of nothing?”. According to the Quran, yes:

“But does not man call to mind that We created him before out of nothing?” (You may read it at Surah 19:67)


11 06 2009

You have claimed that you converted to Islam after realizing that it’s the True religion. Then you somehow realized that it’s a false religion and left Islam. That’s fair enough. No one is forcing you to stay in Islam (2:256).

However, it seems like you have waged crusade against Islam. Not only that, the right-hand column of your site is full of Christian Missionaries lies, hatred, propaganda against Islam and Muslims. So, I doubt you ever converted to Islam in the first place.

17 12 2010

these people may tried their best to be Muslims but this will not happen unless Allah’s agree ,,, depending on the person’s heart ,,this guy is not good enough that’s why he left ,,,this happened when the Prophet Muhammad was alive,,some people are not good enough for Islam and thus Allah will not accept them !

Islam is not bad , it is their hearts not clean enough to indulge Islam !

5 07 2009

so Khalas! done !
that makes it clear, you made your mind up, and I have no problem with that.
I’m not the type of person who leaves comments. but your post got me, something is dancing in my brain and I have to let it out :
WHAT MATTERS, WHAT REALLY DOES, is understanding Arabic. better,,, understanding the Quraan in Arabic. using translated texts to understand Quraan or Al sunnah is not even close to sufficient. Arabic is a complicated language for a non speaker. many words stand for different meanings, cultural connotation, etc. from my experience in translation we always use Umberto eco’s words :” quasi dire le stese cose” it almost says everything in a different language but not completely! I see your confusion about Islam through the points you underlined here and I find it strange for someone who tried so hard to find the truth. its simply misunderstanding and on language level!!! I wish you spent more time learning arabic or even came to the point of understanding Quraan in arabic before you took the step & converted to Islam. its not that I have a problem with you as an atheist, its just that It seems to me that you took the decision ( embracing Islam)out of fear, when you were lost and so uncertain and its just so impossible to think in a clear way in that condition. you came across bad muslims and those are every where , people always try to convey others that THEIR ideology is the only way, they try their best to cover your eyes and get you so involved that you will not be able to think. I think taking such a decision ( to embrace a religion) shall be taken after a real long thinking and studying period. and its a stupid thing to run into the person who shows interest in a religion and just try to make him/her convert immediately. what can I say! I’m sorry you became a Muslim in such a way, its your right to step back as it was your right to step in but I feel sorry that after such a long journey you came so close and gave up for all the wrong reasons.
In peace and love
and excuse my poor English

12 08 2009

I did not convert to Islam, I was raised in an Islamic family within an Islamic nation. I left Islam and I think, without a doubt, it is by far the best thing to have happened to me.

Like many ex-Muslims, I remain hidden and give lipservice to Muslims because I don’t want to be killed. Islam is an Arab cult that oppresses the human soul. I threw away the Qur’aan and never looked back. I now nearly weep when I see my fellow countrymen under such an evil cult of the seventh-century Arabia. Muslims cannot be reformed. I tend to this that Islam is a mental disease unlike any other, I fear that there is no hope for non Arab Muslims but we can only hope for the best for them.

Your writing is inspirational and makese more sense than the Qur’aan ever did, at least for me. And I love this site and will visit from now on. Faith Freedom.org is another. All the best!


21 02 2011

Thank you so much. Many of us are very concerned about world events lately, (I’m sure you know what I mean) and a post like yours makes us feel much better.

20 09 2009

I praise God that you left islam….everything is wrong about that system, and I pray for those lost in it.

However, if we all understood that you can’t find God through “Religion” the better off we’ll be. Like you said, religion is man-made….and I would categorize myself as “Christian” for lack of a better word. But I don’t call myself christian because I go through some ritual type behaviors, or go to a “church” on sunday, or even because I thumb my nose at so-called sinners. I’m christian because I follow Christ. That’s it!! Unfortunately, a lot of christians has done the whole movement a disservice, from day one.

I realized that I can love God, worship God, and His Son, without “religion”. At least without organized religion.

God is still there, Yaweh is still there, you just have to remove the man-made, religious blinders to find Him.

5 04 2011

Well said Ma’am!

7 10 2009
NSC London

Very interesting article indeed… thanks for posting.

To the various religious people in the comments section arguing about which theological fairy tale is “the Truth,” would you people listen to yourselves? It’s like a contest to prove who is the most primitive, devolved idiot in the bunch. The desire to subscribe to some sort of prescribed god fantasy makes it hard to take you people seriously at all.

7 10 2009

I don’t see why we would seem more idiotic than yourself…..you who argues (and angirily call names) with someone for their beliefs. That makes you schizophrenic at best. Go argue with the imanginery person in your closet, you’ll have better luck. No one cares what you think…you’re a speck of sand in the grand scheme of things!!! Only your mom and dad SOMEWHAT care about your opinion…however you do have the right to one. But don’t be surprised when no one outside of your family cares!!

If you don’t believe MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE! So Simple!

21 02 2011

Why do you feel the need to insult? Usually people do this when they are afraid of the power of something/someone. Are you afraid of the power of God? Why? And if not, why do you bother reading sites like this and even answering posts? Why are you so hateful about personal faith? (And I know which one you hate most; the New Atheist movement is working hard to delegitimize Christianity.)

Peace It’s up to everyone what he/she believes, but you do not have the right to belittle others as if you are on a platform high above us humans.

15 10 2009

i apprciate you abdul ( when are you going to leave this scarry name) for leaving Islam and rverting back to humanity. it is too comforting to know that people are actually rejecting the philosophy of the world’s ‘fastest growing religion’. Islam has always thrived on false propaganda and we need (the honest) efforts from apostates like yours to bring an end to this gory tale of Quran and islam. i hope the word’s spreading thick and fast and i hope the army of apostates grow bigger than that of the Prophet (my foot) muhammad.

all the best brother

21 02 2011

Way. to. go. I hope the word is spreading, too. Great post.

31 10 2009

Well written testimonial.Very revealing. Being an ex-Muslim gives more
credence to your article than if you had never been a Muslim. I was so impressd
that I emailed it to a few friends.All the best brother.

3 11 2009
Yaqub (James)

Hey all.

It appears that the comments are disabled on the “Allah: Evidence Of An Anthropomorphic Deity” post, so I am going to post my comment here instead.

I’ve written a response to this article, which I already emailed to “Abdul-Quddus” about a month ago, but I guess that he has been busy and has not had time to read it yet.

I have posted the response on my blog:


11 11 2009

have you ever get professional help for your depression? maybe the sense of loss and disorientation is a sign of a serious mental illness instead of your disillusionment with Islam or any other religion you have ‘journeyed through”.

24 11 2009

Good writing skills for a high school dropout. I noticed on this site and others that the backsliders are very good writers. So much that I’m afraid to write my story on this site because I’m not a skilled writer like most on this website. Or is someone editing these stories? That would explain it.

17 12 2009

you wrote so small that I give up even to start reading!

17 01 2010

you are speeking out of my soul! I left islam myself in a similar fashion and I just wanted to say that you are definetly not alone with your views.
Although I am born in an muslim comunity in Bosnia and Herzegowinia, and my path was not as dramatic as yours, we do have things in common.
I wish you all the best and thanks for sharing you views with the comunity.

21 02 2011

Bless you. People in Western countries are very worried about the situation right now, and it’s great to read posts from you, the writer of this essay and everyone else who has responded.

We live in extremely serious times. I’m heartened to know there’s an army of people fighting this.

23 06 2010

Be kind and compassionate and the Kingdom is yours…Don’t be afraid and be strong in your faith…whatever that is… Accept diversity in thought and beliefs and liberate yourself from the shackles of ignorance…Have a great day!

12 07 2010

I was a revert, a Salafi, but stopped practicing Islam after a few years for reasons that are similar to those you have described. I too miss Islam a lot, my prayers, my sisters in Islam, the Islamic way of life but I can’t go back. Only forward. Thank you for sharing your experience. I don’t feel so crazy for still being a little in love with Islam more than ten years later.

17 07 2010

I think what you rebelled against wasn’t islam: you rebelled against salafism (or the salafiyoon, as you put it). The rest of your criticism points are probably just magnified non-comfort points you had before (and they were probably a non-issue before).

you can rest assured that many, many muslim people are against the salafism school of thought, (including me, of course).

the next time you re-consider islam (if it ever happens), maybe consider that salafism is not the one and only interpretation of islam.

you’re right in saying that no one can claim to possess the one and only truth; educated muslims don’t usually follow a certain “imam/scholar” or a certain “math-hab/school”, you find something you agree/disagree with in each scholar and each school, just like you do with all other aspects of life. I generally try to read as many opinions on the subject matter as possible, and see which one is the most plausible (makes the most sense) and take it.

For instance, many, specially among salafis, say that music is haram. I personally don’t find any evidence from the quran or the sunna that suggests islam forbids music; it’s just the opinion of some scholars, influenced by their culture — nothing more, and there are many others with the opinion that it’s not haram at all.

I bet that when you were a muslim, if someone told you music is haram, you had no way to object or disagree, and some how because you became close with the salafiyoon, their opinions became “the authentic islam” as far as you’re concerned.

You may say, well what the hell, there are so many schools of thought it’s so confusing!! but you see, that’s why you have a brain ..

When you’re a new muslim, you’re not supposed to fuss on the details: for the most part you should continue living like you used to before, and start implementing islam into your life slowly and gradually.
And, the details are for later, at first your only concern is to build faith in your heart (and by faith, I don’t mean ‘a blind belief’, but I mean building the spirituality thing .. piety, feeling connection with God, etc).

in my opinion, part of the beauty of islam is that the details are left out and not mentioned in the quran: it’s too unrealistic (and even impossible) to force people to behave in a certain way down to the details.

Salafism is a horrible school exactly because they don’t get that: they fuss over the details and they make every little thing to be a part of the One and Only Truth, for instance, they insist that you must have a beard!! as if it’s a pillar of islam just like prayers.

If in your heart, you still feel God sometimes, try to ask him to guide you .. even if you only feel it for a few seconds.

21 02 2011

It’s a nice letter, but here’s what people don’t understand. Mohammed’s life is well-documented. We know he had slaves, raped captives, maimed and tortured people, had sex with at least one child (and probably more) and was extremely war-like. How can you follow him?

If someone could explain this without taqiiyah, it would help. But I’m afraid there is just no answer that people will accept.

8 09 2010

Mr. Quddus,

There seems to be curtain on your eyes..You seem to have good knowledge but yet again comes another doubt in your mind..if you start doubting all things then what you say faith is….See Allah SWT could have created us like robots who worship him day n night..but Allah SWT with his own will have given us free will (our thinking is very free of any bonds) but have warned us of evil corrupting our thinking which might be your case..Allah SWT knows the best…Allah SWT may test us with loss sufferings allegations against our din but it is oneself who has to keep his faith intact & guard his free will….you have said the book may not be perfect & Y there is need for Sunnah…What I can tell you what proof can you provide that is your thinking perfect…Prove it your your will is not corrupt….Thinking & free will for example can even let person think if his parents are actually his own (may not be yours or my case but its true)….of course evil though arise to men….I recite surah 114, so that Allah SWT help me against those….I donno know in what form I will see him on the day of judgement….But certainly if Allah SWT will he will guide me….about sunnah I shall tell those are the references taken from Prophet Muhammed PBUH life…Finally for wudoo you don have to be semi-nude…you need to bring more self control while offering Namaaz….

As I already said you have knowledge but see for yourself so destructive you yourself have made it…you said you lived some part of life as a Muslim…Let me ask you when you offered Namaaz, to whom did you bow…did you bow down to check what the person in front of you was doing of is there a hole in his sock or u were bowing to Kabah….If answer to any of the above is true then your were never a Muslim…becaz when I bow I bow to Allah SWT…I don care in which row I am..I don care if person in front is wearing designer socks or no socks…Why females in Islam need to pray in curtain & seperate becaz then Evil can use that opportunity to create a feeling of lust in persons mind…You say Al Quran has not brought anything new as compared to other divine scriptures but first of all you need eye to see those….

You have given all translation of the verses in english..but feeling & intention of tranlsator/scholar govern the translated text..for example Srah 001 Al Fatiyah…”Show us straight path” & “lead us straight path” have altogether different meaning..who will decide wat is correct….But for determining wat is correct or wrong I don know about others I need my heart which tells me what to accept & what not…I always pray Allah SWT to help me so that I may not get misguided….

21 02 2011

Why females in Islam need to pray in curtain & seperate becaz then Evil can use that opportunity to create a feeling of lust in persons mind

If true, why don’t females get to sit in the main room sometimes and let the men sit behind the curtain?

28 09 2010

Amazing story Quddus. Thanks for sharing.
I have linked your blog to my site http://bangladeshiagnostic.wordpress.com/. Hope that’s ok. Best wishes 🙂

-Anamika (anonymous)

11 12 2010
Jon van Allen

Well, fascinating stuff all round. The Muslim brothers who argue in their responses seem to ignore the central core of why Islam, Christianity and Judaism are all mindlesslt cults predicated on the existence of an unproven and more probably than not non-existent god, allah or whatever. Talk about building an edifice on weak foundations…. Sorry, guys, you have all bought into a cult that is all about CONTROL of the masses by the few.

21 02 2011

Christianity and Judaism are not totalitarian ideologies that govern politics, law, and war. That’s a false equivalency.

Sorry, guys, you have all bought into a cult that is all about CONTROL of the masses by the few.

Again, we find the anger and belittling that comes from the New Atheists. Atheists never used to bother Christians or Jews, but it is rare these days to find one who is not openly hostile to us. Can’t we just wish each other good wishes and go our own way?

17 12 2010

The atuomic bomb was made in the name of Jesus,,,

*millions of the Japanese people were killed in the name of Jesus…

*Millions of Native Americans in North America and South America were killed in the name of Jesus,,,

* millions of Austrialan Native people were killed in the name of Jesus,,
* WWI and WWII, were in the name of Jesusand for the Christ!

*Millions of African were killed, tourterd and ENSLAVED in the name of Jesus!

*Millions of muslims and Arabs were killed in the crossades in the name of Jesus!

*Millions of children were enslaved from Eourpe for prostitution and to sell their organs in the name of Jesus!

it is clear that Jesus is a very baaaaaad man and he ask his followers to do all these things !

and let’s not talk about Jews , they are the ones Christians spit in thier faces evrey morning ! right !

21 02 2011

Oh, you are being ridiculous now. The statements are not true. For instance,I kind of doubt if the atheist, Einstein, who helped develop atomic theory, would say he did it for Jesus. And whar about Christians killed in the name of mohammed — not thousands o years ago, but going on right now in Africa and the Middle Eastt..or Hindus killed in India? And did you forget about Christians killed in the Crusades, Egypt, Ethiopia, Iraq, and Iran? (plus the Phillipines, Malaysia, Indonesia, etc.)

And your anti-Westernism is showing. Do you know that there are still slaves in the world? Do you know that the Arabs use the same word for “slave” as for “black”? Do you know about the slaves beaten in Saudi Araia, the child slaves picked up by traders in Sudan, child soldiers in Somalia, Christian sent to “camps” in China?

It’s getting to be a cliche’, the ol’ “Christians and Western Civilization are bad, m’kay?” stuff.

There ‘s a lot of evil RIGHT now you could be fighting against. Why aren’t you?

Okay. It’s been interesting. Sorry to monopolize the site, but it hit some nerves, as Christianity, the New Atheist movement, and islam are all heavy players in world events today, which I follow closely.

Thanks for reading my ramblings tonight, and may we all get along in peace and not blow the world up in the next 5 or 10 years. Lord, please give us wise leaders and not fools.

13 01 2011

Congratulations on leaving Islam.I have similar experiences as yours.I have left it as soon as I realized the deception.however I am still very much a believer of god however I don’t follow a religion to reach him.

27 05 2011

Thank you for your essay. This is one of the best ones ever written on this subject. I wish that every Muslim in the world could read it, and have the capacity to evaluate your message with honesty and objectivity, so that they might come to the same conclusion that you did – that Mohammad lied and Islam is not from God. .

21 08 2011

Just one question. What is the reason you spell it Islaam, Quraan, shariaah, etc when you can simply simplified them with only one a, any special purposes or anything?

22 11 2011
James Ross

Thank you for writing this… Very interesting.
I would very much like to speak with you sometime.

26 01 2012
sonia pillay


This was a long, but enjoyable read!

I noticed in the comment section, the personal opinions of muslims, athiest and christians, are diversed and very opinionated in their creed.

Muslims tend to show anger, rather than apathy for apostate, turning their mis-informed teachings about christianity, into the usual attack on the Jewish and christrian faiths their devilish prophet plagarized. Atheists are consistent in their aligning muslims with christians, also angry in their misguided evaluation of both religions. The christians seemingly assertive in their own belief structures maintained postive responses to both muslims and athiest.

29 01 2012

Interesting Article. I am a Muslim “Revert”, in my early 40s, highly educated, and from a Christian Background.

So much of the ground has already been covered, but just a few tidbits:

1). The “Church” has never apologized for the mass murder against 10s of millions (if not more) of people across the globe in “Christ’s name” since 33 AD. There is no “Church”. If anything, only Orthodox Christians can claim any rightful ownership to early Christianity, certainly not the RCC (which split off around 1054 or so). Let us also not forget, that Christians didn’t just kill the stereotype, of Africans, Native Americans, etc. Christians waged a relentless war against White Pagans on the British Isles, killing all who did not convert.

2). Christians most certainly ARE polytheists. How can one claim they aren’t when they pray to Jesus, an in “Jesus’s name”. I was a Christian, you will hear more talk about Jesus (pbuh), than God in most Churches. That innovation, let to other innovations, which leads to 13 year old girls having sex in a public school bathroom, and 10s of millions of abortions–almost none of which ever occur in Muslim lands, nor in Pagan lands–in fact, abortion is an industry almost EXCLUSIVELY in “Christian” (or “ethno-Christian”) nations, like the United States, Brazil, Italy, etc.

3). Westerners (be they Christians, “ethno-cultural” Christians or secularists) like to point to women’s rights as issues with Islam. First, most women in Islam lead normal, happy lives, and are not riddled with all the issues European and American women are (drugs, abortions, mental illness), second, if your claim is that there are no women’s rights, because she “ONLY” gets X amount of money in a divorce, or doesn’t have “her” children, etc…

Are you EQUALLY concerned that in the United States (as well as in Canada, the UK and Australian), WOMEN ALMOST COMPLETELY run domestic law, sometimes obtain 90 percent of their ex-husbands earned wealth (that HE earned) and as is the case in 90 percent of the states in the US, gets custody of the children, all while receiving alimony (still happens), “child support” (often outlandish amounts), the house, the car, debts paid off by her Ex, his pension rights, all attorney fees paid by him, and just about everything else not nailed down?

It’s called AMERICAN SHARIA and it’s about making sure women have EVERYTHING…yet these same women complain about what is basically equality (and yet, gender separation/recognition) in Muslim lands. Please. Spare me. If you doubt me, have three children, and get a divorce in the US and then come talk to me about women’s rights in Muslim nations–women there have many more rights than men here.

20 07 2012

Just thought I would let you know ..

I wrote another comment earlier under the name “rasheed”, as a muslim ..

About, hmm, 7 months after writing it, I fully rejected religion and became a “murtad” 🙂

Of course .. I can’t prove that I’m the same guy .. but I though I should share this anyway ..


20 08 2012
Christina Hainings

Never read such rubbish in my entire life! Please
Do ur homework properly next time! Ur a disgrace to humanity

21 08 2012

Have you ever seen such rubbish of a religion? Actually Islam is a disgrace to humanity and muslims are the only ones who cant get along with anyone else then how does that make islam humane?

13 09 2012
Mo Abdul Moore

Why Why Why are you revisiting and ripping to shreds peoples free choice to choose what religion or way of life people should (can or cant) follow. Reading through the replies on this post from Muslims who feel oppressed about their religion Islam ! and others critising Muslims and their way of life by insulting and trying to demean their religion. If your not happy with your faith don’t blame the faith look inside yourself and see if your free of dogma’s and biases founded from centuries of bitterness against all religions or religious experiences. God states in the Qur’an that religion is without compulsion, nobody forced Abdul Quddus to accept Islam he rather states that he went out of his way to get inside the local mosque and then spend time intensely learning Islam.
Life will never be perfect as a Muslim myself we all have to accept that paradise isn’t on this earth but rather the here after ‘sow the seeds here reap the rewards later’. But whilst were here behave ourselves control our anger, lusts and other things that usually get us into trouble ! The messenger of Islam Muhammad as stated int he quran was no more than a messenger to deliver like all the other many prophets of God before a clear and simple message! That message will be rejected by some and adhered to by others we might not agree or see eye to eye with all of our human family but one persons experiences is just that (peersonal). With billions of people in our world today lets have big hearts and wider minds and mutual respect with each other whether like me also a revert/convert to Islam or one of my many faith and no faith cousins get on with the jopb of looking after one and other….regards Mo Abdul Moore (Manchester UK)

21 02 2013

Hi thank you for your post. Lately I have been feeling very unhappy with my religion. I was born a Muslim and my family are very practising. I pretend I am a good practising Muslim while deep down I have stopped believing in many of the teachings of Islam long ago. When I saw that my belief was wavering I sought refuge in Salafiya. I thought if I became more strict then all would be fine. I think salafiya put the last nail in the coffin for me. I could not believe some of the things I was hearing. Basically the woman was a walking talking sex object. You have to look down when walking. No perfume otherwise it’s like your performing sex to everyone who smells you. No raising your voice. No school for girls. You have to cover all the time. No make up or anything. Basically everything the girl does will lead a man to want her so she can’t do anything.
I feel so bad for saying this as I am constantly afraid of going to hell. I can’t say any of this to my family because I honestly feel they would disown me. I want to stop pretending and live my life but I fear it’s impossible.

24 12 2013
Børge Bahr Naseer Blåtind


I fully understand you, I was a member of Eckankar for years, and when leaving it also created fear and anxiety. I posted the below, because if you go back to basic, There is a creator, there are no personal god, take care of environment, live in peace, scare wealth.
The rest is religion. BUT if you can free yourself from the poison of the Hadith stories and read the Quran with understanding, you keep faith and live a free life. No pillars are needed.
So the ills of Islam stem from the Hadith stories, this can be verified by books here:
Free English book refuting Hadith and understand the Quran for download in PDF format:

And links like this: http://www.aastana.com/blog/

I also do not claim to know all truth or much, but the Quran without the poison of Hadith can be read very different.


10 04 2013
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I’m curious to find out what blog platform you’re working with?
I’m having some minor security issues with my latest website and I would like to find something more safeguarded. Do you have any solutions?

23 04 2013
Bruce Ramsey

I talk with Muslims a lot, and, in the process, I’ve learned a lot about Islam. I’m always amazed that Muslims are so trusting of a Being that promises them eternal sex with virgins if they kill and are killed in Allah’s cause while this same Being only made it appear that Jesus went to the cross (creating damning Christianity) due to it being the “best of deceivers”.

2 05 2013

Found this through Islam-watch.org

Well, well, lots of water gone under the bridge since. Poor muslim world, poor western world, so much suffering in Syria, Pakistan, Iraq, Afghanistan from this evil religion.

Not that I defend the dictators, I was one who thought they might overthrow them to get freedoms and human rights.

Some are trying, but I am very sad, that islamists are hijacking the real opposition.

Well, no doubt it will take years or decades.

Thank you for this very long testimony. I also went through many years of seeking, with buddhism, other new age stuff. (my older generation).

Now I tend to think it’s a sort of ‘problem’ in our human genome, we are vulnerable and stupid. Our brains are wired from childhood and irrational beliefs are a real poison that isn’t easy to eradicate. In fact probably we’ll always remain vulnerable to some form of manipulation.

The only solution would be to ban childhood indoctrination. I wish it could be written into the universal human rights charter. ‘to be free from religion’.

As for all the comments, some I read, some not, really, some will go to extremes to justify their own irrational beliefs.

Lets just hope that man will wake up and realize these terrible things that are irrational murderous beliefs that only seek to manipulate and often kill.

Good luck.

22 05 2013

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31 05 2013

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23 10 2013

Reblogged this on What comes to my mind… and commented:
I bumped into this blog while searching for ex-muslims and I am pleased to introduce to you a thinking ape like us, named Abdul-Quddus.

24 12 2013
Børge Bahr Naseer Blåtind

Peace to all, as another convert I also took fairly similar journey, BUT I realized that the ills of Islam stem from the Hadith stories, this can be verified by books here:
Free English book refuting Hadith and understand the Quran for download in PDF format:

And links like this: http://www.aastana.com/blog/

I also do not claim to know all truth or much, but the Quran without the poison of Hadith can be read very different.


6 02 2014
Ryan Rhodes

Everything Islamic should be destroyed including all records of Islam, even that which is on the internet, artwork, and the people themselves.

7 02 2014

You know what… the more you try to destroy Islam the more it will keep spreading.

To remind you, the enemies of Islam is trying to destroy it since the very beginning with power, money, force and everything they’ve got, but they failed, and they always will.

I don’t care what you think about Islam. I know that Islam takes care of itself.


30 04 2014


I Left Islam | K H A L A S !

4 05 2014

対外的な業務をこなすんだから自主的にやるのが当たり前なのに ポップは蟻がでるらしいし・・・
ほとんどの人は自分の度から下げてでも買っていくらしいけど 捏造して何が楽しいんだろ
何人かと付き合うとチャラいの? しかし、この数年で利用者が急増、眼障害は逆に増えている印象だ」と指摘する。 女性の職場での服装はさまざまだ

1 08 2014

Ah my friend. 🙂 I’m glad i’m not the only one who went through the trouble to discover whether there is God or not.
In fact, I read blogs like yours every now and then just to make sure I didn’t miss anything.
So, I’m afraid i’d have to tell you that I saw some fallbacks in your story.

I am Muslim.
I was born muslim.
But for the past 9 years, I wasn’t.
I gave in to the temptation that there’s no God, and that “life is too short”, and all that propaganda about living it up and enjoying it while it “lasts”.
I loved listening to Stephan Hawking, and all the atheist proofs that there’s no God, and that we evolved from Monkeys….
And I lived quite a fun life.

But let me tell you this, when I came back to Islam, I went through a similar search like yours, and I came to base my decision that Islam is true on the following key elements:
1. Historical facts: This is also what you’ve done, and you saw that Islam could be legitimate.
2. Evidence: Facts were not enough, so as I imagine you did, we look into the Quran for Signs that it is indeed the wholy book of God. And there are many. So far, Islam looks good. Then we move on to the 3rd piece of the puzzle:
3. Logic: I see you had your own logic about things, but I disagree with most of it. You can’t possible reject a Whole faith just because the Quran told you that you were created perfect, but the Prophet said that it’s nice to: “cut the nails, trim the moustache, remove the hair from the armpit, shave the pubic region and get circumcised.” part of our perfection is indeed that we come nicely packaged.
If you complain about this, then you should complain that you have to unpack your new XBox. 🙂
4. Experience: This is key. You had a bad experience, and you based your entire belief on it. Now, my friend, I expected more from you.
You expected Islam to be “Happiness in a Box” or “Happiness in a Book”. Whereas Islam is a KEY to happiness. IT’s up to you to use it well.

So now, i’ll go back to explain the 4 elements mentioned above from my perspective.
1. Historical Facts and 2. Evidence are easily found on youtube or google or anywhere. No need to delve into it.
As for
3. Logic: There are 2 ways to believe in god:
3.1 through sheer observation of the universe, and coming to the conclusion that there’s very little logic in it creating itself.
IF it did create itself, and create conscuous beings, then it must be Conscious too. (watch Kyamatica for more examples).
So if the universe is conscious, then why couldn’t IT send us a message that there’s NO God. OR Why didn’t IT itself tell us to worship it instead. WHY did the universe leave things so obscure for us.
You will argue that we were created by chance, I highly doubt that. One of the easiest counter arguments is that the chance to build the most simplistic of protein molecule is 1 in 10^168.
Since the bib bang, and the creation of the universe, only 10^16 seconds have gone by.
So if every second, since the big bang, the universe was randomly trying to build a protein molecule, we would still not have existed yet.
more info on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BhPf90ruoY
(The Signs of God’s Existence )

3.2 Through the fact that both Judaism and Christianity have recorded so many miracles happening at the time. Such miracles surely are a sign of God’s existence.

4. Experience: Through my experience, some of the muslim people I know, starting with my father and mother, and going to my pakistani Friend, are excellent people.
Needless to say, I met a LOT of HIGHLY Annoying muslims. But they’re just Culturally muslims. and of course, there are very few arabs I get along with.
But THOSE who are trully muslim or christian, or Jewish, or buddhist, or Hindu, or … ARE TRULLY AMAZING PEOPLE.
The only bad ones i met so far, are those who are only half religious, or take religion from it’s back-end.
And of course, From a personal experience, I’ve never felt calmer and straight than when I started praying.
And i’d like to think that I’ve taken two years prior to islam, just trying to better myself and stopping bad habits. Eventually, when I was starting to become a good person, with fewer flaws, Islam came very very naturally to me. There’s nothing that it said not to do, that i wasn’t trying to stop doing anyway. And there’s nothing that it told us to do, that I wasn’t trying to start doing anyway.

Jihad my friend, is broken into two types:
-The smaller Jihad: Which is fighting those who come to fight you in DEFENSE. And no matter how you want to look at war and self defense in islam, One thing remains: NO killing innocent. If a man doesn’t fight you, don’t fight him. And NO Woman or Kid should ever be harmed in purpose or as collateral.
Where you could have gone wrong on that, I don’t know! Please go check your sources again. they were blind, and they blinded you.
-The BIGGER JIHAD: This is the most important type which advocates seeking to better oneself, and to seek knowledge. HOW DID YOU EVER THINK that Islam discourages seeking knowledge, only God knows. The very first verse that came to the prophet is: READ/RECITE.
The second most used word after God in The quran is “Ilm” which means Knowledge.

In conclusion, I’m not trying to bring you back, or tell you that you’ll burn in hell, but it’s a shame you got things backwards after so much time and dedication.
While reading your story, i couldn’t help notice that you were desperate from the very begining, and bordering on suicidal depression. Shouldn’t you at least think of Islam as something that saved you, although temporarilly?
You wanted to go as far as to be a Martyr. Don’t you see that as a psychological problem that you have? You so much are desperate to belong somewhere, anywhere, you were eventually going to belong with the dead.

And now, finally you’re happy with your faction of atheist.
It’s sad.
Islam is a religion of Balance. Fill a third of your life with Islam, a third with work, and a third with Love and enjoyment.

13 01 2016

Oh please Yassine! There have been a great number of muslims like you who claim to have become an atheist at some point in their lives. I for one infact have no problems with you being a muslim but if anyone that comes and shoves a I left islam, became an atheist and then reverted back because I discovered god argument then please do not call yourself an atheist. You went through a rebellion phase and that is not what atheism is all about. An ex muslim who leaves islam is because lack of logic and reason in any religion. I’m actually happy for you that you found peace in Islam and its good for you but I hate to break it to you that you’ve never been an atheist!

12 10 2014
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When someone writes an article he/she maintains the idea of a
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23 07 2015

As someone told me somewhere, it took a more higher leap of Faith to believe in the divine coincidence or divine random than to believe in the God.Atheist is the most staunchest believer of a mythical coincidence.

13 01 2016

I am with you on this one. I converted to Islam 16 years ago out of curiosity and it ruined my life completely. It took me 16 years to realise how brainwashed I was. This religion is full of hatred and evil. Reverts/converts are too scared to admit it. My spouse is a brainwashed salafi living in the middle east, dresses like them, acts like them, Worships the country called Saudi Arabia. Unfortunately I was one of them. Khalas.

13 03 2016

Fake or had no clue of what Islam is or what the prophet Mohammad pbuh taught or who he was
People who killed his family
And torrured them he forgave them and didn’t harm them, what level of love and compassion can be similar to this ?

1 09 2016
Mathias Worcke

Today many educated Muslims want to leave Islam but are afraid that they will be killed by their fellow religionists. By adapting the Sanatana way of life they need not change their name, diet, customs or undergo purification ceremonies; or say prayer in an alien language or visit places of worship; and live harmoniously with their neighbours. Hence the Muslims must be first shown a safe path so that they renounce Islam but does not arouse suspicion among their fellow Muslims. See http://ilovesanatanadharma.blogspot.in/

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